the miracle of Pehpay

A week or two ago, I wrote about the first two converts in Sakanville that Emmaus Biblical Seminary has seen. One of them was an older gentleman on his death bed...

Pehpay and Belony, April 28th

His smile stretched from ear to ear and his hands were literally shaking with excitement as he lifted the paper for me to see. On it were scrawled two names.

"This man," Belony pointed, "He is sick. He is very very sick. And we talked to him about the Lord, and he said, 'I want that.' And I said, 'Oh, you cannot become a Christian just so that maybe God will heal you! You must become a Christian because you want Jesus to be the Lord of your life!"

"And I explained more to him, " Belony continued, "And he began to cry and cry, and I said to him, 'Are you crying because you do not want to die?', and the man said, 'No, I do not care if I die. I am sad because I have wasted my life without Him. I am sad that I waited until now. I am sad that I might only serve Him but a few days.'"

Then, last week, I shared about our visit to him, and how burdened and thoughtful I felt in regards to healing and the hopelessness of his situation...

Just this past week...my heart is busy pondering it all. Belony, Charitable and I visited a man Wednesday that was one of the the two first converts on Tuesday. They had told me his was sick, but...he is SICK. We trudged through mud and open sewage to arrive at his "house." A shriveled ancient-looking woman with kind eyes introduced herself as Marie-Claire, his sister, over a steaming pot of mush. She led us inside a hut built from woven palms once covered in hard mud, now crumbled and patchy.

A Haitian hernia operation gone bad had left Pehpay bedridden. The hut wreaked of urine as we huddled around him, and I fought back tears as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. He had once been clearly a tall, very able man, with huge feet, huge hands, a broad jaw and broad shoulders. Today, his stomach was hugely bloated, his biceps and forearms so shrunken that his elbows were by far the largest part of his arms. He wheezed as he shared his story, and tears followed deep paths in his face as he reconfirmed his new salvation.

"Do you believe completely that He is your Lord?" Yes. "Do you believe completely that He can heal you?" Yes. "Do you want to be healed?" Yes. And then we prayed for him for a long time, and as I held his hand and prayed, my mind and heart were just swimming with Bible stories of healing, testimonies of healing, all my life's questions of healing and what it looks like and how it works and when it comes and how...

I kissed his weathered cheek and we headed back to the campus, now silent. We could hear his haggard coughing persist as we walked on.

Well, yesterday was Matt's turn to go out with the students while I stayed home with Lily. On their way home from a Bible study down the road, they popped in to visit this gentleman, known around the community as Pehpay. Around the time they should return, Belony came running across the yard to our house (Matt had a meeting at 3), just bounding and grinning. I knew something exciting had happened, but hadn't thought it would have anything to do with Pehpay.

"Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord!" Belo rejoiced, waving his hands in the air and twitching from excitement. "Pehpay, who could not speak the first week, and who could not sit up the next week, whom we all but lifted to a sitting position, got out of bed and stood up, BY himself, today!"

I hate to tell you that I didn't even believe him, thinking we must be talking about a different person. "The old guy with the hernia operation, that is dying? Marie-Claire's brother? The guy we prayed for that couldn't breathe and couldn't sit up?"

"YES!" Belony all but shouted. "PEHPAY! We went to pray for him on our way home, and when we came in, he was saying, "Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord!" and I said, 'Yes, let's praise the Lord that He has saved you!' and Pehpay said, 'Yes, because He has saved me, but look, He is healing me!'"

Then Pehpay sat up, on his own (which I swear to you, would absolutely not have been possible just a week ago...it took all three of us ALL our might to make him sit up), threw his legs over the bed, and stood, all on his own, and began praising the Lord again!

Even hearing it and knowing it to be true if Belony says it is true, it is very hard for me to believe. Matt's got Lily this afternoon so I can go and see him. That day I blogged about healing, I was feeling so broken and despairing over Pehpay and sickness in general...and just a week or so later, I have the joyful and humbling gift of telling you of a man, newly our brother, who now is standing, for the first time in over six months...

Can't wait to see him, to tell you more, and to share his God, my God, the God that truly sees, with more of His creation this afternoon!

this is BIG

Today was a BIG day. It didn't start big. We planned to go to church right across the street. Matt didn't have to preach. We didn't have any visitors to translate for. A few friends were coming for lunch. "Bless us with your sweet presence" I had prayed this morning, wanting nothing else.

By His grace, He gave us that, and much more.

As we walked up to the church, I saw Frandia standing outside. She was the "first" convert I have spoken of frequently, and for weeks as Belony and I have opened the Word to her, we've talked to her about going to church. We've spoken to her about the importance, especially as one who lives entirely in a non-Christian household, about spending time worshiping the Lord with other believers. But each week, she has had a reason why church wasn't for her.

But this morning she was outside, scraping mud off her shoes, and though she looked quite uncomfortable and was wearing a rather failed-attempt at appropriate church clothing, she was THERE, and she and I both broke into a big grin at the sight of each other.

"Lord, this is big!" I prayed silently as we walked in together.

After some opening announcements, Abel stood to introduce any visitors, but said that this week there were two new Christians to introduce. "Joseph" Abel nodded, and a few pews over Joseph stood, a previous gate guard for EBS. A man who had spent his life in a Catholic / Voodoo mix of religion, this past Tuesday he came and found pastor Janiel, saying, "Today is the day. I want to be a Christian. Tell me how."

It was all I could do to keep from clapping my hands in joy, when Abel introduced the second, who sat right in front of us. We could tell he was young, but then he turned around, and we recognized him immediately. Remember the day when several young men from Sakanville stood outside the gate, behaving quite badly? And Matt prayed that one of these Saul's would one day be a Paul?

Kenson was in front of them, throwing rocks and spouting off mouthy responses to each word of peace Matt spoke. "With so much energy and passion and intelligence, Stacey, these men could do BRILLIANCE unto the Lord. We have to keep praying," Matt had told me.

This morning, in front of all of his peers and neighbors, Kenson stood. "I am a Christian now," he said strong and slow. THIS IS BIG.

We were floored. Making an announcement like that here is not the same as it might be in the States. He won't drive 30 minutes home and not see any of these people until next Sunday. They will see his every moment, hear his every speech, watch his every move. He pronounced to Sakanville this morning that he has died, and been born again a new person, and 100 people will be holding him accountable.

Beside him sat three other young men, all in jeans and t-shirts. This completely unacceptable dress for church in Haiti was entirely ignored by the whole church, who welcomed these men the same as everyone else, and I breathed another silent prayer..."LORD, THANK YOU." They were friends of Kenson's, that he had brought with him.

"Don't you want to become Christians today?" Abel asked them. "Not yet," they each said, but Matt whispered hope next to me. "If this is real, Kenson will bring them to the Lord." (After the service, Matt and Kenson had a long talk, and Matt quickly saw that all of the attitude, hatred and bitterness formerly possessing Kenson have been entirely replaced with a quiet joy.)

Pastor Janiel announced that every night this week there will be services, calling this week a "Week of Revival"...please be praying for these, starting tonight through next Sunday, from 5-7 pm. Pictures to come.

Overwhelmed by the miracles around me, the service began, but it wasn't until the end that that they brought me to tears. Right at the very end of the two hour service, and old man stood from the old-man-row, and picked up a stick and headed out the door.

It was Pehpay.

He met my eye and grinned, holding our hands for a moment in joy before heading home.

Pehpay should be dead. DO YOU HEAR ME? I was THERE. I held his dying hand. Pehpay lived his whole life in darkness. Pehpay should be at the beginning of an eternity of death, darkness and HELL. Pehpay should be dead.

Instead, Pehpay has been given NEW life in every way imaginable. He walked 6 blocks, by himself, to church this morning. He is just at the beginning of an eternity of glory, of love, and of sweet communion with his new found Father. Pehpay is ALIVE.

IT IS A MIRACLE, friends. Miracles, all of it. I saw 5 miracles this morning, family, with my own eyes. I was THERE. Family, I'll never have anything more sweet to share with you than this. I was THERE today, and so were YOU.

Dan and Gill, Gord and Doreen, all that you did down here to build the Seminary and His kingdom, you played a part in the bigness of today. Sam and Cammie, all the hours you spent pouring Jesus into these brothers and sisters, Christ in you did BIG things today. Have you prayed for Sakenville? Given 1$ to build a seminary in its midst? Come on a team? Prayed for Haiti? Prayed for us? YOU were there today. Christ in you, the hope of glory for Sakanville.

In this little block church in a little quiet community on a little distant island, God's doing the same thing He did for me. Called me to Him, took on my sins, and exchanged my spirit of death for a beautiful spirit of LIFE. As steadily as He's changing me, He's changing Sakanville, and doing what He does best....the impossible.

Glwa a Dye...Glory to God

testimony

It was as sweet a moment as I had thought it would be.

Belony and Pehpay walked in a few minutes late, holding hands, and everyone could see that Pehpay had worked hard to look as nice as possible. His pants must have been 3 sizes too big, but a belt bunched and held them up, and they had been carefully pressed, as had his faded shirt.

They walked hand in hand down the aisle, both of them beaming, and all the guys got quiet.

"This is him!" Belony said joyfully, and everyone knew we were standing on holy ground. Not because of anything special about the grinning old man before them, but because of what Christ had done in his life. Pehpay never went to school. "Not a day" he told me, and has spent his entire existence here in the little muddy community of Sakenville.

And yet it was with rapture that this most educated group of brothers and sisters listened, all sitting forward on our pews to catch every word.

"I was all but dead..." Pehpay began, and slowly and boldly shared his story with the pastors, evangelists, missionaries and teachers around him. He showed them how big his stomach was, talked about what dying had been like, talked about living his life in darkness.

"But God met me, and then He healed me, and I will love Him forever, no doubt. I will love Him forever" he swore with a child-like faith, clear eyes, and a huge, almost toothless grin.

"God preserved my life, but you know, I am still going to die one of these days. But because of what Belony told me about Jesus, I will have eternal life now! So, it is all ok. I will love Him forever!" he said again, and then Belony led his "little brother", back down the aisle to a beautiful chorus of applause...not for Pehpay, for he had done nothing. And not for Belony, because his hand had done no miracle, his sacrifice had saved no one from their sins.

No, once again the chapel was filled with beautiful applause of praise, praise for a God who continues to surprise His children by His great love, His great power, and by His great mercy. I'm so thankful we have all of eternity to applaud who He is...with Pehpay.

It is the season of the mango, and the trees are heavy with them. If you pick them, they never ripen, rotting where you place them. But if you wait until they fall, they are perfect...sweet, warm from the sun, dripping with vitamins and nutrients. Matt would say, "That could preach."

These days they are falling by the dozens, much to the delight of everyone, blessed for once with truly free food. All the kiddos (and several of the students :) have orange around their mouths continually, and Lily is quiet happy to join them.

The revival services have been going really well, with two or three people committing or re-committing their lives to Christ each evening. Matt's played bass and few evenings, and Lily and I go until she can't keep her eyes open. Sunday evening there is a large final service. Please pray that the Lord will continue to move...

"Jesus."

This morning I was in our office grading papers and Belony came in and plopped down in Matt's chair.

"I have been looking for you! I have to tell you!" and then he began to rub at his eyes, and I realized that dynamic, power-preaching, strong, energetic Belony was crying.

Tears immediately sprung to my eyes, just overwhelmed by his totally uncharacteristic display of sober emotion.

"What happened??" I asked quietly, bracing myself for the worst.

"This past Friday night, I stayed here until Saturday morning, so that I could go to town on Saturday morning to study English with Miss Kate. So I was waiting, down the street, Saturday morning for a bus or truck to come by so I could get a ride. And I was standing across from Pehpay's house, you know, at the big tree."

"YEAH..."

"And there were a whole bunch of people already waiting there for a bus to come, all of us under the shade. Many of the people were talking and pointing at Pehpay's house when I approached. Once I stood next to them, I looked to see what they were pointing at, and I saw Pehpay."

"I saw him walking, Stacey, walking down the lane slowly, by himself," he started furiously rubbing at his eyes again.

"And someone in the crowd said, 'Who IS that? That can't be Pehpay.' And I was just silent in the crowd and listened."

"'Yes!' someone said. 'That IS Pehpay.'

'The lame guy? That is really sick and about to die?'

'Yeah, that guy that was about to die.'

'How can that be?'

'I heard that he converted in Jesus Christ.'"

Happy tears now flowed freely down Belony's face, and I could picture his heart pounding as he listened in the crowd that day.

"'He converted and now he is not dying?'

'I don't know, I guess not, I mean, look!'"

"Stacey, I only said one thing," Belony told me. "I said in the crowd, 'Wow! So who healed that guy?'"

"And do you know what they said?"

"Jesus. Jesus healed that guy. He was dying, and he was lame, but now he is walking, and he is alive."

We smiled at each other like fools, tears unashamed wetting both our faces, and felt like we were in the Bible, and I thought, like SO many of you have commented..."I needed to hear that."

giving, pants and what burning charcoal might look like...

Ah.

Every time I think the dust has settled on my "burden balance"...that I "get it"...that I've found that place between this culture, my culture, and HIS culture to dwell... that I understand or have seen it enough or thought it all through...I have a today.

Matt watched Lil so Belony and I could go out right after lunch. We stopped in to see Pehpay first today, and he is doing SO well. We talked about where he is in the Bible, how he's feeling, what his days are like, and when he's going to be a guest speaker in chapel (next week! should be AWESOME).

The almost toothless smile and his beautiful spirit...ah, just bring me such joy! His crumbling little shack has become a little hut of hope, and the dirt and holes and smells and clutter and poverty that were so heart-wrenching the first week have truly faded in light of his new walk with the Lord!

However, I was greatly humbled by Belony. A few days ago, I noticed that he clearly had a burden on his mind. I probed gently at the source, but he continually hesitated, finally just asking that I pray for his family. I promised that I would, but after a few days, still felt burdened about it. The Hubele's had left us some money, and when I came across the envelope, I felt strongly that some should go to Belony's family for whatever this problem was.

After giving him the envelope, he was deeply touched, because his family is struggling greatly right now financially. Yet as we started to leave Pehpay's little hut today, Belony pressed a wad of crumpled bills into Pehpay's hand, knowing that he needed it desperately too, though Pehpay has never asked.

I have so much and yet so often give so stingily of my finances, my time, my money, my gifts, my friendship, my love. My giving here has never set us back...we have so much more than everyone we live with, it would be almost impossible NOT to give. If you had 25 bags of McDonald's in your car, and saw a homeless man on the street, it would be nothing to give him a burger.

But to see one brother sacrificially (in a way I don't even begin to understand or know) give to another brother, to see a man with just one french fry to live on give it joyfully to his brother...

Tears stung my eyes as we continued on and I tried to process this act of selfless pure love.

No time. We talked to each person we passed, one woman telling us that she would "become a Christian one day when she finally quit smoking" (???) and another that didn't want to follow Christ, but did want us to ask Christ to give her more money and food and to solve their problems.

In a moment we had arrived in the little yard, surrounded by cacti, where Belo meets with new believers to study the Bible. Only Frandlee was there today, and has been faithfully there since becoming a Christian (she was the first one) several weeks ago. After several weeks of setting good foundation, today Belony began to talk with her about living "set apart" and about what "repentance" looks like..."turning a different direction."

As he began to share with her from Romans, a rather rough looking group of men, one woman and several children began making a lot of noise from another house in the yard. In a few moments, something I couldn't see happened, and the tallest and angriest man began beating a small boy that seemed to be his son.

The boy was screaming, the man kept beating him in the side of his face, and the mother and neighbors didn't blink. No interest, no involvement, no emotion, no change. I felt instantly sick and anxious, and looked at Belony. He met my eyes, and pointed me back to the Bible on Frandlee's lap. Focus on what we CAN do, he seemed to be saying.

He continued to try to speak to her over the noise, and I tried to focus, but found it impossible, praying for wisdom and courage about how I could intervene. I couldn't even breathe, while everyone around me, buses charging by, men playing dominoes, children laughing at the withering boy, continued. An instant before I could stand it no longer and jumped between the livid man and crouching boy, the man threw down his fists in disgust and walked away, flopping down on the porch and glaring hatefully at me? belony? life?

In this atmosphere Belony persevered, and I realized really for the first time what Frandlee was facing. No mother (left them when she was 3), no father (he lives an hour away and does not provide nor is involved with her.) NO Christians in the house or in this yard community of houses. No Christian friends. No Christian family. Almost no safe or moral ways to provide for her existence. No one looking out for her.

I looked again at Hateful Man, and then at Frandlee, and shuttered. The men and women that sneer and jest and slur at Belony and I are the men and women living with Frandlee. And she has chosen to follow Christ. What a HUGE commitment. Even to sit for an hour and study the Bible in the middle of such tension, such darkness, such sadness. To be SEEN with "Pastor and the Missionary".

"We have to be in the world, Frandlee, but not OF it!" Belony encouraged her, while my mind whirred. "You might live here, but you must be set apart. This might be a very dark place, but you must be a light! The things you did before? The things you are seeing everyone do? You must not do them..you must be set apart. The Scripture will tell you how to live! Let's look here...and here...."

As he spoke to her about Biblical standards, I heard them applied to a set of cultural norms that varied greatly from those in mine.

"Frandlee, you cannot prostitute yourself for some money, for some food. You must live differently than the rest of the world. You must trust the Lord for your food. He will provide for you!"

"Frandlee, you cannot wear pants any longer!" (now before you say, "WHAT?" let me continue.) Belony explained to me on the way home, "It is NOT because the act of wearing pants is a sin. Of course not. It is no sin to wear pants. But here, in this culture, women have been wearing pants for years as a sign that they are available for pay. Now, more women wear them, and they are NOT all necessarily prostituting, but they ARE still synonymous with trying to attract men sexually. Frandlee cannot be set apart, be a light in her community, be holy as He is holy, in this culture, while representing to all that she is trying to sexually attract men." (For the first time, I really got why I'm in a skirt everyday.)

"Frandlee, you can't have a boyfriend who is not a believer! You cannot seek the Lord and hold these standards for yourself, and yet spend all your time and conversation and money and love with someone that does not love your Lord. He will pull you away. Just as a pile of burning charcoal will burn for hours, but if one is pulled out, it sputters and dies. You must date burning charcoal! Your boyfriend must be one who helps you burn for Christ, not one who pulls you away from Him."

"Frandlee, do you know what one of the hardest things is? You must forgive. The Bible says clearly that if we do NOT forgive our brother, our Father in Heaven cannot forgive us. No matter what anyone has done to you, we have to forgive, because He has forgiven us. Can you forgive?"

"All but one," she said firmly. "Not this one."

"Ah, Frandlee, but you must," Belony said, love brimming over in each admonishment. "We will pray for that."

As Belony went through several other things, I asked myself the same questions. I thought about my culture. I thought about MY standards. I thought about Belony, and if he saw me in the States, if he would think I looked or lived any differently than anyone else. Sure, my heart might be radically different for Christ, but what about my LIFE. What about my dress? What about my hobbies? Habits? Speech? Friends? Schedule? Job? Spending?

I realized today that I spent most of my life in the States trying very hard NOT to look much different. My HEART was for Christ, wasn't that enough? He knew I loved Him! Couldn't I blend?

What would a totally set apart person even LOOK like in the States? What should I even look like? If I'm representing HIM -- not "Christian Stacey" or "Good" or "Traditional" -- everywhere I go, Haiti, US, wherever, what should that look like?

THIS was the peace I found, the peace I overjoyingly shared with Frandlee as I was almost beginning to despair for her almost seemingly impossible situation...HE WILL MAKE IT POSSIBLE.

If His strength is made great in our weakness, if He calls us to be Holy as He is Holy, if He is faithful even when we are not, if He promises to draw near to us if we will only draw near to Him...Then HE will help Frandlee be human-impossibly set apart. Then He will help her be light and find other lights and rely on Him for her food and to stand firm under persecution.

Not a thing has He asked us to do or be that He cannot do or be in us...that He will not help us to do. I'm still working all this through, but tonight, this is truly abandoned and trusting prayer:

Search me, O God, and know my heart

Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

See if there is any hurtful way in me,

and Lead me instead in your everlasting Way.

psalm 139

Goodbyes....again

Ah, life always seems to be full of so many good-byes! This one was a hard one, as we, all in tears, saw the Hubele family off on Tuesday. This was the seventh year that they have come to Haiti during the off-season on the farm, and as soon as the Haitian sun begins to burn, everyone knows the fields are thawing in Illinois. Lily was so convinced that Zo-zo-phine and Jacob were her siblings, and that the house next door was as much a place for love and happiness and wonder as her own.

Besides the beautiful friendship they provided, John and Rachelle were incredibly helpful to us personally and to Emmaus Biblical Seminary, carrying out dozens of energy saving steps, fixing ovens, stoves, hot water heaters, beds, computers, generators, water pumps, tutoring students, helping to feed and house visiting professors, sharing errands and trips to the airport with us, watching Lily, feeding Shay, praying with us...

So thankful for this family that God gave us, and for the intimate way we have been able to become in true Christian community with them these past months. Please be praying with us for their transition, and for ours!
We also saw Paul and Kathleen off today, and are so thankful for the precious time that we had with them and that they had with the students and staff here. So grateful for Cornerstone Church, for their sacrifice in sending their pastor for two weeks, and for the many beautiful ways they continue to "hold our ropes".

I know you're probably growing tired of hearing about Pehpay, but today Belo and I led a weekly Bible study down the road, and stopped at Pehpay's house on the way home. When we entered the house, he was laying on the bed, and it was as if, for a moment, nothing had ever changed since that first week we prayed for him.

But as soon as he saw us, he threw his skinny legs over the bed and popped up. It was like the miracle happened again before my eyes.

"Hey! Pehpay!" we said, and he grinned from ear to ear. "I hear you can walk!?" I said, and he grinned, "Oh yes, don't you want to see?"

In an instant he popped off the bed and trotted right out the door of the mud hut and traipsed about the small dirt yard, waving his hands and grinning while Belony and I laughed out loud. I cannot WAIT to get to heaven, just from the small taste of it I experienced today...

Only One

And I am sick.  Again.  Sinus infection/virus/something.  Can I get a "you have GOT to be kidding me!"?

But, by His grace, I still have a story to tell, so bear with me if it's jumbly as my brain.

As we walked into church on Sunday, scraping the mud off our shoes on the front step, we noticed that Louis was sitting in the old man section.

Much like churches in the States, everybody's got their bench in church.  

Unlike church in the States, our Haitian friends don't sit together in family units, but split off into age groups.  Old women at the front, mothers in the middle, old men in the back.  Other side: children in the front, young men in the middle, teenagers in the back (well, that part might be like church in the States :).

Most churches, the very obvious "fathers" category is void.  The men work, sit and play dominoes, sit and talk.  The women and children and old people go to church.

But this Sunday, Louis, who is not yet an old man--but might as well be due to his handicap--was sitting in the back with the other old men for the first time.  Probably EVER. 

I see him almost everyday, sitting on the front porch of his house across the street.  Always sitting.  Most often, alone.  

A motorcycle accident a few years ago broke his right foot, which eventually repaired.  But last year, a tap-tap accident that claimed the life of several smashed his right foot and leg to smithereens, and despite a few surgeries and all we could do to help, his leg is now healed, but huge, disfigured, crooked and useless.

A few months ago, Cammie spoke to Louis about Jesus, whom Louis knew about from his Catholic background, but had never really been interested in.  A few weeks later, Junior shared the whole Gospel with him, and everyone was surprised and excited when he accepted.  

He testified back to Junior that he figured if anyone had saved his life, it had been the Lord, and the least he could do was follow Him.  Maybe Jesus didn't mind that he was of no use.  Didn't mind if he could only follow in his heart.

But that was a while ago, so when we walked into church and saw him sitting there, next to Pehpay, a cane leaning against the bench, we were excited.  Signs of fruit.  Signs of sincerity.

Abel rather loudly (well, everything is rather loudly with Abel :) announced Louis' presence to everyone, introduced him as Brother, and asked if Louis wanted to say anything.

Surprised again, we listened as Louis pulled himself up and shared his simple testimony again: he had grown up in the Catholic church, God had saved him, he believed for a purpose, and now he wanted to follow Jesus, praise the Lord.

Everyone was very pleased to welcome him as a part of Our Family, and when the service was over, Matt greeted him and invited him to come to chapel services at the Seminary any time he wanted.  Pehpay comes almost every service, and Louis could walk with Pehpay.

Louis seemed interested, and we went home touched.

The very next day, I was home with the girls by the time chapel rolled around, but Matt went to the service a few moments late and was pleasantly surprised to see Louis sitting near the back.  He sat behind him and welcomed him, and then a few minutes later felt very moved to run home and grab Louis a Bible and a hymnal.  When he slid back into his bench in the middle of a chorus, he saw that Louis's shoulders were shaking.  

Matt scooted down a bit and realized that Louis was indeed bawling, attempting to sing, cry and cover his face at the same time.  

In this culture, much like American culture, I suppose, people will go to all lengths to avoid shame.  Public shame, all the more.  

You can't make people be moved.  You definitely can't make men bawl.  

Only One can, and when you witness that...when you witness what only the Spirit can do? That's powerful.

We don't know what the Spirit was touching.  We don't have to.  Matt was in tears himself, watching the Spirit at work in Louis.  

Super thankful, today, that the Spirit is at work.  Super thankful He does what we can't.  Super thankful we're not responsible to convict the heart of man, to sanctify, to atone or to redeem.  Super thankful (though sometimes I wish I could!) I cannot right what is wrong, purify what is impure, make holy what is unholy.  

Only One can, and I'm super thankful to witness it, in my own life and in the lives of others...in the life of Louis.

10 really good things.

Since I'm never going to find the time to write real posts about these great things, I'm going to just sum 'em up!


1)  Last night, Sofie slept through the night for the very first time.  Last night, I slept through the night for the very first time in over 8 months.  8 weeks for Lily, 8 months for Sofie.  Really, really good.


2)  After over a year of praying for and thinking about and trying to help the struggling church here in Saccanville, we are overjoyed that the Lord spoke to Junior about it.  When the Lord puts something on Junior's heart, he gives his all, and that seems to be contagious.

Now, there are four students and a staff member teaching Bible studies, teaching Sunday School, and leading the youth group...and this morning, seeing everyone do their thing and seeing the church excited about the Word and FULL (major change!) was REALLY great.  The students are excited about the work, the congregation is excited about these young men--well trained and passionate--pouring into them.  SO good.


3)  On Friday, we were able to attend Wadner (yep, a lot of you know him!) and Brooke's wedding.  We were blessed to be a part of their big day, and praying for a beautiful marriage that furthers His kingdom!  (Lily was thrilled to watch the 'prince and the princess' tie the knot :)


4) On Sunday after church we got to spend the afternoon at the pool in the rain with friends.  Thought the rain would ruin the pool, but turns out the girls liked the rain more than the pool.  Having friends is...good.


5) Thursday afternoon, Matt and Fanfan drove over an hour to visit with Rosnal, the friend of ours who recently lost his wife.  While the cause of this reunion was so sad, this time was SO good for each of them.  And we praise the Lord for this community culture!


The images I had in my head of Rosnal trying to care for these seven kids alone, preaching and cooking and cleaning and kissing kids, is not at all the case.  


Instead, his entire extended family live in one block, and Matt found the yard and house and surrounding yards all full of family and friends of Rosnal.  They lived in community while she was well, when she was sick, and they live in community, now...lots of help, lots of aunts and sisters and cousins, lots of love for those seven children and for Rosnal. 

I hate that they are with out their beloved mom and wife.  But I love that they're not alone.


6) On the Rosnal note, Matt had a REALLY good time.  There is nothing in Haiti that I enjoy more than sitting in a yard, embraced in everyday life, and Matt rarely gets to do that.  By the end of the first hour, he was just a friend, not a foreigner, and he, Fanfan, Rosnal and his brother Samson sat for hours talking about life and ministry, Haiti and culture, the past and the future.


This was a great encouragement to Matt, a big day of learning, and when he came home well after dark he kept saying, "I am so thankful that God has us here."
  

7)  Maybe you prayed for Pehpay, maybe you helped build his house, or maybe you don't remember who he is, but this morning in church when it came time to share memorized portions of Scripture, I thanked the Lord for Pehpay's miracle yet again.


He was the first to jump up, boldy declaring his passage and joyfully taking his place back on the old man bench, always aware that he shouldn't still be here, that God gave him a second chance, and that his new life in Christ is so precious.  Such a good thing, a life redeemed.

8)  I was SUPER sick yesterday and SUPER better today...which is rarely the case with Haitian Happiness.  Really good.  Now.  


9)  Dodo and Bubba are on their way, set to arrive on Thursday!  Having folks (and friends) next door is always SO much better than being surrounded by empty houses!  We can't wait, and Lily is ready to wear back down the path in between.


10)  Things at Emmaus are just Really Good.  Our staff (not the staff that belongs to us...the staff that we are a part of) is working really well together and in gift/passion-fitting capacities.  We have a fantastic student body full of men and women that we have SEEN His fingerprint on. 

God's doing some pretty amazing things, and proof of that is the fact that EBS is clearly attracting some very called, humble and godly young men and women.  You can't FIND students like the ones filling the halls of EBS, and yet God keeps sending them and using them at the same time for ministry throughout Haiti.

Several conversations with various groups of nationals has helped us to realize that EBS truly is one of the top 2 places in Haiti to study His Word, and we're just thankful to be used by Him here.  


The need for GOOD, accurate, selfless, faithful Bible teaching continues to just be HUGE in this country.  Haiti has believed a lot of lies and has followed a lot of waves of doctrine the last 200 years.  

But I can testify that the WHOLE Truth is being taught at EBS, is being soaked up and changing a special group of people, and is being proclaimed brightly in a very dark and hopeless world.  


What could be more good than that?  

big news

You gotta read this.

Morning, family!  Didn't plan on blogging today but just heard great news I'm anxious to share.  Yesterday afternoon, Lily and I were across the street, playing/talking with a household of women and small children.

While we were there, Belony, Junior and Lynton approached, and I knew they were heading for Konpech.  It was late in the day, but they wanted to share the next Bible story and show the Jesus film as it was getting dark if Konpech was interested.  However, when they arrived, the community was in a bit of an uproar.

A woman in the community was terribly sick, and had been for several weeks. No one was very interested in the guys because everyone was concerned about this woman who was quite seemingly breathing her last.

For over a month now she had been unable to get up, had been unable to urinate for 3 or 4 days now, and was quite lethargic.

Belony (dear Belo...please keep lifting up this apostle) immediately asked if he could pray for the woman, and the men of the village quickly and harshly told him "NO."

However, in just a few moments, someone from the woman's household came to them and asked if they would please come and pray.

The guys headed into the house, where everyone was very divided.  Half the household yelled that they couldn't pray for her, the other half, that it was her only hope.

"Stop," said Belony.  "Let me tell you a story first.  I want to tell you about a guy named Pehpay."

But immediately, Belo was interrupted.  "We already know about Pehpay!" the people said.

"GOOD," said Belo.  "Then you know that he should have already been dead a long time now, but that instead he and I were hanging out at the Seminary earlier this afternoon, because of God's great power in his life."

"Yes," everyone said.  "We heard that some man of God came to him and that God healed him and that he is alive and well today."

Just then, the master of the house silenced everyone and asked the guys to please pray for her, as that it seemed to be the last hope.

Belony said everyone stood to the side with their arms crossed, just staring, while Belony, Lynton and Junior prayed for the woman.  After a few moments, Belony said he felt very moved to grab the woman's arm.

"Because of Jesus, Get UP" he commanded her.

And she did.


Once again, I find myself with complete lack of language to describe something so miraculous.

She did.  She got up, and immediately ran from the house, saying, "I've got to pee!"  (you're allowed to smile...I know He is :)

When she was finished, everyone crowded around her to help her stand, and Belony said, "Back off!  Let her stand."

And she did.  She was completely with them now, standing strong, and immediately, Belo said, raised her arms to praise Jesus.  By now, the entire village had come out, and the crowd parted as the head of Konpech, the lead witchdoctor, came to see for himself.

He stared at the woman and her household, arms raised in praise of a God they have barely been introduced to.

Finally, he spoke begrudgingly and shuffled back out of the circle : "When I offer the sacrifice for our demons, now, I will no longer offer them for your house."

Everyone was deathly silent.

"Don't" said the healed woman.

With a community completely amazed, baffled and astounded behind them, the guys headed home.

"I didn't ask anyone to become a Christian," Belony said.  "They were just reeling.  They needed some time for it to soak in."

But suddenly he broke out this morning in his signature God-grin.  "But I will today!"

After lunch today the student body will make the hike together and do what the Body of Christ is supposed to do....join together and life-on-life Konpech, preaching and sharing and praying the whole gospel according to their gifting.

Sound a little crazy?  Jesus is.  Spend five minutes in any part of your Bible and tell me that this can't be. SO excited that Christ's power through Belony got a little crazy in our dirt corner of the world yesterday.

Go share this blog with someone, and I'll keep you posted after this afternoon.

miracle

As I'm smiling and teaching and calculating and cooking through these days, right behind my temples and right below my collar bone I'm carrying a heavy desire for miracles.

Something like begging.  

I don't even begin to pretend to understand how miracles work.  Maybe that's part of why they're so miraculous:  there is no equation, there is no formula, and even when they mightily come, there is no understanding.  Just wonder, and gratitude, and awe.  

Every single time I shake Pehpay's hand, I remember that TODAY is a miracle for Pehpay.  

Every time I watch Sofie sleep, and I remember my pregnant beg for a miracle moment: "Lord, change the circumstance entirely."

Every time I see the Light in eyes.  

Every time I truly remember and catch a glimpse of His love for me, for others.

And here I am again, looking at two situations that are beyond repair, beyond any reasonable hope, beyond what life has taught me is finished.

My choked-up father reminded me on the phone, when all seems to have already been decided, that he was still praying for a miracle...not even that things would work out, but that things would be entirely different.   Transformed.  My father will never stop teaching me.  

So that's what I'm praying, too.  

As my voice laughs and chats, sings and instructs today, my breath inhales His presence, exhales wordless beggings. 

Beggings for entire transformation for your world, dear Bex, and dear cousin, entire transformation of you.

the important question when standing alone...

Thursday, April 29th

Doing evangelism in Haiti (or anywhere, I suppose) is hard work. On one hand, it is incredibly eye-opening, stretching, personal and a fantastic reminder of what He did, and is doing, for and in me. On the other, it is challenging, often discouraging, mostly unwelcomed, and frequently wearying work!

“If I EVER complain again,” Paul told his wife after joining Matt and some of the students Wednesday for evangelism, “Just SHOOT me.”

After visiting a few families, a few houses, one of which being Pehpay’s, he was humbled to the core by the impoverished state of daily life for most Haitians. No matter how many muddy floor shanties I enter, I am still frequently stabbed with the unmistakable knowledge that people live here. EVERYDAY. THESE people.

There is just no explaining why I wake up in a comparatively ginormous house with tiled floors and screens in the windows and fans whirling overhead and a fridge full of food and a door, a real door, guarding my family….and a woman my exact age, Angeline, with a little boy one month older than Lily wakes up in a crumbling mud thatched hut after sleeping on a dirty mat and wondering what and if they will eat today.

I have climbed the Eiffel Tower, been to summer camp, graduated from college, white water rafted, played instruments, been to Broadway shows, traveled the world. She didn't have the opportunity to finish second grade. Has never left Northern Haiti. Never thought of flying, of movie theaters, of Wal-Marts or health insurance.

No explaining it. Don’t know why.

What I do know is that that is not the most important question. And the longer we’re here, the more we realize that. Full fridge, empty stomach…same real problem, same real solution.

“It DOESN’T MATTER,” Belony shared over and over again today as we went house to house in the scorching sun, “if your mom was a Christian! I don’t CARE if you go to church every single day. Doesn’t matter if you don’t think you’ve sinned as bad as the other person. Doesn’t matter how good you do.”

Belony, teaching the "first convert" out of John

“When He returns, or when you die, you, by yourself, will have to stand before Him, and He will say, ‘What did you do with the life I gave you? How did you live? Who did you serve? Do I know you?’ and you will have to tell Him what you did with what He gave you. You will have to tell Him, ‘I was Yours!’ or ‘I did not choose the salvation I was offered by Jesus Christ.’ Are you His? Will He take you up, or cast you aside?”

Talk about putting things into perspective! Every time Belony preaches the Word or speaks about the Lord, my heart is being touched as well.

What I’m doing with what He’s given me, hmmm.

It is beautiful work, telling people what He has offered them in Jesus…salvation and freedom from their sins, from themselves…abundant life…new life…a hope and a future. I get genuinely excited, overjoyed and overwhelmed just sharing salvation with each person...because it is something I have experienced! AM experiencing!

THIS is the good stuff, I kept thinking as we walked. There are many important things to do here, lots of kingdom work, lots of discipleship, lots of administration and paperwork and meetings and things that must be done, that should be done. But it is these hours of walking with my brothers and sharing with The Ones For Whom He Died that are the most sweet. As different as He has made us all, He put in us EACH a call to share the Gospel, to preach His word in His world, and fulfilling that call resonates deeply as "RIGHT" despite all the reasons that it is NOT fun or easy.

It is HARD work, telling people who are so lost! Hard-headed….angry….quick to fight...living in total darkness…unkind…stubborn….proud people (people like ME, without Him!).

We talked to a LOT of people today. It was SO HOT that most every yard had people just sitting, a bit glassy-eyed in the noonday sun. We talked to a bunch of people in the first three or four houses. Lots of people wanted to fight about Christ and truth and Voodoo, and since we don’t see a Biblical model of Christ fighting people to believe in Him, we just shared salvation and love and moved on.

Belony and Charitable, affectionately now known as Paul and Barnabas, head off the compound right after lunch every Monday - Thursday, boldy and tirelessly preaching, and teaching, the Gospel.

But the best place today, by FAR, was my first time evangelizing in a voodoo temple. I saw the temple approaching, but thought (I have no idea why) that we would pass over. Belony is NOT the type to pass someone over. We headed right in, and Belony, trying to warn me a bit, whispered, “THIS IS A VOODOO TEMPLE” as if I might not notice.

Just like Noah’s temple down the road, this one had mirrors and bottles and talismans hanging everywhere and flags in all the trees. But the more unique characteristic was all the chickens. Every three feet or so, filling almost the whole yard, chickens were tied…Each chicken with a small string from their foot to a stake. These were NOT scrawny Haitian chickens, but big, beautiful chickens, all tied to their poles.

Sacrifices. All for sale for different sacrifices. I almost laughed to myself, thinking, “Really? Chickens? Put your life in the hands of the God of the Universe or in…chickens? This is the hope of change and a better life that Voodoo has to offer?”

In the middle of them, the witchdoctor laid, sprawled out on a straw mat, lethargic in the sweltering heat of the day. He was a surprisingly young man, thin and in a red t-shirt. His eyes were clear, his mind quick, and the ‘closed’ look I had seen in the faces of many others was not there. He was the only person today that offered us a seat. The first one that got up to greet us. He listened to Belo for a minute or two, and then politely interjected.

“You are not the first Christians to come here. I know what you are saying, and I know it to be true. I KNOW that this way is not the way. God knows all the terrible things I do, even those that you do not know, and He knows they are wrong. I know they are wrong. I don’t want to do this, and I know it is not the true way. I have heard about Jesus many times now, and I want Him and want to leave this life.”

Rachelle joined the students this past Wednesday and was able to meet Pehpay...

Everyone in the area that follows this man was SOLD on the lies that he teaches…except for him! He knows the god he has served his whole life WELL, and knows him to be of no comparison with the Lord. He knows the slavery he sells better than anyone…PLEASE keep praying for the witchdoctors. They continue to be the ones that seem to have the best grasp on the truth...what a following Christ would have if these influential men gave Him their lives and work.

“Are you ready to make that choice?” Belo said, excited.

“Almost.” The young boko said.

“You see this house, this work, my things, my food. This work is how I have this, and I’m not in a place yet to leave it.”

We talked a little bit longer, and he promised that he will be making the decision to leave Satan and follow Christ before the end of 2010.

“You never know if you will have the opportunity to change after right now,” Belony warned.

“I know,” he said again sadly. “But I can’t leave yet. What would I do? I would most definitely become poor, lose everything, become hungry.”

How difficult it is for the rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, I thought.

“Yes,” Belo agreed. “Probably so. Could I promise you something? You will NOT be sorry. Not for a moment.”

I thought back through my life, and though I have never been hungry, there have been many incredibly difficult moments, many valleys, many tears.

How many times has following the Lord probably made you look foolish, stupid and ridiculous to the world? (Remember the guy on the plane into Haiti that verbally ripped Matt to pieces about the stupidity of bringing a one-month old Lily to Haiti?)

There are dozens of times that we all could have done much better, in the eyes of the world, to follow a different path, an American path, a financial path, an easy path, a me path, a popular path, right?

It was then that I realized that Belo was right. I’ve never been sorry I made Him my Lord, or that I took up that cross. I have never been sorry, even on the hardest, loneliest, and hottest days, that following Him has led us a world away from home. As much as I have ever complained to the Lord about hardships, I have never wished I had chosen a path other than His.

Three hours of work, and no one accepted Jesus as their Path today.

But a lot of people heard that He has one for them. And until everyone has heard, we must stay on that dry and dusty road, family!