catch our hearts

While Matt was in Iowa the last few days for a seminary presidents meeting with former VP Mike Pence, Lily and I spent Saturday morning on Geometry (and I thought I was done homeschooling my number one :) and then took the kiddos to the pool, one last afternoon before it closes for the year.

I swam with the little three for an hour while the older girls splashed and chatted with friends, and then welcomed the 5 minute break. I sat in the sprinkler on the deck with Ben, Nora and Emma toddling about and relished the quiet, the warmth of the sun and a quiet minute to find my grounding after a crazy last week. I played through some of my study on His Resilience and our emotions. 

Our emotions, they aren't like the weather. They don't happen TO us. We play an active roll in shepherding our emotions...not ignoring them or being controlled by them, but bringing our emotions under His strength and care, under HIS shepherding. 

Releasing the girls to school has been a major exercise in this. As their emotions climb and fall, ebb and flow, as I love some things and really don't love some others,  I have been releasing my emotions and girls to Him almost moment-by-moment. Catch my heart today, I have prayed fifty times. Catch my heart, Jesus.  

...when the whistle sounded shrill and urgent, and my eyes flew open to see a man pulling the body of a small boy out of the deep end. 

I yanked my littles to me and guarded their eyes and subconsciously searched the snack bar 'till I found my bigs, and then I started praying, praying out loud, praying as urgent as the whistle. 

Because he was dead. 

It was the break. There hadn't been any lifeguards, not for almost five minutes.

And as an older gentleman immediately started pumping, pumping and I heard a voice, my voice, begging Jesus, Jesus, help that little boy, bring air to his lungs, help that man, help that boy's mommy and daddy and as I watched the lifeguards run and the babysitter bawl and phone calls made, my eyes were glued to his tan little legs.

They weren't resting. They weren't unconscious. They were dead. 

I cried out desperately to the Lord in streams of urgent prayer and gathered up my precious chickies, any of whom it could have been, and headed quickly for the car with those skinny brown legs still lifeless, leaving the pool as the lifeguards were urgently requesting, waiting in the car for the ambulances to settle, streams of prayers with every breath, streams of prayers over my children as they streams of prayers themselves.  Jesus, help that little boy, Jesus, strong and mighty, come over that little boy and fill him. 

Jesus brought him back. 

He is in the ICU today, a miracle without debate, after too many minutes without a pulse, too many minutes without air in his lungs, on the bottom of the deep end.  

As I pray for him even now, and his dear family, I'll can't stop seeing him on the bottom of that pool we've fetched dive-sticks from so many times, and every time I shudder the Lord shows me that He was there.

No one saw him, the break in full-swing, down the tube slide and to the bottom.  But the Lord.  

The Lord saw him, and was there, and caused him to be seen, and caused him to be seen by a cardiologist, and returned breath to his lungs, and restored and redeemed what was lost. 

God is going to redeem and restore all of our losses, all of our losses. Not always now. But very soon. 

God sees us, always, sees our children, always, and can be trusted. He is ALL that can be trusted.  This world and the enemy are hard and fast after our children, our friends, our spouses, our families, our churches, our hearts, our minds.  

Declare what is TRUE to win the battle for our thoughts. Consecrate our minds and feelings, inviting Him into every one, every time. Name your griefs and disappointments and losses and traumas and invite. Him. In.  

The Lord hears His people. The Lord is close to the broken-hearted. Weeping may last through the night, but His joy comes in the morning, because our God is gentle, sees and knows the broken places and He. Is. There. In. Them,  and He IS going to redeem and restore all of our losses.  

I'm digging deep into the depths of Jesus for this new week, breathing my prayers and praises and trusting this to be True.

Catch our hearts, Jesus.