the miracle of 4000 gourdes short

A few weeks ago, one of our grad/friend/pastor/brothers, Enick, came by Emmaus for his monthly catch up in the computer lab, catch up with his friends and co-workers at Emmaus, and to get fed by the same ladies who were feeding him 10 years ago when he was still a student.
His church is incredibly distant and remote, several miles to the right of the Seminary, and his family lives in town, several miles to the left of the Seminary, so when he "comes down", he comes by.

I'm always so thankful he does, because spending 20 minutes with Enick fills you with burden and blessing and encouragement and conviction for Haiti all over again.  He is inspiring, to say the least.

After he graduated in 2009, his pastor asked him to please take over pastoring his mountain church, needing to attend more to his city church. Enick spoke to us about it at the time, greatly hesitant.  It was SO remote, incredibly hard to get to, incredibly poor, incredibly rooted in the old ways, incredibly void of any honor or glory, pay or even much provision.

The people were hungry, and he often would be, too.  The houses were woven sticks, at best, and his "parsonage" would be half of one of the classrooms of the school, where he would sleep on the floor behind a sheet, and need to pack up during the day for 50 students to fill.  His pay would be a tiny portion of the tiny tithe...if there was.  No electricity, no water, no road, no cell reception, hiking for over an hour any time he came down...

He was hesitant, to say the least.  But Enick is a man of prayer, and he prayed and said he knew he needed to do it...for two years, so keep looking for a permanent pastor, because THAT is just not the kind of mission field you can DO for very long, and soon he'd want a wife and kids, and they couldn't live in a place like that.  But for now.

That story sounds strangely familiar.

This is his tenth year at Coup-a-David, and two or three times a year we get up when it's still dark and hike the hills to join him, always so blessed to walk to church with many others from surrounding mountains, many walking further than us, blessed to watch Enick pray and preach and lead and serve,  blessed to pray with him and blessed to see how God has truly woven him into God's TRANSFORMATION of this mountain top and dozens of villages around it.

So I couldn't help but feel saddened a few weeks ago when he pulled up the chair across from my desk and said, "Stace, this summer I decided I was DONE.  It would be SO much easier to live in town, I've had lots of better job offers over the years, the spiritual warfare on the mountain continues, there are many hard-hearted people, it's daily way harder than I ever thought it would be, and most of all, do you know that I need? I mean, I really NEED 5000 gourdes a month to live ($80 USD) and did you know that on GOOD months I am lucky to receive 1000 gourdes? ($16/month). I mean, I know everyone is giving what they can, but how can I support my fiancé once we get married on that?  How can I continue to live on that?  I'm tired of living on that.  Life in Coup-a-David is So. Hard.  And this summer, I was facing those difficulties one after another and felt deeply discouraged and sad."

I was working hard to follow his verb tenses, wanting to understand if he was telling me that he was done, or telling me that he had considered this summer being done.  All of my heart was screaming, "You cannot be done! We can see God at work in you there mightily, those are your people, your are their pastor! We must persevere!"

But I waited patiently (I know...this is rare) for him to finish hoping for more clues as to what his final outcome was.

"You know what, Stace?" he finally said, shaking slightly as he always does when he stops on his way down from the mountain from lack of eating and hours in the sun.

"I had my eyes fixed on all those problems, and I kept thinking, I need 5000 gdes a month, and I only get 1000.  I NEED 5000 a month, and I only get a thousand, and when I kept fixing on that, the ONLY logical decision was to STOP.  When my eyes were on my pain, I wanted it. to. stop."

"I am so thankful," he said now grinning, "That God had grace for me in that conclusion this summer.  He didn't punish me for resolving to quit His work, He didn't get angry with me for fixing my eyes on my pain instead of on Him."

"But then one day when my mind was made up, and I started thinking about how much easier life was going to be now, I justified to the Lord again that I only received 1000 gdes a month when I needed 5 to live on, and God abruptly interrupted me."

How much do you need to live a month again, at the very least to survive?

Five thousand, Enick reminded God.

And how much a month have you been surviving on for 10 years?

One thousand, Enick responded.

And for how many years have I been performing that miracle?

Enick stopped and finally fixed His eyes on God.

"NOT the God withholding from me by only providing 1000 gdes a month," he said, "But the God who PROVIDED for me the last 10 years every single thing that I needed, and more.  He raised up many to feed me, He touched hearts to provide what I needed when I needed it, and many times He provided things without using people at all!  The God who has brought me this God-fearing, Coup-a-David loving finance.  The God who has fed me, with NO money, every day for 10 years.  The God who has provided every gourde we ever needed, who has cast out demons and healed the dying and answered with many miracles and taken 1000 and made it 5000 again and again as only HE can."

"As soon as I took my eyes off my pain and fixed them back on God, I realized that it's BECAUSE of all of that pain that God has been able to be GREAT and MIGHTY.  It was THROUGH these pains and hardships that God has been able to work his miracles.  It is through the frustrations and the difficulties that God has been GREAT."

"And my great God isn't finished with me yet. And if He's provided so far for my needs and my heart and my hurts and my pain, He's not going to stop now.  So I trust Him.  So that was my summer.  How was your summer?"

I was thinking through his story the rest of the day, and it's come to me many times since.

I'm a DEEP feeler...my overly sensitive heart is almost ALWAYS tempted to dwell on my pains.

How easy it is to fix our eyes on the lack, on the pains, and make our decisions out of motivation to relieve it.  It even sometimes feels like peace, doesn't it, the deep relief of having that pain alleviated! We have fixed it for ourselves with our own common sense, how often missing out on the miracles of filling the gap He had in store.

And as the hurts of the last several weeks have pinched and tugged and twisted my focus, I'm trying to learn from Enick's summer and example, and lift my eyes above the waves.

Does it feel like you need 5000, and yet life and loved ones and coworkers and circumstances and your best efforts keep coming up crazy sort?  Do you feel ready to move on, because it's harder than you'd ever thought, because it makes a lot more sense, because you're tired?  Does the idea of moving on from this burden of family or work or ministry or friendship or outreach or discipleship or problem God has called you to sound relieving?

I feel you.  And it must be why He tells us So. Many. Times. in His Word to be strong and courageous and to be of good courage...not because He needs any Supermans and Wonderwomans for His Work, but because He knew our hearts to be easily laden, He knew our eyes can easily catch on the 4000 gourdes short in our hands.

But.  If we'll persevere, if we will be of good courage, if we will trust, if we will lift our eyes off our issues and onto Where Our Help Comes From, He's got 5000 mouths to feed with those 2 fish, He's got miracles of making it up in His mind, He's got MORE than provision for the MORE than lack...for our hearts, for our heads, for our hands.  

Praising the Lord for Enick's example, praising the Lord for being THAT kind of Lord, praising the Lord for knowing, knowing exactly what it is that I need, and that He IS.

climb every mountain

Thought I'd give you a break from my perspective and give you Eric's instead, written after our day at Coup-a-David to his wife. 

You will notice that Matt is "amazing"-- but that I am referred to as "nuts."  Yeah, Eric's probably been around too long :)

Listen in...

Martie,
It's Sunday afternoon. We are relaxing around the house after returning from the mountain church.

The experience we had today was intense. We left at 7:45, drove a half hour on rough roads, then began our hike into the mountains. The hike took us past some fields, livestock and houses where the Haitians were going about their business. 

They are extremely poor. Starving.

The hike was an hour and a half over rough terrain, muddy ditches, steep hills and stream crossings. Stacey is the one who really wanted to do this hike and she wore flip-flops. She's nuts.

When we got to the church, we were quite sweaty and exhausted. We went in to the block building and our whole group sat on the front pew which sagged under our weight. We were the only "blancs" (foreigners) in the congregation of 150. They asked us to stand and introduce ourselves, so we stood and Matt introduced the whole group. 

The entire service was in creole, but Matt translated most of it for us in real-time. He was amazing.

I could not believe how well-dressed the people were. Women in pure white dresses, spotless who had just hiked the same trail that left me sweating and dirty. Little girls in fancy dresses, boys in suits with tie and jacket. Amazingly clean. I was the dirtiest person there.
The singing was spirited, enthusiastic, and in tune. 

The message was one of encouragement from the story in 1Kings of the widow who used her last bit of flour and oil to make bread for Elijah, herself and her son, even though it was all she had and she expected to starve to death after that. The Lord provided for them because she was faithful to give what she had.

The pastor used this story to encourage the hatians to give God what they have, however little that may be. It was heavy. Especially knowing how very little they have. These people know hunger. They just came through a 6 month drought which was devastating to their crops.

(Walnique, second year student, brother Enick, past graduate and pastor, and brother Matt)

Overall, a time I'll not soon forget. I took some pictures too.
Love you,
Eric

 Sofie, Matt, Lily, Stacey, Jeremiah, Uncle Don and Eric, of Sharptown NJ!

what a day!

From the beauty of His earth to the joy of worshipping with our brothers and sisters on top of a mountain, going to church at Coup-a-David was a joy.

The hike, especially with two little ones, was not a joke.  Lily LOVED it and reminded us of a baby goat, wanting to walk by herself almost the entire way, skipping and singing along the trail.

My favorite part about going to mountain churches is having the chance to enter into people's lives along the way.  We walked past hundreds of homes and hundreds of people, giving us lots of chances to connect, share a laugh or some encouragement, and of course learn more about Haiti's culture and people.

We got to talk with little children, old men, cock fighters, nursing mothers, women doing laundry, young men gambling dominoes, farmers, church goers, a blind woman and sheep herders...Imagine if you were able to walk through people's yards to get to church each Sunday!  

Once you finally see this prayer hut, you know you're getting close.  This hut was built for people to sit with God and speak to Him apart from their every day lives...you can see for miles, and as we approached the church, you could see dozens of others heading to worship on all the surrounding mountain ridges.  Many people walked far longer than we did to get to church yesterday!  What a ministry...

At the last river crossing, everyone stops to put their shoes on, as that most everyone hiked to church barefoot to save their Sunday shoes.  

 Upon arrival, exhausted Lily promptly fell fast asleep and slept through the whole service.

If you hike for hours to get to church, it turns out that you really wanted to be there.  The lively worship and rapt audience was a great tribute to this community of believer's great desire to grow and worship together.  After an awesome time of worship and a singing group, one of our visiting professors, Leroy, preached a great sermon from 1 John 3.  

He talked about leading a life free from sin, sharing from John that "everyone who practices sin practices lawlessness.  You know that He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin.  No one who abides in Him sins; no one who sins has seen Him or knows Him.  Little children, let no one deceive you; the one who practices righteousness is righteous, as He is, and the one who practices sin is of the devil." 1 John 3:4-10

For Matt and I, one of the greatest blessings of the day was to be able to be a part of this work that Enick has given his life to.  Working on top of a mountain among the poorest and least prestigious in the world holds no worldly incentive for any man.  It is for the Lord that he pours himself out like a drink offering...there is NO other explanation.

He sleeps in a classroom, hikes the hike several times a week, serves endlessly, prays and works and ministers and disciples hundreds of people from all the surrounding mountains...never ceasing to preach and teach and serve and pray and lead everyone from the children to the elderly.  He is constantly using what little money he has to buy medicine for so-and-so, a Bible for such-and-such, a sewing machine to help someone's family provide, English lessons to help a youth get a job.

Every time I see Enick...EVERY time, he is on his way to or from Coup-a-David, and at any time that you ask him to hold out his hand, you will see that it is shaking.  

"Enick," I always ask him.  "When was the last time you ate something?"

"Oh," he always says grinning.  "It might have been a little while, but come, let me tell you about something that God is doing!"

He was in our first graduating class, and we have seen over the last five year him lay down all of his dreams to get his masters, to work in the Dominican, to be married and to make enough money to provide for his parents (it was Enick's mother who died last month) and little brothers and sisters at Jesus' feet, committing each day to do whatever work the Lord put in front of Him and trusting Him to provide exactly what he needs for each day.

What an example of Jesus for Matt and I...to be more like Christ in Enick.

(chocolate beans, drying in the sun to be pounded and turned into balls of bitter dark chocolate, which can then be sold and melted in cups of milk)

 Another huge highlight for me was getting to hold these triplets! (Sorry about the angle...it was hard to get a picture of all three while holding two.)  

I have NEVER seen triplets in Haiti.  Survival of two twins alone is so rare that to see triplets thriving at one month old was a miracle in itself.  As soon as I saw the mother holding one of them, looking too tiny to possibly be a real baby, she shared with me that the precious girl was a month old, and that there were two more. 

Quickly, grinning siblings ran in the mud house and returned with two more little ones, all three sound asleep in the warm sun and all three seeming to be in great health.  She delivered them, of course, right there in their mud hut with no doctor and no midwife, and I was just overwhelmed not only by the miracle of their safe pregnancy and delivery, but by the families obvious joy and love for the three...something very rare in this culture due to the fact that one child is already such a burden for families that have so little.  Two are typically seen as some kind of a curse...so three could have merited quite the complaint!

I can't wait to watch these little ones grow up as we visit Coup-a-David every few months.  

I have far more pictures than I can share!

Though we're all a bit exhausted and sore today, yesterday was such a huge reminder for us of the power of His hand, the joy it is to be in His service with others, and the great need Haiti and I have, NOT for electricity, not for running water, not for nice roads, not for financial gain, but just for Him.  

Just for Him.

Come see us, and we'll take you!

living by faith

Living in Haiti these past five years have caused Matt and I to spend a LOT of time in prayer, in Scripture, in conversation and in thought over money.  Poverty.  Blessing.  Need.

Every time we pass an outstretched hand, and that is daily, we think about it.  Every time someone comes to the house, and that is daily, to ask for financial help, we think about it again.  Every time we see a hungry child, a sick friend, a widowed family...every time we see an internet ad for $100 jeans, an article about the stock market, and email about our support account.

When you live as Americans, on support from others, in a fifth world country where people are fighting to survive, not to thrive, it makes sense that cents come up a lot.

Our living conditions might not be as nice as what we grew up with, but we are the ONLY PEOPLE in our entire village with running water.  With a toilet.  With internet.  With a laptop.  With a camera.  With a washing machine.  With warm water.  With drinkable water. With fans.  With electricity.  Our house is comparatively HUGE and luxurious.

We have two physical worlds (the US and Haiti) that we come from and live in, and two inner worlds of human (desire for and dependent on stuff) vs. spiritual (desire for and dependent on Christ alone)....And trying to reconcile these worlds and realities full-time keep us up many nights.

If anything, we have more questions now than we had answers five years ago.  Once my head gets to boggled and my heart too heavy, I ask Him to bring me back to the basics, and yesterday, He blessed me by doing just that.

Our good friend and past student Enick dropped in to see me in my office yesterday morning.  I laughed inwardly when I saw him because I had JUST received an email from a stateside friend that I never hear from about him just several minutes before.

Enick's the pastor at Coup-a-David, a favorite little church of ours WAY up in the mountains.  Gifted, intelligent, honest, clear-eyed and tireless, Enick has blessed us many times through the years with his joy, his desire to please the Lord, and his constant unselfish outpouring of Christ alone on all around him.

In August, he bought his little brother Walnique to the Seminary, telling me that while he had tried and tried to talk his brother into going into ANY field BUT the ministry, Walnique was determined that he was called to follow in his brother's footsteps.  We didn't talk about it much then, but Enick forked over all the crumpled bills he had, introduced us to a smaller version of himself, and left.

Yesterday, he met my joyful greeting with a chagrin smile.  He knew Walnique owed money.  I knew Walnique owed money.  He knew I knew.  But I didn't mention it, and instead inquired all about ministry on the mountain, musical and medical ministry he's involved in, and his family.

"How is Walnique doing?" he asked me, and it was my great pleasure to just drip with compliments.  "He's SO quick," I told him.  "He thinks WAY more critically than the average student, he keeps all his teachers on their toes, he works hard, the other students really like him, he's very eager, tireless.  He really is exactly what EBS is looking for.  He's a lot like you."

Enick grinned sheepishly, and then told me how proud he was of his little brother.  However, again he told me how much he had wished Walnique had done something else with his life.

"Why do you say that, Enick?" I asked, "When it's SO obvious that this is what God made Him for?  When you yourself are doing it?"

"Stacey," he said.  "Have you ever heard me complain?"

"Nope," I said, truthfully.

"You know a lot of times I am shaking, because I haven't eaten in a long time.  You know I sleep often in the mud, that I never have ANY money, and that I never know where my next meal will come from.  Everything I have is the charity of others. But I never complain, not because I am trying not to complain, but because I truly LOVE it.

"I live by faith," he continued, "and that has been wonderful.  God continues to provide so much for me and take such good care of me.  The work for His kingdom is so hard and SO good.

"But you know I am the oldest son.  I have two elderly parents that have no jobs.  I have 4 younger brothers and sisters.  It is one thing for me to choose to live by faith.  It is something else to go to my families house and see that there is NO food, and ask THEM to live by faith.  They are ALL looking to me, and I have failed them.

"Walnique is more talented, more intelligent, than I.  He could really DO something for this family if he became a doctor, a business man.  SOMEONE has to take care of my family.  What am I going to do, with Walnique in theology?" he asked, head in his hands.

I'd never thought through his situation like this.  I never had seen in five years of working with him his true burden.

He continued, "I know we owe money for him.  I know I have this bill," he pulled it out of his jacket pocket.  "But I don't know what to tell you.  I don't have anything.  I have tried to find the money every way possible.  You know I HATE asking for help, but I even emailed a friend from the states weeks ago, but never heard back.  I don't know what to do.  Stace, I need help."

Yesterday, I saw a miracle unfold before Enick did.

"You mean, you contacted THIS friend?" I asked, turning my computer around so he could see my inbox, an open email on the desktop from that morning.

He peered at my screen with surprise.   "Actually, YEAH.   That friend.  What...?  Did she email YOU?"

I found an email from Enick.  He said he needed some money to pay Emmaus, but I didn't read it until just a little while ago.  Can you give me an extension and give me some time to help this young man financially?  I do not have the money right now, but I have someone I can contact.  It seems so important.  


"What?" he asked me.  "When did you get that?"

"Thirty minutes ago," I smiled.

"Right before I came in?" he asked again.

"Yep.  It looks like your need was already met before you even asked.  Looks like asking your family to live with you by faith might be awesome for them, too.  Looks like maybe God thinks it's HIS job to provide for your family, not yours."

Enick broke into one of his signature huge gap-toothed smiles, but this time with rare tears mixed in.

"Yes" was all he could say and I swear I could "see" the burden lifted from his bony shoulders.  "Yes."


Back to the basics.  He says if He feeds the birds and robes the flowers, then He cares for and will provide all the more for YOU.  For Enick.  I needed the reminder as much as Enick, and when our mutual friend emailed again last night these words, I was blessed all the more.

How can I send the money?  I know that Enick lives by faith trusting the Lord to supply his needs.  This is a good opportunity for me to be used by the Lord to channel funds from a donor to a very worthy cause.  It gives me great joy.  I don't remember that Enick has ever asked me for anything for himself.


And as if that weren't enough, almost $900 USD has been pledged so far for Bibles.  (yeah...WOW.)  We were able to buy 41 this morning (that was all the bookstore had right now) and have funds to buy more as soon as more come in.  That means 41 Bibles are going out with Belony and students right now, to be distributed as they feel led over the next two weeks of evangelism and discipleship.

God's Word.  God's Provision.  And God's joy to be had by all in the giving and receiving and giving again.

Very blessed, today, to be somewhere in the middle.

Thank you...

all the pictures on this post (except for the Bibles) come from Coup-a-David, the area Enick pastors.