gift weekend

Man!  We are safely back in Columbus after a full four days in Atlanta...and what a whirlwind of great new memories and emotions!  

I haven't laughed or cried that much in a long time....and I'm pretty sure that's why you do girl weekends!

Frankly, we spend a lot of time being foreigners.  No matter how long we've been in Haiti, we're never going to be Haitian.  And the longer we're there, the more foreign and out of place we sometimes feel in North America.   Then, almost the entire time we're in North America, we are traveling and speaking, and therefore, are almost always visitors.

So what a gift...to have two friends who have known us long enough (since before Matt and I started dating), are good friends with us both, spent enough time in Haiti with us, been with our girls enough and stayed in touch enough for us to just be ourselves and pick up where we left off.  

They're special girls, Mia and Elisa, and always take advantage of time with us as a time to minister to us in an intimate way only someone who has known us for along time and knows our friends and family, struggles and victories in Haiti could.

Just a few of the things I learned this weekend...

1)  We are never not going to need people.  The ridiculous, self-giving, generous love the girls and I received from Mia, Elisa, Craig and Deb (Elisa's parents who work with us in Haiti 2 weeks a year) and some of their friends this weekend was beautiful.  We're never not going to need loved on.  

2)  Worshipping with community in our heart language will always be sweet.  We don't have the chance often.  And when we do, we are frequently also preaching or presenting in that service.  To be at Sojourn and have a chance to sing praises to Him I've got hidden in my heart but haven't slipped my lips in years and to pour over my Bible IN English next to friends who have shared with me through thick and thin will always be powerful.  The church, with all her problems, is His bride nonetheless.

3)   Seeing what God's doing in others through gifts and ways and passions SO different than our own is INSPIRING.  Just the Christ-followers we spent time with this weekend and seeing Him at work in them in such unique and creative and powerful ways was so moving to me.  Christ in each of us...and our openness and obedience to His voice...truly is the hope of glory!

4)  Sharing our children with each other is precious.  While we've seen Lily and Sofie bless and be blessed by many in Haiti, we rarely get to share and introduce our girls with friends and family in the States.  Watching Lily and Sofie love and be loved by their Aunts was such a heart-touching joy for me.

5)  Loving people for who they are, not for what they do/look like/love/choose is so Of God.  Part of what touched my heart so much throughout the weekend was the reminder that these friends don't care what we've accomplished, what we look like, where we live, how many times our kids spill milk on their carpet, the fact that I talk to myself (oh yeah, it's getting worse), etc...unconditional love.  It's not just how we're supposed to love our BFs.  It's how we're supposed to LOVE.  

6)  Starbucks makes ice cream.  Contrary to popular opinion, they only make coffee flavored ice cream.  But oh man.  Java Chip Starbucks Ice Cream?  WOW.

7)  He is.

I know. That seems weird.  But long story short, I have to admit, stepping into their lives this weekend was a little painful for me.  Their house was so cute.  And they have jobs they don't raise support for.  And a dishwasher.  Cute cars.  Fashionable clothes and jewelry for their jobs.  Privacy.  A great home church, tons of friends, social lives.  A summer bucket-list of art museums and new restaurants.  Friends with kids Lily and Sofie's age in playgroups and summer camps.

They are younger than me, and in many American standard ways, far more accomplished and settled.

There was this part of me that was a little jealous and a little sad.  We don't live in Haiti and travel constantly and own nothing and sweat constantly because it was our ideal life.  Just like Mia and Elisa, our lives are not our own.  And seeing how God has set up THEIR life made me whine a bit to Him about how He's set up MINE.  I wish I had some of those things in my life.    

And as I talked to Him about that "other" life I wish sometimes I had, some of those "other" ministries and relationships that would be great to be a part of, He let me mourn a bit.  Wiped my tears.  And reminded me kindly that the only thing that matters is: He Is.  

And you know what?  He is.  and I trust Him.  I realized through my tears that I truly do.  

There's a lot that doesn't make sense in life, even in my own heart.  There are things we all want we may never have.  Things we think we need that we'll learn we don't.  Things we thought we'd do we never will.  Things we thought we'd never do now on our plates.  People we thought we'd have we don't, and others we never dreamed to know, and now love.  

And I don't have to worry about any of that.  He'll take our dreams, and shape them.  He'll take our broken hearts, and redeem them.  He'll give and take and bring and send and let and stop.  

And I trust Him.

Now THAT was a good weekend.  

 Mia and Elise, I love you! Thank you for loving us.  You are dear.

for the beauty of the earth

We officially love Marietta.

It's beautiful.  Aunt Elisa and Maria live here.  There are lots of peaches.  Can't beat all that!

This morning we went to the farmer's market, and while Lily was a little disappointed that there were no "mountains of stinky chickens" like the Haitian marketplace, it was a lot of fun!

Yesterday they took us to the Georgia Aquarium, which was just fantastic. 

A few days ago in our morning devotions, the girls and I talked about how God created the world and everything in it, and called it all good.

To be surrounded by so much of that fascinating, colorful, and intricate GOOD creation has been just powerful.

It's been relaxing, refreshing and restoring to be surrounded by so much of that creation, by unconditional friends and by a few days OFF to really relish those All-Powerful, Creative and Majestic aspects of our God. 

It also gives me great mom-joy to see the girls so mesmerized, happy, almost healthy, and relaxed.

This was as close to livestock as Marietta's farmers market got!

Lily LOVES having her aunts to play with AND talk to.  About.  Everything.

Even with ALL of this intricate, delicate, personalized and exceptional design and creation,  it is US  He formed in His image.  Man and woman that He blessed. 

All the stars and the mountains and oceans and galaxies were nothing compared to how much God loves His children.  

After all that love has cost Him, he just continues to love and pursue us.

All that He has made, He has loved...

and each of us, lovely, because He has loved us.

anniversaries

I will always remember the day I came back to my room my sophomore year of college and told my best friend and room-mate that I thought I wanted to date Matt Ayars.

"Matt AYARS?" She looked at me in disbelief.  "Like, the Matt Ayars you are always fighting with, and always complain about, and you can't stand him, and he can't stand you either?  And remember last week when you said you were never dating again ever and were going to be a single, strong missionary all of your life?"

"Uh, yeah.  That Matt Ayars.  I think I like him now."

Nineteen months later we were married, and today, it's been six years!

What drove me nuts about Matt Ayars and what I have come to greatly value was that he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear and didn't put me first in his life.  He was searching out the Lord, and wanted that for me, as well.  I love being second in Matt's life, and love that to this day, he is still way more interested in our personal relationships with the Lord than with what others think or the pressures of the world.  

It has been a beautiful six years and I am grateful everyday for a truly God-given husband and Godly dad for my girlies!

...AND Miss Sofie has been with us ONE week today!  Hard to believe...time is already flying!  She has slept 6.5 of those 7 days :)  Her one week appointment went great, she's gained some weight and is doing well.

I feel so incredibly blessed.

Grandpa was dehydrated, but it led to some more major issues.  He's still in the ICU and they are trying to get his medication regulated.  He's doing well though and my dad has been there and will be until tomorrow.  Then, my sister will be driving out there for a few day, and Matt and I will be there on the 20th.  Thank you for all your prayers!

Aunt Lisa plans to keep the girls tonight so that Matt and I can go out to dinner.  We also had good friends come and spend the day with us this afternoon (Scott and Lacey), and were able to catch up with good friends yesterday at their pool...Lily LOVES going to "Jenn's House", playing with Erika and Lydia and with their kid goggles, was swimming better than ever.