the ayars affairs: grace pizza

I was worried, today, and He met me.

I went through some training once in how to share a ten-second testimony, and as you know, saying things in 10 seconds r-e-a-l-l-y isn't my gift.

But that's my ten second testimony today.

It all felt like too much this morning, and then six more things piled on. Gertha was late, I was trying to do fractions with Lily while spelling painfully with Sofie, who was hot to the touch and coughing, while helping Nora with the letter "R" because she is INSISTING on doing "big girl school" when the girls are, while bouncing Ben who desperately wanted full-attention.

I had to get ready to go the moment Gertha got there because I'm so far behind at work, and this fabulous Emmaus family picture was scheduled for this morning and there were a LOT of chairs and chapel furniture to move, and my English 4 final still needed finished and printed for tomorrow. Then Julie got back from the clinic on my way to work and is sick sick and had me concerned and I want to help with her three littles so she can sleep, and my desk was piled with year-end/month-end issues to work through, and so many emails behind, and then trying to herd everyone for a 100 degree photo (oh my lands, I was pouring) and visitors starting tomorrow and not letting up through May 6th...graduation is next week...

Those age-old lies settled quickly back in.

I'll never be able to do it all, people will be disappointed, it's not going to be enough. I won't be able to do enough, I want to do more, I can't do all that needs and should and could be done.

And I began to worry. Deep, sickening worry.

I kid you not, in the exact same moment of despair, my phone lit up with a text from my friend down the road.

Hey, I'm bringing you pizza tonight.

Desperate, I fought my help-resistor and wrote back, "bring me enough for my family and my sick friend's family, too."

"What kind do you want?"

"It doesn't matter in the least. It's all GRACE pizza."

"Done."

In that very moment, I genuinely felt the Lord put his mighty hand on my tight and overwhelmed chest and remove the worry completely. Reveal the truth completely. Reminded me entirely that He cares for my cares better than I care.

I don't need to be enough. I don't need to do it all. I AM going to disappoint some people. The very best and most of Stacey is NOT going to be enough. Darn right.

But He's enough.

He's enough, and I've got Him.

I literally serve the God who delivers pizza in a country where it doesn't exist, the God who takes our suffocating lies and exchanges them for life-giving truth.

I can serve Him today with love and grace and deep peace in my heart, the best I can with His strength and trusting Him with the rest, or I can waste these days in panic and worry, striving with my insufficiencies and sharing nothing but my worry.

The rest of the day was the proof of His work on my heart...I was at peace, I loved well, I had many sweet moments with students, staff, friends and children...and I didn't get it all done, with joy.

Praying grace pizza--that breakthrough reminder that HE CARES for you and is enough--for you today.

He's enough...and we've got Him.