the SHARE standard

She's about 17 months, so it's probably pretty normal.  Sharing and Sofia are not good friends.  If we have two of something (or better yet, five!) then there is no problem.  But when there is one baby doll, one umbrella, one sippy cup, one black crayon...we're in trouble.  

If she wants it, and if she doesn't get it (or if Mommy takes it) we have full out melt-downs, throwing herself on the floor, alligator tears, shrieking...the works.

Knowing this to be normal, but wanting to make sure we are doing all we can to teach Sofie to be generous and ready to share (1 Tim. 6:18), I hit the internet a few nights ago, looking for good suggestions, tips and counsel. 

I found lots of good support and practical tips, but one of the major defenses I came across several times was SHOCKING to me.  In a nutshell, here it is:

"As adults, teaching a child to share against their will is making us hypocrites.  We do not share our toys, our phones, our cars, our wallets, our food with strangers, or even with friends! Why should we force our children to share their property when WE don't?  Eventually, our children will learn that no one wants to play with them because they are mean, and then they will choose to share if they want to.

Even if another child shares with our children, that does not in any way mean that our children must share.  Let's teach our children to be a part of the real world without crazy expectations on them, and if they won't be required to share when they grow up, why should they be required to share now?"

Welcome to modern parenting, I suppose.

But I can't get the argument out of my mind, because of course, while I realize this may well all be REALITY, there is something inherently WRONG here.

Shocker: the world today does not live according to the live-giving message of Scripture.  We don't even offer it to our babies.

I suppose it IS partly true.  We should not have any expectations for our babies that we do not have for ourselves.  We're not going to succeed trying to teach our children things that we ourselves do not do.

Therein lies the bigger problem...Why AREN'T we sharing our toys, our phones, our cars, our wallets, our food with strangers...with friends?  Is the standard for the world today to be selfish, clutchy, 17 month old BRATS?

When I see Sofie behave like this, kicking and screaming over a bead necklace (which I would debate has as much value before the Lord as a car or $100 bill) I feel SAD.  This is not the life God has for her.  It is not as it should be.  There is no joy in it for her, for Him or for anyone else.  

But when I realize that this is same expectation that much of the world has for our own behavior, I feel devastated.  

He didn't just give us His Word because obeying it brings HIM glory.  Didn't just give it to us because it's good for OTHERS.  He also gave us His instruction because it is BEST for us, and instead we're settling for toddler desires and behavior.

What does the BIBLE say about sharing?

Do good.  Be rich in good works.  Be generous and ready to share.  (1 Timothy 6:18)

Do not neglect to do good and share what you have, as it is pleasing to Him.  (Hebrews 13:16)

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.  (Luke 6:38)

To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. (Luke 6: 29)

My take-away:

Before I balk at the world's argument, I'm trying instead to examine myself...

Am I sharing MY toys? Do I act like my stuff is MINE, or His?  Am I free with His car, His toys, His wallet, His food, His house, or do I clutch at them as selfishly (though not as obviously) as Sofie?  When it's given (or taken), do I allow it but internally throw a fit?  Sob a little over my loss?  Hold on tighter next time?  

The Bible's instruction for me must be my instruction for Sofie.  The Bible's standard for us has to be the standard I'm working towards in Sofie's life...but also in my OWN.  Because I LOVE her.  Because He loves me.  And I KNOW He KNOWS what is best.

This "share standard" may be the standard of the world, but it's not OURS.  

Let's be His kids today, looking different, playing different, giving different. There is a better life available for us than that which ti-Sofie, and much of the population, are stingily living...

...one, as Luke 6: 38 says, that is running over!

His touch

When I woke up this morning after an almost completely sleepless night, my throat still painfully sore, school for Lily in 40 minutes and for myself in 50, and pulled a screaming Sofie from her crib only to find her burning, still burning to the touch...

i didn't think I could do it.  The day.  The morning.  Anything.  

I had prayed all night, ALL night, over and over, for His healing touch.  

Clearly He hadn't touched her at ALL.  What was I going to do?

A quick check on my email came more frightening news from Sofie's pediatrician in Jersey.  "This is when she needs to get to a doctor.  GO."

I got Lily off, set up my class, and tearily ran home and got a completely lethargic Sofie and headed for Dr. Rodney.  Having blood drawn barely stirred her, she kept falling in and out of fitful sleep.  She was SO hot.  

As we waited for results, I carried her back and forth throughout the clinic yard, past women whose limbs were as horrifically thin as Sofie's...children just as sick...lots of obvious signs of AIDS, Tuberculosis...misery.   

And as I prayed, I found myself asking God in my weariness...

Aren't YOU scared?

My silent question seemed to ring out throughout the coughing, wheezing yard.  

errrr....No.  No, I guess you're not.  

You're not scared, are you?  Because You know the future.  

You know You've got it, huh.  

You have no reason to be scared, because You are GOD.


Then why are YOU scared? I felt Him ask me right back. 

Because You DON'T know I've got it?  Because you DON'T know I'm God?


I felt suddenly foolish.  Why WAS I scared?  

The answer was obvious.  

Because I didn't trust Him.  


Sure, I trusted Him with Sofie, but only for MY result.  And without a guarantee on that result...I was afraid.

Suddenly I felt the sunny yard full of skinny and sick and staring people become a holy place of honesty.  Of truth.  Of shame.

I realized that all the days I'd been raising my hands up confessing trust and confidence in Him were promised in light of things going MY way...in light of health and sunshine when the rubber really hit the road.  

The ground felt holy...and I did not.  I'll forever be grateful for the simple but clear way my true heart was exposed through this, and for the touch of His forgiveness and the gift of faith.  I gave Him Sofie, AGAIN, truly.  

The same lesson I learned just days ago for Lily applied again:  We are not our own, but HIS, and as such, have N-O-T-H-I-N-G to fear.

Even where there's no ER.  

He wasn't scared because He was God.  
I wasn't scared for the same reason.

Rodney called us in, went through a slew of issues she might have, settled on Dengue Fever, gave me a pill bottle with the label ripped off full of pink syrup, and told me what to watch carefully for.  

He was super busy, there were another hundred people to see, but as I reached out to thank him, he put his hands, instead, on Sofie, and plummeted into prayer, thanking God for her life and asking Him to heal her, for His glory.

We brought her home, gave her 'the pink stuff' (talk about trust), and a student was at the door, wanting to pray for us before heading home for the weekend.  

He came in, started to pray over our weary selves, and put his hands on our shoulders, praying for God's presence and God's peace in our lives and home.

We got through the afternoon, and suddenly, Sofie wanted down (for the first time in DAYS), and there she was on the sidewalk, picking up little rocks and toddling around the yard...a complete miracle after being completely unable to do so the past four days, just a few hours earlier.  

And at dinner, she ate 3 noodles and 2 carrots, more than she's eaten in days.

And after dinner, we decided to do her VERY favorite thing, ride around the campus slowly on the bike.  She grinned and squealed, and hearing her joy mixed with the laughter of the students as they played ball, seeing the sun setting on the glorious mountains around us, I felt His touch.

The one I had prayed for, and the one He had sent...
His touch on my heart in the yard, Rodney's hands on Sofie's back, Frantz's grip on my shoulder, Sofie's little hand in mine as we fed the goats.  

 

His touch is the miracle, isn't it.

On our bodies, yes.  But on our hearts...that's the place where the Promises are kept--where the peace comes, where the joy dwells, where the trust is faithful--despite circumstances.

 Despite me.

Real Simple.

When we moved to Haiti and realized that we would have to pay almost $2 per pound to receive mail...we cancelled all our magazine subscriptions.  

All but one that is.

I couldn't seem to part with Real Simple.  

It's images are clean.  Organized.  Quiet.

Spotless living rooms with costly furniture, beautiful carpets, fragile glass vases.

Succulent recipes with bright berries, rich sauces, tantalizing creams.

Peaceful women with inspired gazes, flowing clothing, perfect teeth.

You know...
like the opposite of stepping on a plastic dinosaur with my black-bottom foot in a sweat-drenched shirt that's been doubling as a napkin/kleenex/boo-boo blotter, all while standing over the stove with a bawling baby on my hip, two visitors at the door and yet another pot of bubbling (you guessed it) rice and beans.

Breathe in, breathe out...there's always Real Simple.  It might be imaginary, but it's a nice, quiet, cool place.  Emphasis on cool.  Or quiet.  Depends on the day.

BUT

When my October issue arrived, and a few evenings later I finally curled up  stretched out (it will NEVER be cool enough to curl) with a cup of coffee to enjoy my happy place, I realized only a few pages in that I was scanning the pages and subconsciously muttering...WHAT?  That's such garbage!

Here's what I got, blow by blow.

$310 Million: The estimated amount Americans spent last year on Halloween costumes for their PETS.
Where I'm sitting, this is incredibly hard to deal with.  
Where you're sitting, I hope it's incredibly hard to deal with.

My night was ruined.  My night SHOULD have been ruined.  I'm pretty sure I CAN'T deal with this stat.  I keep telling myself that can't be right, and choosing to live in ignorance, because I can't walk out my gate with this information in my mind without feeling sick and terribly depressed.  

And I want to shred the page--want to make sure that none of the people who pick through our garbage and take food and items that we deemed "trash" find the page and have it translated.

10 Items Every Woman Should Own
They are ALL clothing.  All 10.

Essential for every woman according to Real Simple: black pants...black suit...black clutch.

Essential for every woman according to the world's reality:  food.  Enough food for your husband. AND your kids.  Education for your child.  Even better, education for ALL your children.  Enough money for education AND food.  Water.  Even dirty water.  Medical care.  Enough money for medical care AND food... Jesus.

I am left wondering why "every woman" doesn't include ANY of the women I live with, doesn't include me.

How to Turn Your Money into Even More of Your Money
The more we see stuff like this, the more we read stuff like this, the more we say stuff like this, the more we believe stuff like this.  

There have been a lot of things I once believed that the last 10 years have changed, and one of them is this: that my money, my time, my stuff, even my life is my money, my time, my stuff, my life. 

The more I think of things as mine, the further I seem to stray from Biblical living:  giving, trusting the Lord, forking over my first and then joyfully handing over my second, too...do good even to my enemies, give without expecting return, seek first the kingdom of God, whoever asks you to go one mile, go with him two, not worrying about tomorrow.

Vices You Should Keep: Gossip
The article says that, "There isn't only great pleasure that comes in gossiping, but it can also be beneficial...Information is power, and its dissemination (spread) reduces the influence of the people who had it first.  Human language evolved so we could gain social information."

Talk about sweetening up sin!  Proverbs 20:19 tells us not even to associate with gossip, 2 Corinthians 12:20 pairs gossip with slander, arrogance, jealousy and strife...women, especially, are encouraged in 1&2 Timothy and Titus not to be gossips, without self control and talking about things that should never be mentioned, but instead to be faithful and temperate (showing restraint).  

Here I am, working on these things because my Bible by day is telling me to flee, and my Real Simple by night is encouraging me to indulge.  

Add in 150 pages of things I wish I had, and by the end my usual "peaceful place" had me instead feeling quite discontent with my frumpy, faded, sticky, rice and water life.  Frustrated with my constantly-mess-making family.  Unsatisfied with the monotony of dull, hard-working days instead of vibrant, exciting life in heels!

By the time I finished flipping through the thick pages and lovely colors of my Real Simple, the real simple truth seemed to be this: 

while there may be nothing wrong with enjoying a magazine 

(or facebook, or that blog, or that friend, or tv, etc...) 

there are SO many mixed messages being thrown at us constantly 

(and you more than me, perhaps, depending on your culture)...

messages that all seem to line up and sound right, 

until we lay them next to Scripture.

Our standard, family, isn't supposed to be anywhere close to magazine-standard, to tv-standard.

Nowhere close to everyone-else-standard.  

Our standard for our lives isn't even supposed to be church-standard, or best-person-I-know standard.

Our life is to now be hidden in Christ!  We are to measure to the standard of the fullness of Christ! (Eph 4:13). 

As intimidating and overwhelming as this reality can be: 

Our standard is CHRIST.  The way he spoke is the way we are to speak.  The way He lived is the way we're supposed to live.  The way His Word tells us to think and to act and to dream is how we're supposed to think...act...dream.

That is the standard that allows us to live in the love and freedom Christ died for.  And the standard we will be judged by.  And the standard we are to measure our lives by.

His.

And the more I expose myself to the things that are "Real Simple" to the world, the more I become comfortable with a standard that God NEVER set for me.  As His dearly beloved child, He holds so much more for us than this!  Wants, and expects, so much more...and offers and provides His very help!

Perhaps it is time for me to give up my subscription to the world's standard of things, though, like gossip, it does bring great pleasure.  

Perhaps my time, and my heart, could be better spent and refreshed and focused by dwelling on the rest, comfort, encouragement and peace that comes, not from new furniture, not from a spotless home, not from a finished list...but from Him.

one of the {free} few

Give without expectation has not been the only pertinent and life-giving message I've been learning from Luke 6.  There is another, a personal pet peeve but also a personal major temptation...Do not judge, do not condemn.  (Luke 6:37)

As Christ followers, I often see this coming to fruition through judging what God would WANT others to be doing, how HE would want them to be doing it, where HE would want them to be.  I easily fall into this trap of disguised judgement.  

It's STILL judging...It's me deciding what God would want others to do, and evaluating how they are falling short of that...when HE is the judge.

Now, obviously, calling sin SIN is not the same as judging.  God has already laid out what sin is.  He has judged already, and we are to uphold in one another the truth.

For example, to lie is a sin.  Colossians 3:9 (and dozens of others) says clearly, "do not lie to each other."  

We are commanded over and over in Scripture to admonish one another in love when we see a friend stumble or disobey.  To, in love and with the heart of Jesus, talk to a friend about their deviation from the truth, is Scriptural and necessary in the Body.

But judgment is a different thing.  While I'm seeing it take place in such upright settings and in such godly ways, as I'm asking the Spirit to show me sin in my life (this Killing Sin book is really stretching me!) I'm starting to wonder if some of my ways I've been holding on to as "what God wants" are actually just judgments, disguised.

Let me give you an example from my own life.

Around this time last year, a man we had met once or twice contacted us, sharing that he and his wife and kids were praying about moving to Haiti full time.  They asked for advice and counsel.  

Quite sagely, I shared with them our joy over hearing about their experience of His call, and advised them to be patient, go slow, take all the "right" steps (which, coincidentally, were all the same steps WE had taken in coming to the mission field), expect delays and discouragement, and that hopefully we'd see them in about 2 years (which also coincidentally, was of course how long it took US to get to the field.)

They sweetly shared their understanding, but noted that they truly felt that God was asking them to come NOW, and that He had clearly opened a lot of doors for this to be a possibility.  

Like, they wanted to move to Haiti with their family in 3 months, coming independently without a major sending organization, etc.  

I shared again my very "godly" advice, and may have said something very nicely about their courage that may have actually meant, you're nuts.  There is NO way that's the thing to do.

I knew that no matter what they felt God was telling and equipping and leading THEM to, that was NOT how God had led and equipped us, so...I judged their situation through MY lens, and felt them WRONG.

They weren't sinning.  I wasn't admonishing them of their sin.  They were feeling God's voice telling them differently than I had, so I judged them as being wrong.  

Instead of trusting God to lead their lives, and trusting THEM to be stepping out on their faith in His call for their lives and GETTING BEHIND THEM, I was, though silently, though sweetly, an obstacle by my judgement.

We've seen many other examples of this since Matt has been named President at Emmaus.  He is TOO young, it has very nicely been shared countless times.  It is too big a job.  He is TOO intelligent for this position, squandering his God-given brilliant brain in a dirt village in a non-influential country.  He is not intelligent enough.  Only someone with 50 years of pastoral experience could take on such a job.  Is he even ordained?  He's too Haitian.  He's not Haitian enough.  This position is far too stressful.  It's not what he originally came here to do.  He doesn't even like to wear suits! 

The list of "godly encouragement" goes on and on.

But IS it?  Frankly, "help" like this has felt a lot more DIScouraging.  Matt accepted the appointment after months (MONTHS) of prayers, study, wise council, laying awake at night with the Lord, fasting, reading, searching.  There was NO WAY he was going to step into a position such as this if it was not UNDENIABLY the next step that God had for him.  No chance.

And in the end, he felt confident that despite his millions of reasons why he wasn't the man for the job or wasn't qualified for the job, that he was chosen and qualified in CHRIST to take it...felt certain that it would be His power perfected in Matt's weakness, felt sure that this was indeed what God had for him right now.

And though many people's judgement of the situation has been given with very pure hearts, very loving minds, very good motives...it has often times been a heavy weight for Matt, often times feels more like judgement.


This is what He is convicting in me:  When I judge a situation, another's behavior or other's daily choices through MY lens, I am STILL actually saying that perhaps I do NOT fully trust Him.

I didn't fully TRUST God in His call of Mark and Sarah.  He was either making a mistake, or they were.  I don't fully TRUST that God is GOD of such-and-such situation.  Didn't fully trust that He can handle the situation, that He will prevail, or that He will conquer. 

Here it is:  
How often in my life do I huddle in a my tent 
WITH God's chosen people, 
thoughtfully judging a situation
circulating my "God-given" wisdom
sharing my experiences of battle
and spouting loving common sense...
"DAVID IS TOO LITTLE TO FIGHT GOLIATH!"  

That Moses is too tongue-tied to approach Pharaoh?  
That John is too smelly to prepare the Way?  
That Judas was a sketchy choice of a friend? 
That Jesus was too poor, unimportant, plain and humble to be King and Rescuer of the World?

It was the FEW, the very few, who trusted God--and when there was a contradiction--ignored the "godly advice" of others who did SUCH GREAT THINGS before God.  

It still IS.  It IS the very few who trust in God and ignore the judgements of others who often do great things for God.

And not ONLY do I want to be one of those few, but I ALSO want to be one of those who ENCOURAGES others to do the same. 

 To listen to His voice and to follow it with all their strength and hearts.  To GET BEHIND those He is calling (even if He didn't personally share His call on THEIR lives with ME) and be wind in their sails and sweet ointment on their heads...not a thorn in their sides, a discouragement in their journeys, not a bitterness to their bite.

To do this, I've GOT to learn to remove MYSELF from my assessment of situations, to remove myself completely.  To remove my judgement.  Not judging, not condemning.  And to TRUST, not necessarily in the person, but to trust GOD to prevail in the situation, and to ask HIM to use ME as an encourager of His sovereignty. 

It means asking Him to take EVERY thought captive, because if you're like me, it's easy to judge anything and everything all day, from others schedules to their speech to their children to their diets to their countenance to their moods to their choices to their movies to their comments to their glances.

It means deliberately and mentally fleeing the MOMENT I catch myself judging....and choose to TRUST HIM instead.

To help, I've been trying to apologize each time I dwell in judgement, even if the person NEVER knew I was...that's good encouragement to flee from the sin of judging and condemning!  

(SO, Sarah! (I know you're reading this :) God gave me such a chance to trust in HIS will for your lives and to be nothing but support for you because of that...and I wasn't.  I leaned on my OWN understanding and experiences and not on HIS.  I'm SORRY!  

I am SO thankful you are here and so grateful for your friendship, and so thankful that you had the courage to go where and how He was sending instead of listening to the voice of man.  We love your family...)

He knows best.  He knows judging isn't LOVE for others, and He also knows it ISN'T good for ME.  Jesus didn't only die because of the 'bad stuff' I do, but also died to make me free, sweet free, of the burdens and bondage of sin.  

Praise the Lord...I'm still a work in progress...a work He hasn't quit yet.


Note: I hope I haven't upset anyone by this.  If so, that is not at all my intention...only to share what I see Him working on in my heart.  I pray it is, instead, an encouragement to you in your progress-journey with Christ!  As always, give grace, take what is meat and throw the rest out as foolishness.  I love you!

found by you

Coming back to Haiti this year, I was committed to get that good, daily (EVERY day) time with the Lord that I NEED (and want!) no matter WHAT.  I knew what I needed to do.

It has meant using my most productive, most uninterrupted, most peaceful time.  Every day after lunch at 12:30, Sofie and Lily go down for their naps.  Because the sun is hot and high and because, well, a LOT of people go down for their naps after the big noon meal of the day, we almost NEVER have visitors at this time.  Gertha and Noel are long gone, Matt's back to the office...

This used to be my GO time.  I would go crazy, cleaning up from the morning, finishing work I hadn't been able to accomplish in my three short office hours, making dinner and bread for the evening, washing dishes, hanging out laundry, catching up on emails...I could get SO much DONE.

But I committed to give whatever it took to have that good time with the Lord, and so the moment I get them down, before I touch ANYTHING, I  (some days literally FORCED myself to) sit at my desk, pull out my Bible, journal, "Utmost for His Highest" and dig in.

And (no surprises here) it has been SO good.  And the house might be messier.  And tonight's crock pot meal got going WAY too late and instead of still-hard beans and undercooked beef for supper, we were forced to have pancakes and eggs...and now that it's 8:30 pm and Matt, Lily and Sofie are all in bed, our intended dinner is ready to eat.  

BUT it's been good, and (again, no surprises) He's been faithful to meet me as I've tried so hard to meet Him.

Have a second?  Because today the Lord in Jeremiah touched the heart in Stacey.

You know the very famous verse in Jeremiah 29:11 that says, "For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope" ?  

Do you know what verse 10 says?

I didn't.  It says, "Thus says the Lord: When seventy years (70!) have been completed, I will fulfill My good word to you, and bring you back to this place.  For I know the plans I have..."

I know the plans I have for you, to give you a hope and a future...in SEVENTY years.  I'm SO darn impatient.  I don't have to sit but a few days in discomfort, confusion or frustration before I throw up my hands to Him in an "I've had all I can take" prayer.  "For heavens sakes, settle this, Lord."

His time is just NOT our time, and for the thousandth time we're reminded in verse 13 that it's not about events being accomplished or tasks being completed, but about BEING in Him.

"You will seek Me and FIND me when you search for ME with all your heart.  When you search for Me with all your heart, I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

No, "you will find your answer"...just, "You will find The Answer."  No, "you will find your way"...just, "You will find The Way.  

When we finally stop our running and thinking and trying and straining and seek Him, search for Him with ALL our hearts, He will be found.  He has promised it.  He will make Himself found.  

And just another chapter later, for the first time I saw this huge promise of deliverance from captivity for the Israelite people that is ALSO this HUGE promise of deliverance from captivity for US.  For Haiti.  For where you are.  For ME.

30:12--"For thus says the Lord, your wound is incurable.  Your injury, serious.  There is NO one to plead your cause; there is no healing for your sore, no recovery for you.  All your lovers have forgotten you, they do not seek you;  Your iniquity is great and your sins are numerous.  Why even cry out over your injury?  Your pain is incurable."

Man, do I see it.  Yes, I see it around me...the incurable wound in a village full of darkness in a country full of darkness, where men are burned alive in tires because of hatred and revenge and little girls live unspeakable lives for a plate of rice.  There is no recovery.  No healing.  No hope in the lovers of the world.  

And yes, I see it in America.  The more we saw and heard politics and its problems, the more we watched of the killings in Colorado, the more we saw the evening news..."Your injury, serious."  The things America has given everything for, forgotten her.  

But most, I feel it in me.  There is just plain NOTHIN' I can do to redeem myself.  This bent towards self in me...serious.  No cure that can be found in this world.  No healing for my numerous sin in my husband, friends, family, resources, activities, children.

It's ugly.  Our situation by ourselves.  With no hope. 

Outside of Him.

"But I will restore you to health, and I will heal you of your wounds,' declares the Lord.  'You shall be my people, and I will be your God...
At that time, the people who survived the sword found GRACE in the wilderness.  I have loved you with an everlasting love; 
Therefore I have drawn you in with lovingkindness.  
I will build you and you will be rebuilt, and with weeping they will come, and by supplication I will lead them; I will make them walk by steams of waters, on a straight path in which they will not stumble. 
And my people will be satisfied with My goodness.  
There is hope for your future."  (Jeremiah 30:17-31:17)

Isn't THAT the promise of the century?  Of TIME? 

That incurable rot of sin in us doesn't have to be our future, doesn't have to be our life.  There is no healing for that, no fixing it...but in Him.  He wants and promises that if "I will be the God of you, then you shall be My people."  Promises to restore us.  Give us new life.  To heal our wounds...to give us GRACE, even in the wilderness of our lives, even after surviving the sword.  

WHY?  Because He's loved us with an everlasting love.  70 years.  And then some.  EVER-LASTING.  

Loved me.  Loves Haiti.  Loves America.  Loves you.  Everlasting love.

As I wait and watch p-a-t-i-e-n-t-l-y for this to be fulfilled in Haiti, it is with Hope.  Because He knows the future, He has an everlasting love for each person on this planet, and because He can DO what No-One-No-Thing-No-Place else can do.  

Heal wounds.  Rebuild.  Make straight.  BE entirely Satisfying.

And I rejoice that there is no more waiting in my life, no more in-vain crying out about what to do with this problem of my life.  

Because He has been found by me (right before me the whole time)...just because I searched.  And every day, in the most free, most productive, most precious time I have to give, He is again.

Press on, weary friend, with hope.

put armies to flight...and were sawn in two

My "making space" time this Lent has been challenging my socks off (if I ever wore socks) in the Word.  Hebrews 11 a few nights ago is still resounding in my spirit as it reality checks my life.  

Make a space today, pull out Hebrews 11 and see what He brings to your heart and mind...you can read what He's bringing to mine below.

Hebrews 11

BY FAITH (the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen)...

     men of old : gained approval

     Abel offered better than Cain

     Abel still speaks : though he is dead

     Enoch : taken up

     Noah prepared : not seeing

     Abraham went : not knowing

     Abraham was an alien

     Sarah received : the ability to conceive

     Abraham offered his only son

     Isaac blessed

     Jacob blessed and worshipped

     Joseph gave orders concerning his bones

     Moses : hidden

     Moses : chose to be mistreated

     Moses left : without fear

     Moses kept the Passover

     Jericho : fell

     Rahab : lived

     prophets :

          conquered kingdoms

          performed acts of righteousness

          obtained promises

          shut the mouths of lions

          quenched the power of fire

          escaped the edge of the sword

          became mighty in war

          put foreign armies to flight

          received back their dead

          were tortured

          were mocked and scourged

          were chained and imprisoned

          were stoned

          were sawn in two

          were put to death by the sword

          were destitute, afflicted, ill treated

          wandered in deserts, caves and holes

All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having SEEN them from a distance, and having confessed they were strangers and exiles on this earth.  

They made it clear, by their faith, that they were seeking a country of their own.  A better country, a heavenly one.

Therefore, God was not ashamed to be called their God.

Without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He IS, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

As I continue to work through this passage, here's some of what's running through my heart:

All I ever want to talk about is the power to shut the mouths of lions.  To quench the power of fire.  To obtain promises.  I want to have faith in Him to do those great things, to manifest those great victories through me.  

But what about the rest?  By faith, do I rejoice in the Lord to be killed with the sword?  Destitute?  Ill treated?  Stoned?  Exiled?  Why do we think following Christ (and HE, crucified) should only offer "good" and easy things?

Do I come to God believing that HE IS?  Or do I come to God with my wish list?  Do I come to God with my set of requirements and demands for what I believe I need and want for my lovely little life, or do I come to God seeking HIM?  Just Him?  The Him that can give me back my dead...The Him that can be my God while I'm TORTURED.  

From those who shut the mouths of lions to those who were stoned, not one of them received their promises.  They didn't live in the promises.  They lived in faith that HE IS, trusting Him, and therefore they SAW what truly mattered from a distance.

Those who put armies to flight AND those who were sawn in two made it clear to everyone that they didn't care about their own heads.  That they didn't care about their own homes.  That they didn't care about their lives!  They didn't care about their lives!

They had their eyes set on a different kingdom than their own...Had their eyes set on HIS kingdom.  Which they never received on earth.  But they saw it, and lived for it.  

And He was not ashamed to be called their God.

Stacey, Stacey.  

"By Faith, Stacey...."  WHAT.  What?  

Is it obvious to everyone, to anyone, that I do not care about my own life?  Is it TRUE?  Where are you set, Stacey?  Where are you set?  Are you seeking HIS promises, or the promises of the world?

Am I a foreigner...not just in Haiti, but on this earth? Am I ready to become mighty in war?  And to offer my children?  Ready to conquer kingdoms and to be be chained and imprisoned?

MORE, am I ready to NOT CARE which or what?  

As with everything, it comes down to this:  Who is my life about?

Is it about me?  Or is it about Him?  Because if all I am is HIS, and if all I want is what HE wants, and if all I'm about is HIS glory, well...there's my faith.  Faith that whatever comes, HE IS.  Faith that whether I hold the promises, live the promises or just see them from a distance, that HE IS.  

That He not be ashamed to be called MY GOD.

By faith, _______________________(your name)....  What??

foolish enough?

***I know this post is crazy-long.  It shares some ideas that for me are proving to be crazy-transforming.  I hope it's worth the read***

For the Word of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing,

but to those who are being saved, it is the power of God.

I will destroy the wisdom of the wise

The cleverness of the clever I will set aside.

Where is the wise man?

Where is the great debater?  

Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?

The world through its wisdom did not come to know God,

so God was well-pleased through the foolishness 

of the message preached to save those who believe.

Jews ask for signs, Greeks search for wisdom;

but we preach Christ crucified,

to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness,

but to to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks,

Christ the power and wisdom of God.

Consider your calling brethren,

that there were not many wise, not many mighty, 

not many nobel according to the flesh,

but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise,

and God has chosen the weak things of the world 

to shame the things which are strong;

the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen,

the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are,

so that no man may boast before God.

By His doing you are in Christ Jesus 

who became to us wisdom from God,

and righteousness and sanctification and redemption,

so that, just as it is written,

Let Him who boasts, boast in the Lord.
1 Cor. 1:18-31

Oh my.  The Lord is deeply convicting my heart with this message.  

As we have sought, planned and worked to train men and women in the Gospel, have we often used the wisdom of this world as the method over the foolishness of the cross?

Are we producing world-wise pastors, or foolish ones--The ones that pass by money, power, position and authority to preach Christ crucified, to serve, to pour out, to boast in nothing but the Lord?


Am I a world-wise missionary or a foolish one--One that is directing and commanding those around me or one who is washing their dusty spotted feet? One with education and experience and opportunity who is always sharing and telling or one who is listening to those who cannot write their names?  One who is seeking the approval and favor of men or one who is following His example, however foolish, bizarre or ridiculous that may seem?

Am I working to disciple men and women and children-- not just at school, but at home and in the community--in the foolishness of the cross, the power of God?  


If God is choosing the weak thing, the base things, the despised things... am I?  

It's so easy to just go with what "makes sense!"  It makes sense to expand, go bigger, go better.  It makes sense to get better things, to pursue more titles, to "improve".  It makes sense to do whatever you can to be favored and "wise", right?  There might not even be anything wrong with these things, depending on the motivation, I suppose.

And besides, who wants to be seen as foolish?  We all spend so much of our time wanting and trying to be seen as impressive, as accomplished, as important...as people other people want to be like and around.  


But it is through the foolishness of the message preached that we are saved...that the God of the heavens would come as a human baby and innocent, be killed for my sin, while I was still His enemy, 2000 years later.  


Consider your calling, Stacey!  God has chosen the foolish, weak, base and despised things of the world to shame the wise and strong.  What are you choosing?  When you're looking for the "best", what standards are you using?  World-best? or His?


And why has He chosen these things?  That no one should boast.  That I shouldn't feel good about ANYTHING that is within me that is not Him.  That I have nothing to be proud of except for my God and God in others.  That I have nothing to congratulate myself with other than what He has done.


That I might boast only in the Lord.


Is it foolish and ridiculous to turn the other cheek when someone slaps us? Insane to give someone who takes our coat our shirt, too?  Reckless to give away 10 or 20 or 50% of our income when we desperately need it ourselves?  Crazy to love the grouchy lady at Wal-Mart more than ourselves?    


Is it irrational to not defend ourselves when we know the other person is wrong?  Daft to speak the truth in love when it'd be far easier to keep our head down? Completely idiotic to forgive our enemies?  


Imprudent to share the Gospel with a friend that we know will think we're nuts?  Irresponsible to give Him our children, our marriages, our concerns and ourselves instead of laying awake worrying or taking things into our own hands?  Ludicrous to stay with your spouse when their list of wrongs is unending?


"Choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin"  Heb. 11:25...like Moses?


Choosing prison instead of a great offer... like Joseph?


Choosing certain death over infidelity to God...like Shadrach?


"All who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" 2 Tim. 3:12...like Paul?


Willingly laying down our lives for others...like Christ?




Read that passage again with me...use it as a lens for our hearts, our lives, our work...help me to pray and to be bold to choose and to pursue that which furthers HIS doing, however foolish it feels, whatever it means.