beach, jil, community, beauty and heart-ache

What a weekend!

Finally got to watch Julie and Julia (which made me want to blog more) and Matt finally got to see Avatar (which made me wonder how much THAT must have cost :), went to the beach on Saturday, visited Jil's family and several other friends on Friday, went to a church right outside of Sakanville on Sunday, put up screen doors (Lily helping Don as much as she could :), taught Saturday morning in the church, and peeled, pitted, chopped and froze dozens and dozens of mangoes. Sakanville is so overflowing with mangoes that we can't even get all of ours given away!

Saturday was just a gorgeous day to be at the beach...It feels so far away from the realities of life in Haiti, and it was so good to have a day together as a family without email, errands, laundry, cooking, phone calls and seemingly endless things to attend to.

"You just traumatized me for life," Don said on our walk home from Jil's on Friday. It didn't seem possible, but all of the rains recently have made Jil's little mud house significantly worse. His wife is waiting to have her baby any day now, and was laying on her little cot in the dark hut right where we left her weeks ago. Her earnest joy is just beautiful, and we had a good visit, talking about the coming days and how the kids did in school. They are out now for the summer.

I brought them a bag of mangoes, thinking it would bless them, but this morning she sent me a pineapple, anxious to return the gift. How heart-wrenching, to receive a gift from a family that I can't stop thinking about their poverty. Matt and I spoke about having the family over for supper one evening, but the painful truth is this...

I couldn't stand for them to see where I live. It would crush me to watch them sit on our couch, see our toilet, see our running water, run their hands over the solid walls. I couldn't stand it.

I can't hardly stand to see it myself after spending 30 minutes perched on Mirlove's rickety "bed", piled with plastic bags and cardboard for cushioning, wide-eyed children grinning all around, no food or even clean water in site, eyes adjusting to the the darkness, my gag reflex adjusting to the smells, my mind fighting to understand why Lily sleeps in a clean crib with a fan overhead...why I was born into a middle-class family in Ohio and Mirlove was born into a mud shanty in the poorest home of one of the poorest villages in one of the poorest countries in the world.

Going to Jil's breaks your heart. Coming home from Jil's breaks your heart. One small horrific reality in a world full of them...I'm SO grateful that this world is not all that there is...and that He dwells in the midst of His people, whatever their "midst" looks like.

This week the small cots and mattresses several of you have helped pay for will be delivered to Jil's home...It may not be a big thing, but his children sleeping out of the mud and sewage will make such an unbelievable difference.

Sunday we walked about 20 minutes to the very edge of Sakanville to attend Maxi's church. The overwhelming June heat made us happy to see an open-air church, and we celebrated the Lord's mighty hand for several hours with brothers and sisters known and unknown. During the opening prayer, the pastor asked Matt if he would please preach, giving him a good hour to prepare a sermon :)

Several members of the church had just been baptized, so Matt spoke about being full of the Spirit...not just "converting", not just repenting or having remorse or being forgiven, not just being born of water, but about being born of the Spirit. He spoke about what the difference between all those things are, and about what it is to truly have our relationship with God dominate what we do and think and say, not sin....what it truly is to embrace the Spirit of Life that He is offering and allow God to put our Spirit of Death to death.

It was GREAT, but Matt and I were still quite shocked and humbled to see five people, in such a small church, come forward at the end of the service, confessing that while they have said they are "Christians," that they have never really asked Him to dwell in them, to overcome their sin natures, have never asked for the Holy Spirit, have never asked Him to transform them... It was a beautiful moment, to pray with these five brothers and sisters, all in their 20's and 30's, and to seek Sakanville change...yet again.

Lately, it feels like we are just holding on for dear life... There has been SO much change, SO much to do, SO many emotions, SO much transformation, SO many miracles, SO much suffering and joy and the Lord has been SO actively at work in our hearts and family and seminary and community that we just keep praying that we might be faithful and holy and have the courage to remain right in the middle of His plan. Praying the same for you today!