trusting Him to do what He does

Things that are making today a beautiful day: 

1- After 5 days without, the internet is finally up and running again!

2- I received a bag of Valentine's Day conversation heart candy yesterday from my aunt.  Oh yeah.

3- "Duncle Don" is a Machine.  He knocked out my "Hunnie Do" list within 2 hours of arrival, he's now knocking out tons of unfinished projects in the men's dorm, and he's preparing supplies and work for a team from Sharptown Church coming in April!  And chasing Lily around the house.

4- Everyone is enjoying the Easely's being here, especially Lily who is blissfully loving having 6 children to play with each day.  

5- Dodo and Bubba definitely make the list, while they do laundry, clean and cook for the Easley family, all tasks which in their absence, fall on Matt and I...A BIG job for such a busy time!  I retract all previous indirect blog statements that may or may NOT have been about them being old.  

6- Clear reminders of His faithfulness.  

It's that 6th blessing that truly changes life.  Everytime someone or a situation encourages me to "step out on faith" I think of that scene in Indiana Jones where he stands before a bottomless canyon.  About 15 feet away, he can see the doorway and the passage where he needs to go, but there is NOTHING between him and that doorway.  

However, his guide book tells him he must take a leap of faith.  His father's life is at stake (and his father happens to be heart-throb Sean Connery, so...yeah, this is important!) so closing his eyes, he steps off the cliff.  Two feet below him, he lands on a stone bridge so perfectly camouflaged that you couldn't see it until you were standing on it.  

Two weeks ago, something truly devastating hit our little family.  Trust was destroyed, an intimate relationship deeply bruised, and a lot of pain and uncertainty involved.  This, time and time again and every time, whether apparent or not, is what sin does.  It ruins all basis for relationship, causes separation, and hurts everyone involved, not just the person who choose the sin.

For these past two weeks, we have stewed, talked, prayed and pondered what our response to the situation needed to be, and how in the world we were going to live with whatever that response was.  On Friday afternoon, the Lord planted Lucner in my mind, and all weekend when I thought about the situation, I felt clearly that I needed to "talk to Lucner."  

So, Monday morning we shared the situation with him, and I knew based on our relationship, history and respect for Lucner as a Godly and wise man, and the clear way that I had been directed to him, that pretty much whatever he advised, we would probably follow. 

And he gave us good and Godly counsel.  And I knew it was good and Godly as I heard it.  But it was also heartbreaking counsel, and I was crying before he even finished, knowing that what we needed to do would be one of the hardest things I've done, and that it would leave us having some major needs with NO plans or even ideas on how to meet them.

So yesterday, for the sake of something worth it--His holiness, in a heap of tears--I stepped out of the doorway seeing no bridge below me.  It was so darn painful that I cried more yesterday than I have in months (I am also 29 weeks pregnant...might have something to do with it :).  And as soon as my foot left that ledge, I doubted.  

We had done the wrong thing.  What was I thinking?  How could something so painful for everyone be the right thing?  What in the WORLD were we going to do now?  How in the world were our needs going to be met?  

And you know what?  NOT because I had at all merited it, but just because He is Faithful, He was.  Almost immediately, He sent the perfect person at the right time with words of His perfect peace and assurance.  Almost immediately, He sent a solution, a GREAT solution, for our pressing needs.  And a few hours later, He sent an additional solution.

Though I was afraid and doubted, He helped us step out on faith nonetheless, and then blessed us immediately for it.  Met us, as promised.

When I say, "step out on faith", I'm talking not talking about faith that it would be ok.  ONLY talking about Faith in Him.  

I had faith (though my emotions didn't match it) that if He knows when every sparrow falls, He would take care of me, take care of my little ones.  If He clothes each flower, that He would care for the situation, and each person involved.  Though I saw no possible way that it could be ok.  

It has me wondering this morning...HOW MANY TIMES do I suffer the consequences of NOT having that faith?  How often have I, AM I, missing out on completely impossible to foresee-- yet PERFECT-- blessings, answers and parts of my life, because I was never willing to step out on HIS faithfulness?

Because I didn't TRULY trust Him?  Or because I only truly trust Him when I can clearly see in advance some possible things He could do about it?  

What a lesson I am learning (again/still) about He and I.  Do I trust Him with our lives or not?  Do I trust Him with Lily and Sofie, or not?  Do I trust Him with Emmaus?  With the students? With the staff?  With the future?  Is it all mine, or is it His?  And if it is His, do I trust Him to take care of it?

If trusting Him was comfortable, well, then it just wouldn't be following Christ.  It hasn't been comfortable yet, and I don't imagine it will be in the days ahead.  

Let me encourage you, and please keep encouraging me: whatever we are each facing, in our lives, in our jobs, or even just in our hearts -- trust Him with it completely taking whatever leap of faith in Him that we are avoiding...allowing Him to do what He does best, the impossible and the perfect.

faith like potatoes and Abraham

Just this morning, I was reading through James, and the Holy Spirit was leaping the words of the pages of my Bible, making verses that I've read through many times before come to life. I don't know HOW God's Word, not matter where I'm led, continues to speak right to the heart of where I am: from the heart of my problem to the heart of His solution. It chisels away at my inward bend, revamps my attitude, takes away my breath with praise, stabilizes my feet on my Firm Foundation.

I've been feeling HUNGRY, lonely, insecure, human, and been feeling frustrated.

So I open the Word to the next chapter, and it is James 1...

"Consider it all joy when you encounter various trials...

If you lack wisdom, ask God, who will give it to you generously....

Ask in faith with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind....

Every good thing is from above, coming from the Father with whom there is NO variation or shifting shadow....

Prove yourself to be a DOER of the Word, not just a delusional hearer...

Keep yourself unstained by the world...

Wisdom that comes from Him is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, FULL of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy...

Submit to God. Resist the devil. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you...

Humble yourself in the presence of the Lord...

To one who knows the right thing to do, and yet does not do it, to him it is a sin...

The prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months. Then he prayed again, and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit."

I've been thinking about these things all day, especially about having FAITH. NOT the kind of faith that I'm comfortable with, the "Everything will turn out ok" faith, but the "It did not rain on the earth for 3 years and six months" rain.

Then, for no reason, we decided tonight for 'date night' to finally watch a movie Troy and Trent sent in:

It is based on the book, which is the true story of a South African farmer who comes to know the Lord and is transformed by Him. From miracle rains, to a woman raising from the dead, to potatoes planted in dust and growing to a huge crop with almost no rain whatsoever, time after time that the farmer stepped out on faith and trusted the Lord, really trusted Him, He did it, in His own time and in His own way.

Lori, I've been promising for weeks to tell you this story, and tonight's the night. One of our students, a humble and godly man from my first year of teaching, has been asking me to pray since the moment I met him for he and his wife. For years after marriage they had tried to get pregnant, but lost child after child during her pregnancy. After over 10 years of trying, God finally gave them a son, whom they appropriately named Samuel.

However, they were praying for another, and each day in class he would share a "special prayer request. Please pray that my wife would have a child!" For the first several weeks of class, I said, "OK, we will pray!" but after a while, I questioned the situation. I soon found out that his wife was 39, that they had lost countless numbers of children, and that they only had one son, Samuel, who was now 9 years old.

Sauvelt himself was in his 40's, and I "wisely" began to realize that he was NOT going to have another child. Nonetheless, he asked us to pray for a child every single day of class my entire first year of teaching. He moved on to second year, and yet continued to ask me to pray for a child each time I asked about his family. I wanted to tell him SO many times about the 'reality' of the situation...that his wife was too old, there was clearly a medical problem, and to be satisfied with the miracle of Samuel and to move his prayers on to something more...possible, more probable. I even prayed many times, "Lord, help Sauvelt to not be too disappointed, help his heart! He is so earnest and in love with you, take care that his heart isn't broken by not having another child!

First week of school this year, I see Sauvelt, 3rd year student. "Savuelt! So good to see you!" I greeted him sincerely. "How is your wife? Samuel?"

"Oh, they are very good in the name of Jesus," he told me. "My wife, she will have the baby soon."

I almost missed the miracle because of the matter-of-fact way in which he said it.

"WHAT??!?"

"The baby! She is many months pregnant and will have our baby soon, if the Lord wills!" he said again, sincerely and joyfully, but in a very matter-of-fact manner.

He has always believed that the Lord could do it, and therefore is not at all surprised that He DID do it...I felt small and foolish, as I do again now just recalling the story, at my pathetic, reality-sized faith.

The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. James 5:16

I would not have prayed for no rain for 3 years, would not have planted potatoes in the dust, would not ever have put aside baby clothes for Sauvelt. HOW MUCH could He have done by my faith that He hasn't ever been trusted or even asked to do?

Do you trust me? I am READY to see what that looks like...