amphibians

This time last year we were moving. Matt was gone, we had a brand new baby, and Nikki, Dad and Cindy came these days right before to help, to meet Emma, to meet our bonus girls, to celebrate Nora's 7th birthday. Dad was between treatments and helped me figure out getting the water turned on, fixing lots and lots of little things at the old house and the new, hanging hooks, bouncing the baby, talking it all through with me, listening. Being strong and present, his strengths.

Now, that time with my dad is the last one in my memories before he was really sick. I'm sure he did too much. I'm sure he was still pushing it. But he was happy and swam with the kids, played ball with Ben, ate birthday cake and sat with me at the Italian restaurant, holding sleeping Emma in his lap. 

We were made to be amphibians. Living in both this realm and the spiritual realm, all at the same time. As His children, we were made to live and move comfortably between two worlds, the natural world and the supernatural, the one of our bodies and our souls. This whole idea has been comforting me lately, because while there are beautiful things to draw from all around us, pointing to Him, like the heritage of my loving dad, there is also a realm all around me filled with the presence of God and all the supernatural strength, graces, and love that are found in Him for me to draw from. Where my dad is, I'm living in that reality too. 

God's healing and help is not only available from His word and His people and His creation...it's also available supernaturally and spiritually from HIM....If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, rivers of living water will flow from within Him."

I am not HERE with the physical God and my dad is THERE with the spiritual one.  My restoration and life is not just in the natural realm...some of the most powerful graces come from the Kingdom of God, like that River of Life! When I am asking His River of Life to flow in and through me, to heal and restore me, I am acknowledging that I live like the frogs, body in this world, but eyes bubbling above the surface, set on Him. 

My dad, our beloved ones in Him, my Heavenly Father, they are not far off. He's just right on the spiritual side, and I am living there, too. What a magnificent gift, that what I see and experience today is NOT all there is. What a life-breath--that I am not limited to only what this world has to offer and on my own strength and the strength of others, but can live feet in the beautiful, powerful, ever-renewing River flowing from the Father. 

It might be dumb, but at 40, I am picturing for the first time living waters flowing from His throne, like the ones the prophet Ezekiel saw flowing from the temple, so deep and wide it was impossible to swim across (Ezekiel 47:9).  And as the souls of the saints cry Holy around His throne, splashing in the waters of His presence, it is flowing ON into the physical world, bringing life and healing and peace, washing His strength and restoration through the paths of our own lives, NOW, and also not yet. The healing waters coming from His throne have fully washed over my dad, healed and restored him, completely. But I've got my feet in them.

Amphibians. I'm still working it through. 

His efforts. His rivers of life from which we will genuinely thirst no more. His power, now and always.