healing in His wings

Hey friends...transparency post ahead, so buckle up for safety.

You all know what a rough, long season this has been for Haiti, for everyone on the island. 

We tend to minimize a lot of the challenges. You gotta keep your chin up, you can't live in fear and discouragement, the suffering is much greater for so many that it keeps it in perspective, etc. 

But in turn, it tends to pile up and pile up and pile up, and with such a hard semester finally at a close followed by two rather traumatic events happening back-to-back last week, Matt was drowning.  

I've gotta say to anyone who struggles with anxiety, depression, burnout, overwhelm, trauma, or who loves someone that does...that dark dark place is DARK. For Everyone.

You know what?

Poured out sometimes means e m p t y. 
On the front lines sometimes means w o u n d e d. 
Taking its toll sometimes means b r o k e.
Busted world sometimes means s h a t t e r e d. 
Giving and giving and giving sometimes means g o n e. 

I have lived to tell the tale that empty, wounded, broken, shattered and gone...He is to be FOUND right there.

In a manger. On a cross.

Praise the Lord, I recognized that his struggle was more than we could struggle alone, and as I called out to the Lord to show me HELP!, He used a good friend to plant a good idea which led to a text which led to a ticket which led to another good friend and psychologist of the Soul Care Project coming for a few days to help us out.

Listen up, buttercup. 

We are strong people, Matt and I, and we have been through a lot lot. But when you need help, you need help. You cry out, and He IS going to be there, and our loving Father will make a way for help and good gifts. 

Everyday, He is our help. And somedays, He sends our help.

THERE IS HELP. 

Even when it doesn't feel possible.  Maybe especially.

The last few days with Michael have been intense. And emotional. And painful.

I guess healing is just like that.

And talking about a lot of the trauma and pain and suffering and struggle of the past 6 months (slash 15 years / we should have done this earlier) feels like filtering through more pain than it might be worth. 

But being healthy and whole is worth it. Being healthy and whole for each other, for our children, for our co-workers, for those we are here to serve, for everyone we come in contact with every day...it is worth it.  

Our utmost for His Highest is worth it.

If we're worth God-made-flesh, if we're worth dying for, then surely whatever it takes is worth living well and whole. 

Keep on fighting for that well and whole, friends. You are greatly LOVED and it is His desire for you.

Whatever you're going through. Wherever you're coming from. Healthy and whole and healed IS His loving desire for your life, and, grace upon sacred grace, it can be found. 

We are SO so so SO so thankful for Michael and all of the help and wisdom and Godly encouragement he has been these last few days helping us work through so many of the hard hard realities, and for his sacrifice in dropping everything and coming to Haiti the week before Christmas to be God's good help!

God's given us what we needed when we needed it, and best, in the dark, hard, bottom places, we have gasped out HELP! and turned around and seen God already there.  Again and again.

What hope that re-instills in me for Haiti, for our precious brothers and sisters, for our precious country.

It's dark, Haiti. It's inventing new ways to fall further, to dig deeper, to despair wider, to pain stronger.  

Sometimes the pain and broken is utterly overwhelming (maybe for you, too?).

But man alive, we call out and He was already here. He is. He will be. 

And if God's meeting me, Haiti, you, in every pain, in every pit, there will ALWAYS be hope, beloved. 

There is hope.  

God come down, meeting us in dark and weary places.  

He is not done, and we will never give up fighting...we will never stop fighting for healthy and whole in Christ in our own lives, and we will never stop fighting for His healing and wholeness for those around us in this broken world...for even the darkness isn't darkness to Him. 

I know you pray for us, for those we love. Thank you.

We are praying for you, and will all be used, if we are willing, in bringing His hope and healing to one another.

Praise the Lord. We are praising the Lord with our whole hearts tonight, for He heard our cries and has answered our prayers with His abundant touch and self. All the broken isn't easy to deal with. 

But He is in the middle.

The Sun of Righteousness will rise

with healing in His wings.

And you will go free,

leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.
Malachi 4