His love

Tonight Dawn did her Thursday night magic of giving my kiddos the chance to talk their hearts out.  I took number 4 to the same run down little place she always wants to go. She has hard memories a lot of places, making lots of places hard to go...even places no one expects, or smells or colors or sights or foods she didn't realize were an issue 'till they hit her.  But as soon as she slid into that same squeaky teal booth tonight, it was like all the thoughts and fears and joys of the last 8 or so weeks since last date night had been carried around in a suitcase that suddenly burst open. 

My whole meal was ordered and eaten and dear girl had waved her burger in the air for an hour, talking a mile a minute, and hadn't yet taken one bite. 

Told me about all her bad dreams...fears that never would have occurred or made any sense to Sofie-girl. Told me the things she's excited about. Blessed kid things. Told me what she's doing well and what she's not, never paused, never looked down, never hid behind her hair, never hesitated before sharing. 

I never would have dreamed when Dawn first came along-side our family how quick and anxious my children would be to share their hearts with me and how precious these few hours each Thursday evening would be!  What a gift.

We've come such, such a long way. I cannot see His future for her, but I can see His love for her, and her growing in it.

His love for all my children is so clear and so big and trusted that I can't help but be reminded of His love for me through it. 

If you don't see His love and adoption and grace and perseverance on yourself, look for it in someone else, and there it is.  If you don't see His future for you...look for His love, and trust it.

I promised a few friends to say more about the "Turning 12 Trip", so if you're interested...below.

At age 12 in our family, the same sex parent takes the child for a fun, instructional, gift-giving trip.  We want to have some fun with them, but more importantly, we want to have plenty of time to give them a few intentional gifts, letters from people who know them, love them, pray for them, and minister to them. I asked friends and family to tell our girls what they see in them, His gifts, His hand in His life...personal, spiritual, hopeful, and we have gotten the most precious insights for the girls to hold onto forever.  Lily's book I put together with these letters will be the only one of our children to have a letter from Grandpa...but Cindy took the time to write one for Sofie from them both.  

It's important to Matt and I that we get some lessons to them before adolescence, so that they are learning about God's plan for puberty, sex, and marriage from us, from His Word, from the start.  I also explain how we are going to handle issues associated with dating, give them letters, and I also give them some gifts throughout the weekend...their first full, "real", journaling Bible, pens, a journal, a promise ring, some fun, basic makeup, soap, deodorant, shaving kit, etc. 

I have found these conversations and teaching time FAR less intimidating by reading this book with the girls (also have the below version for boys) and then talking about their questions and adding my own thoughts and heart each chapter as we go.  I've gone through a lot of books in preparing, and this one is my favorite for this trip.  The whole series really is SO well done, thorough, clear, Biblical...a great resource. 

Sex and the New You, Girls 12-14

Sex and the New You, Boys 12-14

If I can help you think through something like this for your own kiddos or family, I'd LOVE to...reach out!