one - never ending open hands

I guess my realization that this is the only way to live started when my mom passed away, a harsh reality of life I had previously thought impossible: death.

Then, the giving to God of my future...a big old thing which suddenly looked a lot scarier than it ever had before.

Then, at 21 and newlywed, standing in front of church after church in front of thousands of mostly strangers, telling them about what God gave back when I gave Him that future.

Open-handed?  Getting on a plane 7 years of mornings ago with 7 totes and a million unknowns.  Feeling sick.  Wondering what in the WORLD we were doing...what in the world HE was doing.

Open-handedness was almost impossible when they held four week old Lily, especially when a stranger on that same plane harshly reprimanded us for selfishly pursing "our dreams" and knowingly throwing our newborn into the path of certain danger.

But living open-handed isn't only the only way to live in the face of major life transition.

And God doesn't pry our fingers.

Open Hands Living is the daily knowledge, trust and affirmation of this constant truth: everything I have, everything I am, is HIS.  It is all His, to be held loosely and to constantly be giving back.  It's all His for His glory.

Yes, that means as I'm holding wheezing Sofie, rank with kerosine.  Giving her back, giving her back.

But it also means giving Him sadness last night, when I dearly missed my sister.  Deliberately handing it to Him.

Giving Him anger, when I feel it rising.

Giving Him two broken cameras (yes, two) and a broken finance computer ALL in one very frustrating week, and leaving them and the irritation and worry over them UP.

Giving Him all my beautiful hopes for last week and my sadness over their loss.

Giving up what I had the RIGHT to say.

It means holding our gourdes, our dollars, very loosely as money belonging to Him.  When it doesn't come in, when it isn't enough, when someone still needs it, when He prods our hearts...giving it up, giving it up.  It's His.

The crazy thing about open-handed living is that it exemplifies some radical kind of trust.  Centurion trust.  It means LIVING with open hands, breathing in His gifts and blessings and immediately exhaling them back up with praise.

It means we have NO RIGHTS.

It means we have NO POSSESSIONS.

It means we have NO GLORY.

It also means we have no baggage.  No heavy-laden burdens.  No cumbersome judgement, no weary guilt, no endless competition, no insults to avenge.

It means we are free.  

Free to be His.  Used as He will, poured out as He will, broken as He will, receiving as He will, giving as He will.  We're not the source, and we're not the pool.  Just the vessel.

And continually open and upwards hands mean we are in a constant disposition of Praise. 

Help!  
Here!  
Gratitude.  

Hallelujah.

We must never stop deliberately, prayerfully, joyfully and trustingly opening our hands unto Him.

What are we clinging tight fisted to today, asking for His help with but not GIVING to Him?
What's in our left hand keeping our right hand from effective service unto Him?
What right or grudge are we ball-fisted for, refusing to give up, refusing to be free from?
What love are we clinging today, unsure that He can be trusted with?

Stop.  Open your hands in front of you with me, opened unto Him.  Ask Him to show us those things we're clinging to, to help us release them, and to take them.

Always.