After a great community weekend (despite a bad cold) of serving and being served (being served always being so much more humbling for me) we had a rather rough night with Lily last night.
She is always a fabulous sleeper, but last night she awoke around midnight screaming and bawling and shrieking. Lil says she woke up, and there was a huge dark owl with fangs laying on her chest, trying to attack her. We pulled her into our bed and soothed her and prayed for her, thinking she'd be back to sleep in just a few minutes.
However, for the next hour+, she went through a dozen phases of being utterly petrified, saying inch worms were crawling on her pillow and on her legs and up her arms, trying to hurt her.
Each time, we flicked on all the lights, snuggled her, prayed for her, showed her, and sang over her. It wasn't until well after 1 am that she finally fell back to sleep, and woke happy as a clam this morning.
Throughout the night we spoke to her over and over about God's power, about His ever-near presence, about His protection.
But in the darkness of night, she truly thought she was seeing something different. She almost couldn't hear us.
As I was braiding her blonds this morning, I said, "Lil, do you remember having a rough time last night?"
"Oh YES," she said dramatically. "Mom, I really thought there were evil spirits in those inch worms, and they were trying to scare God away."
As soon as she said it, before I could respond, she burst into peals of genuine pure laughter, such a joy after shrieks of fear throughout the night.
"How silly" she said. "To think INCH WORMS could scare away God. To think evil spirits could scare God. Seems so silly now."
It always does feel silly, doesn't it, once the sun has dawned light on our great fears. It always does seem silly after dark times of great storms to look back and remember thinking that perhaps God would not be enough. That perhaps His strength would not prevail. That perhaps whatever dark thing we were facing would scare Him away. Would defeat Him.
What we thought we saw, what we were so sure of, so quickly fading in light of His light...in light of the Light of HIS already victorious reality.
Sitting around meatloaf and mashed potatoes last night, one of my very favorite times of community, we got talking about how Matt and I had met, and the very dark time in my life where he met me. Where He met me.
I remembered again, sharing with these 70+ year old champions of our faith, sharing with a senior pastor of one of our biggest supporting churches turned just-Charlie, how hopeless the many inch-worms of the day--guilt, fear, despair, loss, devastation--had felt, eating away at my soul.
When the sun finally shined on my back again, warming my soul, all the many truths I had buried deep about Who He Is (really, the only truths that matter) came to the top, chasing away the very real inch worms, and even making them seem silly.
Of course He reigned. Of course He already defeated. Of course He still had a plan, of course He was still sovereign. Of course, He was still mine, I was still His.
Of course, He was enough. Is enough.
SO. I don't know what inch worms you're dealing with today...or how real and gnawing those fears feel. How dehabilitating. I don't know how dark your dark is today, or why. It's not about whether the worms are real or not. Not about what you see with your very eyes. It's about who HE is. Everything in light of Who He Is.
I urge you...break out His Word, and deliberately let His light in today, shedding the peace and joy that His truths bring.
He will prevail. He will redeem. He is already victorious.