still small voice

"I wish God would TALK to ME!" Lily said sincerely on Sunday after "kid church" we do together Sunday afternoons.

I assured her that God DOES talk to her, and went through different experiences in her life that I have seen God guide and direct her.

"Yes, but I didn't HEAR His voice!" she said.

I tried to share again times that she knew in her heart, because of God's voice, that something was good or bad, that she knew He loved her...that she knew what to do or say.

Helping her FIND that still small voice isn't easy, and often like myself, she is still a bit frustrated that she can't ask God something and hear His voice audibly answer.

Sofie, as always, was intently listening to our conversation, and Sunday night as I was tucking her into bed, she clutched her heart, wide-eyed, and whispered, "God is talking in my heart!"

"Great!" I said.  "What is He saying?"

"He says..." she whispers mysteriously..."Go to sleep!"

I could help but laugh out loud, nor could I help assuring her that that was EXACTLY what God was saying :)

As I've been thinking about our conversations since then, I've realized anew what a huge responsibility we have as parents.  God's voice wasn't telling Sofie to go to sleep.  MY voice is always telling Sofie to go to sleep, and to Sofie, God's voice and her parents voice are the same.

Until my girlies grow mature enough in their relationships with God to learn His voice, it is my voice that they give God...such a huge responsibility that we have as parents to give HIS truth and HIS voice to our children...that they might recognize Him and Truth as they grow!

It also made me realize how easy it is for us to put God's voice on things He is not saying.  My heart says all KINDS of things....sometimes I believe it is God speaking.  More often, it is ME speaking.  How vital it is to KNOW our Master's voice and be able to distinguish His heart from our own, much less from what the world is saying!

While I don't have it all figured out, I do know that I most often know His voice because it is totally different than mine and the world's, and because His voice CHANGES things entirely.

For example, these past few days, I have been tempted to believe that I am unliked.  A few things have played into this idea, and add in a bad head cold, it's very easy lately to wallow in, "nobody likes me, why am I here?" mentality.

Of course, that is silly.

It is still how I felt. 

So, as I was lamenting my popularity to the Lord in a blessed quiet and calm moment last night, I heard His voice.

I was comforting myself, saying, "Oh, Stacey, you are liked.  Of course you are liked.  Come now, it's just that you're sick and taking things too seriously."

But over my loud voice of muddled emotions, His still small voice boomed an entirely different reality.  (I'm so GLAD His reality is entirely different.)

Are you here to be liked?

No, Lord, I guess I'm not, but...I LIKE to be l....

What is all this about?

Um, You?  Yes.  YOU.  You and me.

Does any of this change anything with You and Me?

No Lord, I guess it doesn't.  My cold and those things they said and how I feel...it's doesn't change anything between you and me.

Then be mine.

Can I tell you that after three days of battling with myself over the silly notions, 20 seconds with God ENDED it?  That was it.  That was enough.  He is enough.  And I'm His.  Free.

THAT, Lily dear, is God's voice.

Entirely different.  Burns through all else.  Transformative.  The Truth that sets us Free.

I am so thankful for His voice, He that I cling to.  I am so thankful for the sacred burden of BEING God's voice not only in the lives of my sweet children, but in the lives of many around.

I am anxious to be as far from my own voice as possible...