If you need a pick-me-up, this is not the post for you.
First, if I have EVER loved our students, I loved them today. They are proud of Emmaus, and that just SHONE today. We told them to be honest and to be themselves, and together they have cleaned and prepared and they organized a beautiful chapel service today with worship and dance and everyone was dressed to the nines and just, just... glowing. I love that they are proud and that they are the men and women that they are. They are WHY we've all worked so hard together on this accreditation process.
Matt and I are taking turns reminding ourselves and our staff that the committee is like doctors. They are NOT here to tell us our hearts are beautiful and that our teeth look awesome and that we are super-toned. They are not here to point out or acknowledge anything good or positive at all. They are here to tell us where we are WEAK.
And they are.
And it was really hard today to keep up our courage.
Keeping that ministry AND professional balance isn't always easy! For example, we have a work study program available for students who cannot afford to live and eat on campus. If they apply to work 10 hours a week in the yard and cleaning classrooms and dishes, etc, they can live and work here for free. I love that about Emmaus, and it's enabled MANY students who would never have been able to come, come.
However, it costs X each semester to feed and house a student, and we're charging them 0. And even though they're working 10 hours a week, we're paying them 0 for their work. And even though everyone understands the values and reasons and all that, the labor-for-cost transaction is not being reflected appropriately, with us charging X but the cost being Y and the labor owing W...Lots of things like that we need to correct and develop and work on.
Another example is that most of our staff have been students that the administration for years has worked alongside of, saw great things in them, and hired them. Most times, job postings weren't opened up. Many of them had the character required, but didn't have official, formal training for those positions. Our head cook never went to culinary school, and most of our security guards not only didn't go to security/police schools, but they cannot read or write. Our librarians do not have degrees in library science.
We do a lot at Emmaus based on character and relationship and calling and leading and life-on-life. But there aren't forms in the files for that, not statistics or application processes.
And I get why we need them. And they get why we don't have them.
But that doesn't get us accredited.
In addition, there are issues we knew about and have known about that are issues. For example, it's an issue that I help Jodenel with finances when my husband is the president. We all get that. And I HATE FINANCES. But I have trained people to take over for me who have then promptly left Haiti. And we have uber-qualified people who can come twice a year for a week...but can't stay. And we have begged and tried to recruit and looked for well-qualified finance people with four-year finance degrees for YEARS.
Our IT guy left after years of investment with 2 days notice. Matt is therefore the current IT guy. We have looked high and low, and can't find anyone qualified. But the president cannot be the IT guy who has access to everything, conflict of interest.
And if you simply don't have it, you do what you have to do.
But this isn't about making ends meet or doing what needs done. It's about meeting a universal standard, and there is a reason there are NO accredited seminaries in Haiti.
Unfortunately, our cherished board members are also really busy people, and none of them were able to come for this evaluation, either, so lots of questions about our board and policies and practices and chief-financial-officer, etc...
Let's just say Matt is carrying a heavy load tonight.
There are so many great things we are not doing that we didn't even REALIZE we weren't doing that we can start doing now...and by God's grace we're going to get better and better. These beautiful men and women deserve it. Haiti deserves it.
And I have to tell you that Matt has been a champion today. I watched him unwaveringly ask questions, take notes, be totally honest and forthright, totally transparent, totally kind, totally non defensive, and totally positive without fail...even when our staff felt shredded, even when I felt shredded, even when HE felt shredded.
We have two more days of questions and interviews and evaluations, and I'm asking for your prayers again, for all of our spirits as our weaknesses continue to be searched out and prodded, that we would be of good courage, and that our staff and students, that Emmaus, would continue to be faithful to Him.
He's reminding me over and over tonight that just because certain things don't matter on paper or contribute to this accreditation--like how many people heard the Gospel this week because of our staff and students, like the spirit of true unity that rings true tonight from our Doctors to our gate-guys, like the genuine desire to please Him that radiated from chapel today--they still matter.
So we sit at His feet and we praise the Lord, and we trust Him.
God knows. He knows our hearts. He knows our people. He knows our weaknesses far better and He is powerful IN them. He knows what we need, truly. He knows the outcomes of our days and efforts and labors, and in the end, I am thankful to say that while much much much has been done and poured out for this accreditation, it was NOT to be accredited.
It's been to do our very Biblical best and to ask our community to, too, for His glory.
And so we keep on.
God's grace very practically spoke into this devotional by O. Chambers today, October 19
The kingdom of God does not come with observation…for indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.
The central point of the kingdom of Jesus Christ is a personal relationship with Him, not public usefulness to others.
It is NOT the practical activities that are the strength of this Bible College—its entire strength lies in the fact that here you are immersed in the truths of God to soak in them before Him.
If this time of soaking before God is being spent in getting rooted and grounded in Him, which may appear to be impractical, then you will remain true to Him, whatever happens.
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