weak and strong

"Matt Chandler said that comfort is the God of our generation.

Which is why people are so frustrated with verses like Romans 8:28. Because it says that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to his purpose. And if you're defining it that good means comfortable, then think of your thing that is breaking you right now.

Because my thing? Grief? The loss of a spouse? That has not made my life more comfortable.

So how can I know that in my thing, God works for good? Because I DO love Him.

Thankfully Paul keeps writing, because in verse 29 he writes, "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be (here's His definition) conformed to the image of His son."

God's definition of good is different than ours. 

We define good as comfortable, easy, successful, rich.

And yet Paul defines it and says, "it'll make you more like Jesus, it'll conform you to the image of the Son." And if Jesus lives within you, He's predestined you to become more like Him. And the way He's gonna get you there is NOT the fruit of your effort. The way we're gonna become like Jesus is actually through the very things we're going through.

The things we may have looked at and said, "how could He use this for good?"

How do you think He wants to use your thing to form you more into the likeness of Jesus?

Even if that thing makes you feel weak, He wants to use that thing to make you more like Him.

Not just for your good. But man, for the good of the world.

Don't try to fix it, cover it, hide it, fix it, dodge it, scroll past it. That's precisely what He wants to use for good."

When I heard Megan Fate Marshman share this tonight on IG it struck me. I know His definition is not ours. I know His goodness is not our idea of goodness. I know He uses all this heartache. But something about the way she went after it just struck me, especially when she got to weak. 

My things this past two years have made me feel SO weak. I was crying to Hannah just a few nights ago that I feel like a shadow of who I once was...with dad always on back-up and my feet firm on Haitian soil and plans for my four kiddos. I told her I am sick to death of feeling weak and fragile, sick to death of circling loss and grief. 

Weak is the worst feeling in the whole world.

It is not that Megan called His good different than our good. It's not that she reminds me that His plans are for our holiness over happiness, or our growth over our comfort. 

It's that she took it to the next step I haven't released: that even the things that make me feel weak, He wants to use to make me more into the likeness of JESUS. He is not disgusted or frustrated by or tired of my weakness. He is using it. 

It's the reminder that it IS IN my weakness, my grief, my pain, that HE IS STRONG in me.  It's that in my weakness that I have grown SO weary of, He has been shaping me to look and think and respond more like Him.

The weaker I have felt like I'm getting by one challenge after another, the stronger in me He is actually becoming.

I have grown to despise the weakness that He has been using to conform me to the image of His Son...the very "good" I long for, MOST. 

Today years old when I realized it. 

Thankful for how He shows us small and powerful things, how and when we are ready to hear them. 

If you're needing a fresh perspective...eyes on Jesus.