the SHARE standard

She's about 17 months, so it's probably pretty normal.  Sharing and Sofia are not good friends.  If we have two of something (or better yet, five!) then there is no problem.  But when there is one baby doll, one umbrella, one sippy cup, one black crayon...we're in trouble.  

If she wants it, and if she doesn't get it (or if Mommy takes it) we have full out melt-downs, throwing herself on the floor, alligator tears, shrieking...the works.

Knowing this to be normal, but wanting to make sure we are doing all we can to teach Sofie to be generous and ready to share (1 Tim. 6:18), I hit the internet a few nights ago, looking for good suggestions, tips and counsel. 

I found lots of good support and practical tips, but one of the major defenses I came across several times was SHOCKING to me.  In a nutshell, here it is:

"As adults, teaching a child to share against their will is making us hypocrites.  We do not share our toys, our phones, our cars, our wallets, our food with strangers, or even with friends! Why should we force our children to share their property when WE don't?  Eventually, our children will learn that no one wants to play with them because they are mean, and then they will choose to share if they want to.

Even if another child shares with our children, that does not in any way mean that our children must share.  Let's teach our children to be a part of the real world without crazy expectations on them, and if they won't be required to share when they grow up, why should they be required to share now?"

Welcome to modern parenting, I suppose.

But I can't get the argument out of my mind, because of course, while I realize this may well all be REALITY, there is something inherently WRONG here.

Shocker: the world today does not live according to the live-giving message of Scripture.  We don't even offer it to our babies.

I suppose it IS partly true.  We should not have any expectations for our babies that we do not have for ourselves.  We're not going to succeed trying to teach our children things that we ourselves do not do.

Therein lies the bigger problem...Why AREN'T we sharing our toys, our phones, our cars, our wallets, our food with strangers...with friends?  Is the standard for the world today to be selfish, clutchy, 17 month old BRATS?

When I see Sofie behave like this, kicking and screaming over a bead necklace (which I would debate has as much value before the Lord as a car or $100 bill) I feel SAD.  This is not the life God has for her.  It is not as it should be.  There is no joy in it for her, for Him or for anyone else.  

But when I realize that this is same expectation that much of the world has for our own behavior, I feel devastated.  

He didn't just give us His Word because obeying it brings HIM glory.  Didn't just give it to us because it's good for OTHERS.  He also gave us His instruction because it is BEST for us, and instead we're settling for toddler desires and behavior.

What does the BIBLE say about sharing?

Do good.  Be rich in good works.  Be generous and ready to share.  (1 Timothy 6:18)

Do not neglect to do good and share what you have, as it is pleasing to Him.  (Hebrews 13:16)

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.  (Luke 6:38)

To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. (Luke 6: 29)

My take-away:

Before I balk at the world's argument, I'm trying instead to examine myself...

Am I sharing MY toys? Do I act like my stuff is MINE, or His?  Am I free with His car, His toys, His wallet, His food, His house, or do I clutch at them as selfishly (though not as obviously) as Sofie?  When it's given (or taken), do I allow it but internally throw a fit?  Sob a little over my loss?  Hold on tighter next time?  

The Bible's instruction for me must be my instruction for Sofie.  The Bible's standard for us has to be the standard I'm working towards in Sofie's life...but also in my OWN.  Because I LOVE her.  Because He loves me.  And I KNOW He KNOWS what is best.

This "share standard" may be the standard of the world, but it's not OURS.  

Let's be His kids today, looking different, playing different, giving different. There is a better life available for us than that which ti-Sofie, and much of the population, are stingily living...

...one, as Luke 6: 38 says, that is running over!

His touch

When I woke up this morning after an almost completely sleepless night, my throat still painfully sore, school for Lily in 40 minutes and for myself in 50, and pulled a screaming Sofie from her crib only to find her burning, still burning to the touch...

i didn't think I could do it.  The day.  The morning.  Anything.  

I had prayed all night, ALL night, over and over, for His healing touch.  

Clearly He hadn't touched her at ALL.  What was I going to do?

A quick check on my email came more frightening news from Sofie's pediatrician in Jersey.  "This is when she needs to get to a doctor.  GO."

I got Lily off, set up my class, and tearily ran home and got a completely lethargic Sofie and headed for Dr. Rodney.  Having blood drawn barely stirred her, she kept falling in and out of fitful sleep.  She was SO hot.  

As we waited for results, I carried her back and forth throughout the clinic yard, past women whose limbs were as horrifically thin as Sofie's...children just as sick...lots of obvious signs of AIDS, Tuberculosis...misery.   

And as I prayed, I found myself asking God in my weariness...

Aren't YOU scared?

My silent question seemed to ring out throughout the coughing, wheezing yard.  

errrr....No.  No, I guess you're not.  

You're not scared, are you?  Because You know the future.  

You know You've got it, huh.  

You have no reason to be scared, because You are GOD.


Then why are YOU scared? I felt Him ask me right back. 

Because You DON'T know I've got it?  Because you DON'T know I'm God?


I felt suddenly foolish.  Why WAS I scared?  

The answer was obvious.  

Because I didn't trust Him.  


Sure, I trusted Him with Sofie, but only for MY result.  And without a guarantee on that result...I was afraid.

Suddenly I felt the sunny yard full of skinny and sick and staring people become a holy place of honesty.  Of truth.  Of shame.

I realized that all the days I'd been raising my hands up confessing trust and confidence in Him were promised in light of things going MY way...in light of health and sunshine when the rubber really hit the road.  

The ground felt holy...and I did not.  I'll forever be grateful for the simple but clear way my true heart was exposed through this, and for the touch of His forgiveness and the gift of faith.  I gave Him Sofie, AGAIN, truly.  

The same lesson I learned just days ago for Lily applied again:  We are not our own, but HIS, and as such, have N-O-T-H-I-N-G to fear.

Even where there's no ER.  

He wasn't scared because He was God.  
I wasn't scared for the same reason.

Rodney called us in, went through a slew of issues she might have, settled on Dengue Fever, gave me a pill bottle with the label ripped off full of pink syrup, and told me what to watch carefully for.  

He was super busy, there were another hundred people to see, but as I reached out to thank him, he put his hands, instead, on Sofie, and plummeted into prayer, thanking God for her life and asking Him to heal her, for His glory.

We brought her home, gave her 'the pink stuff' (talk about trust), and a student was at the door, wanting to pray for us before heading home for the weekend.  

He came in, started to pray over our weary selves, and put his hands on our shoulders, praying for God's presence and God's peace in our lives and home.

We got through the afternoon, and suddenly, Sofie wanted down (for the first time in DAYS), and there she was on the sidewalk, picking up little rocks and toddling around the yard...a complete miracle after being completely unable to do so the past four days, just a few hours earlier.  

And at dinner, she ate 3 noodles and 2 carrots, more than she's eaten in days.

And after dinner, we decided to do her VERY favorite thing, ride around the campus slowly on the bike.  She grinned and squealed, and hearing her joy mixed with the laughter of the students as they played ball, seeing the sun setting on the glorious mountains around us, I felt His touch.

The one I had prayed for, and the one He had sent...
His touch on my heart in the yard, Rodney's hands on Sofie's back, Frantz's grip on my shoulder, Sofie's little hand in mine as we fed the goats.  

 

His touch is the miracle, isn't it.

On our bodies, yes.  But on our hearts...that's the place where the Promises are kept--where the peace comes, where the joy dwells, where the trust is faithful--despite circumstances.

 Despite me.

birthday weekend!

We had a GREAT weekend, celebrating old friendships, good memories and new beginnings!

First, Lily and I had a great afternoon catching up with old friends Molly and TK...it was so good to reunite with friends I haven't seen for years only to find them loving the Lord, loving their husbands, and working to further His kingdom...what a gift and joy, and to remember all over again why we were friends!

Lily took this picture!  my future blogger :)

Then yesterday we had what would have been the best day of Sofie's life, if her dad had been there.  Grandpa, Uncle Adam, Aunt Lisa, Lily, Sofie and I had just a GREAT great day at the zoo.  Sofie adored the animals, and was particularly enamored at the monkeys, all of whom she grabbed for and cat-called.

She also mastered going down slides by herself, rode the carousel, and ate cotton candy.  She and Lily were in great moods all day and we spent seven hours there, until after the zoo even closed, which we never thought possible with two so little, especially after an early morning at church!

SO, if you don't mind indulging me for a second, I want to share Sofie's big day with you (and with her Daddy, who missed it) and a bit about who she is so far.  Just the pictures I caught today show her personality.

o-r-n-e-r-y.  

or, for a British friend who wasn't familiar with 'ornery', she's cheeky :)

Sofie will walk like a champ all over the room.  But she's 10 times happier if she's holding your finger.  And she's 10 times happier still if she's holding Lily's.  She wants to be and do wherever/whatever her sister is doing, 100 percent of the time.

Just like Lily (above), Sofie wasnt' crazy about the hat.

Everything she touches is for her mouth.  Everything.

and then literally one second later.  

This is Sofia.  And she can cry if she wants to.

and then she will be happy again.

 and then she will cry again.

She is curious, and VERY serious when she sees or does something new.

Which, when she's tired or teething, means she cries, too.

 

That is, until she tastes sugar.  Here, her very first taste of cake!  (this week)

Then, she's in heaven.  And loudly says, "MMMMM! MMMMM!" through the rest of her piece.

Just like she does when she looks at a book or magazine, just like Lily did.

She also LOVES to share food, and always wants to put whatever she is eating in your mouth, too.

She and Lily have these little moments a few times a day that just WARM my heart...just a little, "It's ok!" or "Happy Birthday", or "Good Morning," or just a kiss.  It's SO great.

Aunt Lisa and Uncle Adam got her this singing doggie, and she LOVES it.  She would NOT put it down the rest of the day.  Her new thing is "kiss-kiss", and everytime you say it, she kisses whoever is in front of her :)

By now, she was just exhausted...and we weren't getting anymore smiles...until we busted out Mommy and Poppy's gift.

Any toy called "hit and hammer" seemed perfect for our bruiser.

Friends from Haiti say that if we never have a boy, Sofie could suffice :)

But still with a grip on doggie.

So happy, so good, so....

done.

Put her in her swing with her doggie, and that was IT.

Plays hard, feels hard...sleeps hard :)

While she slept, big sister cleaned up all the b-day balloons, always taking care of Sof.

And after that nap, she was good to go again.  And that is Sofie.  

She's bold, full of life, social, and she may be off running and she might give us NO rest, but she loves so fiercely that we can't wait to watch her life unfold within a fiercely loving Father's hands.

birthday

How is it even possible?