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28 May 2023

at all times

 On the 20th anniversary of mom's death, the 25th, Sofie, Emma and I headed for Laurel, Mississippi and had such a precious 24 hour getaway. I love focused time on any one of my kiddos, but these "turning 12" trips are so fun and intentional and precious. I can't believe I am about to have a 14, 13, 12 and 11 year old girl in my care. For a woman who feared the teenage years, we are taking them fuller on than I ever expected, and stepping away with Sofie to look at God's plan for the teenage years was good for mama to remember, too.

We are officially DONE with school this year, yes, even Algebra, and we're settling into our summer schedule, which I am guarding from busy-ness aggressively.  

I cannot believe mom's been gone 20 years, and of course, it's had my heart hurting for my father extra. I know I'm saying the same things, but I can't believe I lost mama at 20 and dad at 40 and all the extra parts of mom we lost by losing dad.  Driving the two hours home with Sofie, so badly we wanted to call Grandpa and fill him in on our time away. How easily I sway towards feeling badly for myself and my children for not having Grandma and Grandpa in their lives.

Quickly after the pity comes the reminder that Gaga and Hannah came and helped with the other five kiddos while mom and Sofie and Emma were gone...a Godly grandma and auntie who are too God-given for His provision to be overlooked.  Quickly after every May 25th comes the reminder that Aunt Sharon celebrates her birthday on the same day.  In bitter loss is also His sweet provision and His promises are faithful and true. 

So here are a bunch of random photos from that past few days, and a sacred Psalm He met me with my morning away, two girlies in their beds (turns out everyone wakes up really early at the Ayars house because BEN wakes everyone up really early :)

I will bless the Lord at all times;
his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
Those who look to him are radiant
and their faces shall never be ashamed

Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord,
for those who fear him have no lack!
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

When the righteous cry for help, 
the Lord hears and delivers them out of their troubles
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all
The Lord redeems the life of his servants;
none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.













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