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25 July 2014

cherished moments, cherished memories

Add "roller-coasters" to the things neither Lily nor Sofie are even remotely afraid of.  
Every summer we try to take a short summer family vacation.  My goal is always a week, though I'm not sure that's ever happened. What we did get, and what I'm very thankful for, was 2 days with family at Cedar Point in northern Ohio.  
While time was short, it gave us two jam-packed-fun days of shows, rides, water slides, cotton candy, ferris wheels, Lake Erie and laughter.  The girls loved EVERY second of it, though ever since Uncle Martin and Aunt Sharon pointed out in Sabetha that the girls just seem to LOVE life, I've realized that they really do love every second of most things.  They truly enjoy life to the fullest.
Especially at an amusement park.
Thursday night, way too late, we were wrapping up the night with a huge show with flames, lights and fireworks, song and dance and zip lines, and right in the middle, wide-mouthed Lily leaned over and whispered: "THIS. IS. WAYYYYYY. BETTER. THAN. SCHOOL."

Good to know.  

Hearing Matt and Adam explode with laughter and watching them run off to ride the biggest and best, watching my little sis sweet with roly-poly Evie, watching Lily seriously instructing Sofie on line-standing etiquette (which was actually Haitian line-standing etiquette...quite another thing) and when to hold her arms up on rides, watching Adam bust with laughter as the girls squeal-jump off the bed onto his stomach, watching Sofie's eyes light up on every ride, the scarier the better, watching Dad head off with Cindy, finally getting to do things HE loves to do instead spending vacation at Camp Snoopy, spending "normal" and precious time with my sister, watching my kids around other kids...seeing who they are and how God made them and marveling at the women they might become, by His grace.  
This is what Lily called, "The Email Ride"
Cherished moments and cherished memories.

I finished "Atlas Girl", which was just beautiful. I loved reading about healing.  About changed priorities.  About our God and His beautiful love.  It's left me with a lot to think about and a lot of it to read through again.

Jumped right into another book Randi bestowed me, called "Say Goodbye to Survival Mode" after a friend at NorthRidge asked me very simply (and waited for a response) "What are you going to stop doing this year to make life less crazy and to deliberately DO less?" and I had no idea what to say except a quiet, "YES, I want that."

As the author jumped right in at practicing saying "no" more often then saying "yes" and starting to teach ourselves how to leave breathing room and to stop pushing and pushing to do everything...yeah, it rang a bell.  
I am fully aware after hitting what I would truly describe as being at MY brick wall this summer of being unable to push ANY more, that this is NOT how I want to continue to live life.  As much as I feel like I am obligated to do every single thing I do, I'm realizing more and more that the only person making life like this is ME, and that the only person who can change this is ME.  

It is NOT the fault of having to raise and maintain support, nor the fault of the line at the door, the culture, being a missionary, Haiti, others, the many visitors to the field, the meals, the dishes, the girls.  Living in survival mode and trying to do far more than humanly possible is MY decision.  And MINE to change.  
Yes, I'm aware that we have talked about this before :)  I'm trying again.  


As I read I'll share what might be helpful for you to join me in feeling healthier and more energetic, eliminating stressors, enjoying the relationships that matter most by saying no when it counts and recommitting to and pursing the passions He's placed in me.

Tomorrow we're clearing trees at dad's house and then driving to Farmland, Indiana.  Sunday, we finally get to meet our family at Farmland Friends Church and share in their morning worship!

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