women of the world: be free.

I've been working through this one in my heart for a while now, and hope you find something here, whowhere-ever you are.  If not, throw it out as another blog from that crazy lady in Haiti.

There was a me who used to live very much so controlled by the thoughts (possible-thoughts) and judgements of others.  Wanting to do the right thing and have a right heart often turned more into wanting to appear the right way and be the way (insert your name here) wanted me to be.

I've had a chance to walk bits of life with all kinds of women, and continue to find lots of God-loving women living shadow-lives of the ones I believe He intended, lives consumed with being judged and judging others, evaluating and comparing, competing and criticizing.

And of course, while we think everyone is judging us, most often our harshest critique and endless critic is OURSELVES.

After all, our American culture hasn't helped.  I love seeing my friend's new baby and friend news updates on Facebook.  But we ALL know how hard it is to enjoy the gifts of "following" our "friends" WITHOUT judging them or judging ourselves, without comparing their circumstances/choices/appearances/abilities/jobs/babies/etc. with ours...Without subconsciously using them to make us feel better about ourselves, or using them to make us feel worse about ourselves.

Magazines, commercials, tv shows, advertisements (all the things we SO don't miss the 10 months a year we're in Haiti!) have us continually feeling like we stand short, like we still need so much, like our lives are lacking, or that we should be going after lots of things that have nothing to do with Jesus.

It was at a particularly low point in my life when I had so embraced the lies of my culture that they were completely shaping my every thought that Jesus broke through.

College, 18 or 19, and very much so struggling with keeping up with the appearances of what seemed to me to be a thousand other girls, all far more beautiful, talented, vivacious, gifted, and generally far more marvelous than me.

Comparing, comparing, comparing, and the more I compared, the more I fell short, and the more I fell short, the more I fought to control what I was sure was one of my greatest shortcomings, my waistline.

Very much so claiming my "freedom", I would launch into competitions with myself to see how long I could go without eating, run until I felt woozy, and picked up some pretty destructive patterns.

But one evening I found myself sitting in the dark cold stairwell, exhausted after forcing myself to lose everything I'd eaten that day.

And all the people I was comparing and competing with?  They were out living their lives, completely unaware of the fact that had even been signed up for a competition.

Galatians 5:1 came rushing back, as the Word promises to when we have hidden it in our hearts.

It was for FREEDOM that Christ set us free.

Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks in my empty stomach.

THIS was not what He had set me free for.  THIS was not freedom.  This was all ME, burdened still by the yoke of slavery...the slavery of judgement and comparison, criticism and negativity.  Living like I was my own.

He didn't set me free for that life.  He set me free for FREEDOM.

That day was my first step of finding it.

As I've prayed for that freedom in every area of my life, God has graciously given me all kinds of opportunities to embrace it, and with His help, I have found sweet identity NOT in who you want me to be (or who I think you want me to be), NOT in my appearance, NOT in others' support or disapproval, but in Him.

The One and Only who died to set me free in the first place.

At times, that has literally meant me saying out loud over and over: "It doesn't matter.  Lord, all that matters is what You think.  Peacen me in You alone!"

Listen, friend.  Maybe your "slavery" isn't weight issues.  Maybe you're not as consumed as I was about what everyone thinks, all the time.  Maybe you aren't trying to compete with everyone at every angle, or judge what everyone else is doing and saying all of the time.

But I am meeting, knowing and loving an awful lot of women who continue to live far short of the freedom for which He set us free, downright consumed with all KINDS of judgements and self-criticism, past baggage and unmet hopes, worries and fears.

They are beautiful.  They are smart.  They are accomplished.  And yet somehow that doesn't even begin to put a dent in the strong belief that somehow you're not measuring up.

Newsflash: I think that's pretty insulting to our Creator, because, Another Newsflash: we are not our own, but His.  And He said we were worth dying for.  And dearly loved.

It's not the life He bought us with a price for.

Freedom from how married, not married, old, young, dating, not dating, wide, narrow, convex, concave, life of the party, alone, glamorous, frumpy, trendy, old school we are.  Freedom from how unemployed, over-employed, embarrassingly employed we are.

Freedom from our beautiful, blessed pasts and free from our ugly ones.

Freedom from what others think, might think, could think, say they think, and BEST?  Even freedom from what WE THINK.

There is to be NO more shame, no more criticism, no more self-loathing for who it is God made us to be and for walking through doors He has opened.

When I meet us, beautiful, intelligent, loving friend, and I see us still so concerned with what we think others might think of us, I just want to smack our beautiful foreheads and shout, "BE FREE!"

When I see us, pointing out and searching for the faults of everyone around us because somehow it makes us feel a little better, I want to grab our fabulous shoulders and shake, "BE FREE!"

When I realize we have signed everyone up for unending competitions where nobody wins, fanning inward judgements, frustrations and criticism that we wrongly think will never be seen outwardly, I want to pull us out of the race and bench us with "BE FREE!"

The obvious exception to this freedom are things we've chosen not yet to be free from.  He also died for us to live a free life HOLY before Him, and if our living situation, mouth, tv shows, choices, clothing, spending, grudges, etc., are NOT holy, we're not able to continue living in that way with His freedom.

He set us free to be holy, and WANTS to set us free from sin in our lives.  We can NOT feel free to live anyway we want to and claim, "God made me this way, deal with it!"

But for all that He has MADE us to be-- 6'11" or 5'1", shy or bold, chatty Cathy or quiet, singer, writer, biker, street sweeper, engineer, mother, wife, sister, girlfriend, friend...let's learn.  Let's choose.  Let's pick the path of being who we are, letting HIM love who that is--even if we don't--and let's embrace the life of true freedom for which He set us free.

Only then can we give it to each other: the freedom to BE who we are--very different from each other, with lots of different gifts and talents, shortcomings and struggles--but HIS beloved, free from any judgment but His.

It is the freedom He Died For.

Live it and give it.


Anything you've been learning to add to the conversation?