turns out, He knew

This is going to sound like something I have said before, which absolutely means I guess I haven't learned it yet.

When (when!) am I going to stop talking about what I do need, what I don't need, what I do have time for and what I don't have time for, acting like I know the big plan, like I am in charge of my own life?

Don't I trust Him enough to know what I need and where He wants to use me, without understanding it myself?

Turns out, I needed to hold Mary's hand for a bit and be loved by her, needed to walk the halls with Velma and be prayed for.

Turns out, I badly needed some worship, in my OWN language.  Songs of MY faith journey.  "Jesus, He will move the mountains!  His hand is mighty to save, mighty to save..."

Turns out, my girls needed some Aunt Lisa time, getting to do some stuff they never get to do.

Turns out, Matt's grandma is on her death bed, and Matt's been able to text/call/email consistently.

Turns out, Matt and Dad, Ron Smith and Al Coppege needed some golf time, together, non-ministry, non-Haiti, and all the talk and relationship this time brought.  Matt NEEDED a few hours OFF.  

Turns out, as I've been deliberate about relationship building with dozens of people I've never, I've thrown my head back in unexpected laughter, been amazed by some amazing stories, seen lots of Jesus...all stuff I needed.  

Turns out, Matt needed to stay up past midnight with Ron Smith, talking like only Jersey boys do.  

Turns out, we needed reminded of the people behind OMS, the heart behind some of the vision, the big picture to some of our little picture.

As I've reflected on what and how to share, what to say...stepping back...I've thought through so many hundreds of stories and days of His faithfulness, of heart-wrenching conflict, of incredible miracles and have gone from feeling rushed and stressed and overwhelmed to feeling nothing but thankful.  

I've been given so much Jesus to share, and another great opportunity.  I need that.  Always.