Advent : the Sacrifice

Haiti, Haiti was a lot of things. 

It stretched without ceasing. Injustices, true injustice, it made it hard to breathe. 

So much the first worlds have the luxury to bury, Haiti wears on top, in your face. 

We lived horrible betrayals, and shared with the Mighty One so many heartbreaks, deep and true. We fought so many, so many dark battles, stayed up so many nights with the drums pounding. 

We prayed like we'd never prayed before and went places I never dreamed of going. We hurt alongside burdens we couldn't even begin to touch, we held and prayed and fed and gave and man alive, I am privileged to shudder with so many beautiful and painful scars.

But tell it to you straight, America. I was never, ever lonely. 

This. This is a new ache, friends, that I can't seem to shake all these months in.

We were so accustomed to hurts being brought and shared, victories being celebrated for all, the burdens borne on many shoulders and on many knees.  

We were often needed, and we needed much. 

We all gave and received and gave and received again, and that was the beauty of living in broken and hopeful community.

I don't know how everyone does it alone, so well, in this culture. I don't know how everyone carries it so well alone. I don't know how so isolated has worked for so long, nor how to enter in. 

I am not accustomed. 

I'm not accustomed. 

As we started our day in jammies with muffins this morning, the Family Tree of Christ growing on the wall behind me, we talked about the Lord asking Abraham to sacrifice his only son.The promise that took so very long, the one that required so many miracles and so much faith, was finally the joy of Abraham and Sarah's lives.  

And God asked for him back.

Though all the questions the girls had were legit for this questionable history, Abraham was the same strong, silent type we found a few chapters earlier when he was told to go, and he went. 

Take your son, your only son, the one you love, and offer him as a burnt offering.

So Abraham got up early and saddled his donkey.

I realized as I read to them this morning that my frustration and bitterness and cynicism and loneliness have been growing instead of being sacrificed back to Him.

And as I read of Abraham's child-like faith and teary eyes and open hands, I realized anew that as believers, we have no right nor future in making a pattern of questioning the Lord...in pointing out all the issues of the world, the countries, the church, our neighbors...we have no right nor future in growing weary of doing good...of allowing bitterness to settle in...of allowing frustration to squelch our fight in and for His kingdom...no right to take what God has given us and then refuse to give it back the same way He gave it.

Do you know the sacrifice He desires for the forgiveness He has given?  He wants us to FORGIVE.

truly. sacrificially. painfully. without "buts!" or fingers pointed or grudges stored.

Do you know the offering He desires for His grace upon grace in our lives?  He wants us to EXTEND CRAZY GRACE.

Do you know what He asks for as we receive daily His abundant love?  He asks us to LOVE our neighbors, our family, our enemies. Regardless. Regardless. To stalk them with His love, to kill them with His kindness, to be made foolish unto Him.

Do you know what He has miraculously provided, family, and now is asking for back?  

Exactly what He has freely given us. 

He is not asking for our version of kind. Our version of sacrifice. Our version of loving. Our version of forgiveness. Our version of family. He isn't asking for our take, for our experience, for our wheelhouse, for our version.

He is asking for EXACTLY what He gave us, BACK again.

That which the Almighty has shown us, family, we must be showing.

That which He has mercifully dealt us, we must mercifully deal.

All that we are tempted to withdraw and despair...He Christmased, instead.

This advent, may we show what we've been shown no. matter. what--shining like stars in the universe--and not alone.