It's simply never been hard to hurt my feelings, and as I've gone throughout life, I've learned that most people (even those who seemed so nonchalant at first) are the same way. We are sensitive creatures. We feel deeply. What others say and do MATTER.
An unkind or angry glance, a confrontational word, a well-intended opinion or suggestion, even a casual disregard can totally tilt my day out of whack.
Which is why a God-theme in my life always seems to be Him being my audience of One--and which is why number 2 is so vital.
If I am to live the free and poured out life that He intends, I've got to be completely, continually and aggressively working to forgive, forget, and forgo grudging.
Even against those who didn't actually do anything wrong. Even against those who deliberately and maliciously cut deeply. Even if it means a terribly suffocatingly horrible reunion. Even if only in my own heart.
The reality we already know is this: no matter what it was--from a pious word to a crushing blow--our forgiveness pales in comparison to the forgiveness He has already given.
Given US.
Most days, that means constantly making the choice to forgive--to live in forgiveness and freedom--of even the silliest of little things.
He ate your Oreos. Dumb Doberman killed your cat. Dude cut me off.
They should have asked about it, and they didn't. He should have mentioned that, and forgot. It wasn't your fault, but they acted like it was. You did the best you could, but it wasn't enough. She slighted you. You caught the brunt of their bad day. Our children say something unintentionally hurtful and ungrateful. Nobody even noticed. He doesn't realize how hurtful that just sounded...felt. Unmet expectations.
I find on the days that I store these things up, I am bitter, lonely and burdened by lunch. We're all so different, all dealing with so much below the surface. It's so EASY to hurt each other.
But it's even easier to hold onto the hurt.
And then there are hurts too deep to forgive on our own. When you share those with me, when I see those in the world, when I see their wake in you but don't know what happened...it just breaks my heart. First, because you've been so hurt. But also because you are still so hurting as long as you hold it. Trace it. Become it.
There are hurts unimaginable to me that I can't comprehend living forgiveness. But I KNOW, and I TRUST, that there are NONE that He can't comprehend.
I know there are none that He can't help us forgive.
And FREE us from.
Live in a constant state of reconciliation.
Look to forgive EVEN as the offense is occurring. Choose not to revisit it even after the fact with your spouse, your family, your friends. Look that person in the eye next time, and with His strong and mighty help, look through the eyes of Jesus. Pure. Full of Love. Compassionate.
Sometimes, He makes me go do something crazy then. Like TELL the person they hurt me and forgive them verbally. Like, WRITE the letter or email. Like, stand before them and look them in the face and forgive them. And ACT like it. Actually DO IT. Shudder
(Did someone just pop into your mind before you shoved them back out? Can I lovingly ask you to pay attention to that?)
But most often, His great work is just. in. me.
Reconciliation, I believe, is His Forte. God sent His Son to restore that which was broken, to find that which was lost, to bridge the agonizing unbridgeable gap.
And when I ask Him, daily, to be AT WORK, doing what He does, I find Him pointing continually to little hurts, little grudges, little wounds, and sometimes big ones, and helping me STOP.
With a full heart, forgive.
In turn, they see Jesus. In turn, I am free. In turn, I choose joy.
More, I believe that THAT is what He wants.
Always.
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