nag on

Matt's having a wonderful and busy time at conference, preaching at least once a day and spending a lot of time with the many pastors and families there, the kids and I have had a busy and good time at home, with new friends, with neighbors, school and chores and pets.

As we all so dearly miss old friends, we cannot overlook how the Lord has brought so many new men, women and kiddos into our lives, adding laughter to evening walks, conversation to doorsteps, new friends willing to be transparent friends as we seek to love every person we come in contact with well. Lady Jane texted me (heavens, I hope I'm texting and looking lovely at 89) that the Lord shares His family with those who love Him, and He most certainly has...again...in another place where we had none, and He's brought quite a few people who need His love into our lives, too.

On top of all the pains of adjusting and starting over, of momming and living and ministry so drastically different... several dear, close friends are hurting, badly, and being unable to fix it just kills me (if you're new here, I'm a hard-core fixer...it is my strength and blazing weakness.) There is plenty on the homefront for Him to do. So much I cannot.

Helpless has rather been my word this season...unable to fix things, change things, heal things, do them the "right way", not even my own things.

I know He's got a sweet spot for helpless. I know He's got power for weakness. I know He does. I'm sitting in it, that sweet spot, I guess...waiting for every bitter thing to be sweet...waiting for those beauty for ashes moments.

Heavy my prayers, heavy my prayers.

As I change diapers and wipe counters and vacuum vans and mop floors and fold tea towels, again and again (I just can't get used to the land of the paper towel and have given up trying) I just lay on the heavy prayers for all the many heartbreaks I am helpless to touch.

While I'm the frustrated, hard-core fixer, He is not.

Not frustrated. Not helpless. No hands too short like mine.

I can't see them fixing, not right now, not yet, not in any of these situations. But I do trust His hands, and know them to be holding all this mess, holding all my helpless, holding all the broken.

I will nag Him. Nag Him, again and again in my prayers, for it annoys Him not...and in five minutes He can change, He can touch, He can heal, He can fix, that which twenty years of my best efforts, twenty years of my best-intentioned worrying, twenty years of my nagging of others, could not.

Nag on with me, friends and family, for there is much to pray for! May we be found faithful in our praying and in our trusting.

 

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