what was needed

 Yesterday afternoon, Emmaus threw us a surprise little/big party...a sacred time of worship. Some of the men we have worked with all the way from 2007 sharing some of the highlights of the past many years. Students, staff, friends and even some alumni having a chance to say a few things. Having the chance to say a few things ourselves. There was delicious food and beautiful cake and there were thoughtful gifts and sweltering heat and many precious moments I'll always remember, some words I will always hold onto.

My eyes are still puffy, and I can't get into it again this morning, still much I need to process.  For so many years, everything has been about what was needed here in Haiti, and I praise the Lord, last night, that He gave US what we needed, too...just as He always does. 

I wanted to share what I shared on Facebook late last night.

I told the Lord a hundred times as we packed that I didn’t even begin to know what we needed from this precious time in Haiti. I told Him I KNEW I didn’t know...but begged Him to give it to us, anyway.

What we needed was today.

The chance, all our beautiful family in one place, to remember these long years together and to laugh and cry and marvel at His faithfulness. We needed to remember, through our family and students and staff and co-workers and friends, all that He has accomplished through all of us together, for His Glory! We needed the opportunity to share the rocky, clinging journey of the last eight months. We needed the chance to remind Haiti that she has never been a third, fourth, fifth world country to the Ayars, and never will be...but HOME.

We needed to thank so, SO many for teaching our family about family. We needed the chance to stand with our faithful staff and friends and feel their love and pour it all back. We needed to sit at the foot of our mountain and praise.

How we cherished the chance to thank Granny for bouncing baby Lily on her lap while I taught, to thank Yves for circling our house in prayer the night that Ben was born. To thank so many for being our dear, true friends, coming into our lives every hour and joy and pain of the days, allowing us to minister and preach and pray and grow alongside, for allowing us to overlap sweet and sweaty and imperfectly into theirs.

We needed Aunt

Sharon Mishler

to be there, and we needed our children running around underfoot. We needed a cake, dang it, that said “Deep Love.”

We needed to tell Emmaus face to face that every day—insanely hard or ridiculously sweet—has been an honor and a priviledge, poured out. We needed the chance to say that we may not live in Haiti every day any more...but we will always be alongside.

Lots of people worked hard all day and long into the night tonight to remind us that we are loved, and to let us remind them that we love them, too.

That was what we needed.