Benevolent Detachment

When the Lord touches you, you don't carry on the same. I'm so thankful for that miracle! I'm so thankful we have a God who sees and cares enough TO touch us, and that His touch actually brings strength to shriveled places, brings change to broken patterns, brings rivers of life to dry and weary lands. 

The people Jesus touched in his lifetime were never the same...the blind weren't still stumbling, the lame weren't still hobbling, the sick weren't still writhing...though life still had struggles and they still had work to do.  So it makes sense that when Jesus meets us now--when the Holy Spirit does something in our hearts and lives--that we are genuinely changed, not just touched.

Sunday morning I headed into church with His ever-renewing river flowing through me, and it didn't take but a moment for my heart to sense His work of the last days. Matt's preaching five weeks at another church, so alone with kiddos I headed into our church for the unchurched. 

In a matter of moments I was graciously bombarded...a dear one who just lost a baby first trimester...a weeping mama torn between some hard decisions for her family...a young woman stuck in some bad ruts...and our dear family in New Jersey who just lost their precious only son heavy on my heart.

"Benevolent Detachment" is a term John Eldredge uses often in his book on resilience, and it involves genuinely giving to the Lord His people...His creation...His work. It means living and walking in patterns of genuine giving of everyone and everything to God. 

For the first time in a long time, as these beloved sisters shared with me their hearts and tears, I wept with them without guilt, without despair, without trying to figure out what to do to fix it for them. I didn't feel responsible. I didn't feel overwhelmed. I didn't try to take their stones and carry them.  

I wept with them, easily, because God weeps with them too. I prayed over them, because that is the most sacred privilege in the world, coming alongside a brother or sister at His throne. I gave them to Him, one burden after another. The life of God--powerful, ever-renewing, life-giving--was flowing through me, and His love, His help, His peace--what they TRULY needed--was coursing through our conversations and tears.

I could detach from personal responsibility and personal effort (if you've ever met me, this has always felt impossible...I am SUCH a "carrier"!) because His tender mercies and lovingkindness are GREATER. Are sufficient. Are what are genuinely needed. EVERYTHING needed in each of these situations is entirely Him...and for once I could give just and exactly that. 

Benevolent detachment, it's the opposite of uncaring or aloof, benevolent detachment. It's the opposite of uninterested or removed.  It's genuinely entrusting to GOD the hearts and lives and burdens of His people. I have failed SO so many by doing my very best for them...presenting my mercy, my compassion, my care with my best intentions....all so pale in comparison to the powerful rivers of Christ's love available and able to be poured out through me!

In turn, Sunday afternoon as I sat outside and lifted each of these precious women to Him again,  I felt genuinely refreshed, genuinely full of His joy and peace, genuinely trusting Him. His glorious redeeming work, what is so badly needed, is in full motion, and I love Him. I trust Him. I believe Him.

Our girls got back Sunday evening after a fantastic four days of preaching and worship and prayer, and I am so grateful for His relentless grace and lovingkindness to each of them. I get to disciple and love and lay down my life and  minster to these dear girls.  But I'm not meant to carry them.  God has that well covered, and I can trust Him.

Heading into a busy new school year for Matt, for three in school and four at home, this new-found freedom is SUCH good news.

He is gentle. And He gives good gifts to His children.