piles of stones

Today is Benjamin Asher's 2nd birthday.  We got home from Kansas at 2 am this morning and spent the day doing laundry and trying to regroup from a lot of late nights and an intense road trip. But Thursday, we celebrated with his godparents, with a soccer ball cake and some fun, precious people.

He is so loved by his sisters.

Ben's birthday is always such a kicker for me. Never in my life have I really felt and seen the dripping, palpable goodness and presence of the Lord like I did the day we met him. 

His whole existence was a leap of faith, and time and time again he pushed the boundaries of what I felt I could do...and what the Lord was going to have to. If it's in our weakness that He is strong, God used Ben to teach me that. You can read the whole story here, but in a nutshell: 

In a very unsettling time in Haiti (walking to church two days before his birth)..

In a lot of uncertainty, 

in many moments of doubt and disciplining my mind to trust in Jesus,

in the middle of the night while the girls were sleeping,

in the middle of our little house in the middle of a little island,

God perfectly arranged the EXACT people in the exact place and the exact time needed.

Everything I needed, EVERYTHING--even a friend walking around our house all night, praying for me--to deliver a 9.5 lb baby boy, at home, 

in the middle of intense political instability and so much uncertainty at 35 years old...

He was just SO certain for me.

For us.

He helped me in 100 ways I could NOT help myself, and I'll ALWAYS remember that on Ben's birthday.

If our forefathers set up piles of stones to remember places God met them, that's our Benjamin Asher, son of our right hand, with happiness.

In a very unsafe time, and a potentially very unsafe situation, our hands very much so gripping no plan but Him...the Lord, the Lord was our safety. 

It's a good reminder for me today, where "safety", again, has pushed it's way to the forefront of our daily minds.

So many times, 13 years in Haiti, did Matt remind me that we would walk the line between wisdom and trust, and somehow I thought moving to America would be more like walking the line between Dairy Queen and Baskin Robbins.

It is not Haiti. LIFE. Life is walking between wisdom and trust, and there is no room on that line for fear or foolishness, not when the line is in the palm of His hand.

As we struggle, as we ALL do, I remember how sweet the bitterly fearful time of Ben's birth became, utterly due to complete dependence upon our Lord, mighty to save.

He carries on, unshaken. May we carry on, too, wise and trusting He who is able!