fleeces and faith

"Do you work at that *bleep* clinic on the top of the mountain where everybody has their babies?" he asked me as he barged through the door, not introducing himself or even saying hello.

"Um, no.  My husband and I aren't in the medical profession? I said, uncertain of what in the world we were talking about.

"Well, is that where you're gonna have this baby, at the clinic on the *bleep* mountain?  'Cause I worked there once, and you don't want to have a baby there, and if you DO, there are mamas who walk down the mountain with their babies hours after having them, and I even saw a few who had a bit of money hop on a motorcycle five *bleep* hours after delivering and ride down the mountain.  Don't you *bleep* go DOIN' THAT" he said loudly, finally holding out his hand and sitting down.

I guess I had assumed that because a church had arranged for this OB/GYN appointment, the doctor probably went to that church, or was a believer.  But I quickly came to realize that this appointment I was looking to find the Lord's peace in was going to be between me and a rough, 60's something, biker-looking, foul-mouthed, straight-shooting man who quickly made it known that he did NOT appreciate his short time many years ago in *bleep* Haiti, working at (you guessed it) some clinic on the top of some mountain, and he also didn't appreciate anyone wasting their lives on preaching a message that "you gotta be some kind of a saint."

I wished Matt was there.  Or that I was wearing clothes. And then I realized that the Lord had opened too many doors for this appointment for me to not see it as a ministry opportunity and to be faithful.

So we talked and talked and he softened. We talked about the girls and about my experience in Haiti, and more about his, and about how strong the women are. We talked about the hard things and the good things, and I thanked him so profusely for seeing me, just one appointment, without ongoing medical care, for checking out a baby he'll play no part in delivering, for giving me good medical advice and council even though I wasn't his patient, even though I don't work on the mountain.

He checked and tested and reviewed and analyzed and questioned and after a long time, the Lord used him to give me the peace I needed, anyway, as our God can.  "I am trying and trying to find something wrong or something to be concerned about, but even with your advanced maternal age and ridiculous choice of living where you live, I can't find one thing to worry about." He finally got up to go, shaking my hand for real this time, and said, "I never thought I'd say this again, but after talking to you, I'm jonesing to go.  When you have this baby, you send us all a picture and tell us the story, 'cause you made my sonogram tech cry, and you made me rethink things, thats for sure."

It was one of many-eth confirmations, all starting a few months ago when we were chatting with our friends Jen and Paul over dinner, and she mentioned that she had several more trips to Haiti planned this year, and would be spending the whole month of July in Haiti this year, too, having a few weeks off from her OB/GYN practice in Oregon.

"Huh!" we said.  "I'm due in July!"

Suddenly, the increasingly strong dream to actually HAVE a baby and bring it HOME, not after five weeks and 2 government offices and not after 3 flights, but that day or the next...the dream of not dragging a newborn (and this time three young children) around in borrowed cars to other people's houses, waiting to go home...suddenly it seemed like maybe it could be possible.

If Jen would be in Haiti, and willing to deliver me?  Maybe if someone from home could come and help us for a week or two, and maybe stay with the girls when I was in labor?  Maybe if a doctor (especially a rough-around-the-edges one, not on board) gave his full blessing.  Maybe if lab work and sonograms all looked good, yes, despite my advanced maternal age.  And finally, if we could find a good place to deliver, then maybe we could?

I was glad to find a woman yesterday whose belly looked bigger than mine.

And yesterday was the final fleece I have no control over.

Dr. Jen and Paul flew in to work at the Bethesda clinic for a week on Wednesday, and Thursday afternoon she was in the truck with Matt, Lily and I, off on horrible roads to tour and question the maternity center that saved Dr. Rodney's little man, born way too early, off to check out the hospital that emergency C-sectioned Kerline and brought miracle baby Christie into our lives, off to check out the hospital where a woman we had only heard of, and yet Matt and I oddly saw and met a few weeks ago when we were on date night, works and got us an appointment.

Because Tata had dear John Kennedy in her mud-floor home in the dark all alone, and many and most do the same...but I am just not that strong.  Haiti's in my heart but obviously not my blood, and even as I imagine delivering Ben in the clean hospital we toured yesterday, with a BYO-OB/GYN and an OB/GYN on staff, too, with all the wonderful nurses we met who graciously fielded our questions, even with the knowledge that they usually have electricity, that the room has a fan (delivering in JULY with no a/c is no joke) and that they actually have a few private rooms...it is by faith and relying fully on His strength and not my own that we drove away knowing that the Lord has opened all the doors.

We could deliver in Haiti, 60 minutes from home, and bring our little man right home to a house-full of eager little girls.  And so with all those fleeces in place and with the knowledge of His sufficiency, that is finally, officially, the plan.

We'll be in the States right after graduation (check out our schedule at the top of the page, under "2018!"), spend a few weeks visiting family, doing doctors and dentists and Dairy Queens, speaking in a few churches, support raising for EBS a couple of weekends, attending a few meetings and catching up on a few things and some beautiful people, and then return to Haiti near the end of June, to deliver in July and be home this summer!  The girls can attend VBS and sports camp at their school with their friends, we can actually be working at Emmaus and getting some summer rest before everything picks up in a big way in August, and Ben can get his papers and passport from the US Embassy in Port-au-Prince in a day when we got to visit Greg and Cathie.

I'm thankful for this ongoing journey...for the way God uses people we never expected, for the way the Lord lines stuff up we never could have, for the way people step up in major ways to come and to help and to even deliver our babies!, for the the way God works intimately in our lives and hearts, and most, for His strength, which is not just for baby day, not just for Haiti, but for YOU and for I and for TODAY and NOW and HERE. Even the courage He calls us to take up is not by our own strength, is it.

So be praying, praying for the people in each our lives who are rough-around-the-edges, far-from-God, praying for those opoprtunites.  Be praying for the many MAJORITY women around the world who deliver and live and raise babies where there is no doctor, where there is no quality medical care, where there is no access, where there is no a/c.  Pray for the people who are going and giving and providing and sacrificing, and be one of them, right where you are or somewhere else. And if you have a minute left, pray for this big-bellied, elderly sister down in Haiti, that I might be Martha unto His people, those who know Him and those who don't, and Mary in my heart, at His feet, drawing all I need from Him.