Can't be Daddy, can't sweep her home, can't find Junior and can't even get her another kitten. Well...won't.
I've found myself in the same mindset several times the past few weeks. I miss Matt and he's still gone for quite some time. Too long still to start getting excited about his return. I miss our neighbors and our weather, our dear friends, our home, Gertha and Micheline, our students, our mangoes and being in one place, home.
Life right now, though only temporary, looks so different than our "normal" life, which helps you realize how sweet your normal life...like having a husband and ministering in Haiti...IS.
So even as I cherish this time with the girls and Evie, time in America, time with blueberries and Ben and Jerry's, time with family and friends and time in a country with Targets and playgrounds, it is my time in His Word that is holding me stable.
It hasn't changed. Isn't changing. The same words held close in Haiti are being held close now, though the way everything reads is definitely through a different filter.
And this week, it's been 1st Peter challenging my socks off (still just an expression...still don't ever wear anything but flip-flops :) In between Evie's poor endless boogie wiping and keeping the girls as far from "I'm so bored!" as possible, I'm clutching to it in little pieces, and it is GOOD Bread. Living Water. Just as He says it is.
Chapter 3 : Godly Living
Wives, be submissive to your husbands so that
no matter how they walk with the Word,
they may be won without a word from their wives.
Isn't this what we want? For our husbands to be won to HIS Word without ANY of our words? To be free of nagging our husbands in light of their close attention to HIS Words?
Let your adornment not be merely external,
but let your adornment be in the hidden person of the heart
with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is precious in the sight of God.
Just reading the words, "Which is precious in the sight of God," makes me DESIRE those imperishable qualities. How quick I can be to NOT have a gentle and quiet spirit!
You husbands live with your wives in an understanding way,
as with someone weaker, and show her honor
as a fellow heir of the grace of life
so your prayers might not be hindered.
I bristled for so many years over the idea of being someone weaker. And then Matt leaves for 4 weeks and I am fragile, friends. And needing understood (even in my crazy, which he DOES, and I'm so grateful to be a fellow heir of His Grace!
To sum up, all of you be harmonious
humble in spirit.
Don't return evil for evil or insult for insult,
but giving a blessing instead,
for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
The one who desires life, to love,
and to see good days,
must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceit.
He must turn and do good;
He must seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous.
Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?
Even if you should SUFFER for righteousness, you're blessed.
Don't fear, don't be troubled, but
sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts.
To sum all of chapter three up, I'm getting a lot of loving
I'm so quick to speak up, to defend, to point out, to make sure my thoughts and rights are heard.
So quick to think of concerns, to lie in bed at night concerned. So ready to meditate on my sufferings and try to be positive about them instead of sanctifying the Lord in my heart, counting it truly as blessing.
And I'm not even to Chapter 4: Keep fervent in Your Love, Share the Sufferings of Christ, or Chapter 5: Serve God Willingly.
All that to say, taste and see that the Lord is good today with me.