the ayars affairs: Advent : Cruddy Family

This morning, the girls asked me about Nikki...you know, dear Nikki who lived with us for almost 2 years as family and made the traumatic start of this transition to the States with us, too.

Embarrassed, I confessed to them that I hadn't spoken to Nikki in at least a few months, but that I would be sure to get in contact and find out how she is doing.

Tonight, out of nowhere, without me following up on my promise, Nikki texted me, and I learned that Nikki's grandpa, whom she's always been so close to, passed away a few weeks ago.

I had NO idea. I could give a lot of excuses, but reality is that I had NO idea because I have been rotten family, so focused on my own struggles that I haven't given two seconds to a sister I care deeply about...and she is not the only one.

I've been teaching the kids a lot, these past few advent days, about family. Can't do advent without doing family...it's all up in there.

We've talked about how God sent Jesus through a family...so that we could be adopted into HIS family.

About how God promised Abraham TONS of family, pointed out among the stars one night long ago a twinkling Lily...a one day Sofie, shining bright...Nora's little light...one day Ben among them.

God promised through Abraham's family the One we'd all been waiting for, the way to adoption, the way to family.

Family with GOD. His CHILDREN, because of Christmas.

Father Abraham had many sons. Many sons had Father Abraham.

And they were a MESS.

Abraham's starry night promises, breathed in the presence of God under a canopy of unfathomable twinkling darkness, were hot messes.

They screwed up again, and again and again, sometimes by nature. Lots of times on purpose.

They were selfish. They were broken. They were fighting and pushing and striving and failing and finite.

They hit the rocks with sticks, not faith. They broke His commandments of stone, and His heart. They killed one another and followed after worthless idols and thought about themselves above their brothers and focused far more on their stars than on His promises.

Father Abraham's sons, they were a mess. And I am one of them. And so are you.

So let's just praise the Lord.

Because He knew all that broken when He deliberately sent His precious Son through a broken family. It was through the very failures that He sent Hope for failure. It was through the selfish that He sent freedom from self. It was through death that He brought Life, through ugly people He extended something breathtaking.

The very Christmas we are dying for this year, family, He sent because we NEED it desperately, not because we are rock stars. The very grace His coming was, is the very grace we never could earn. The very miracle of Christmas IS the miracle of Christ come through cruddy family like ME, for cruddy family like ME.

For all the places I fall so short and have so failed, for all the places the world groans and aches, for all the family so dysfunctional...

For all and exactly who and where we are, there is Christmas.

Christ. Come. In.

Don't think for a minute that this world, that this country, that this church, that this family is too messed up to be used. That it is beyond His hope. That our utter unworthiness to be in His family negates His adoption of us in any way.

I praise the LORD tonight that Christ comes through and to failed family like ME.