leaning not

So a very defeated me was reading Proverbs this afternoon when the girls were sleeping, and it changed things.  One day, I will stop being surprised every single time His Word does that.


Just a verse I've known since Sunday School...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5


These last few days have held some major discouragements.  We've been really disappointed, really frustrated, or really hurt by several things.  I feel that I have understood the situations completely, and based on those understandings, we SHOULD be really disappointed, frustrated and hurt.

But when I read those simple words today...trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...I realized that my take-away from these situations has been based on my own understanding.

I've been leaning on my perspective, on my feelings, on my understanding of things, and have felt thus shattered.

Maybe my understanding IS correct.  Maybe (probably, based on my very limited perspective in light of His infinite dimensional perspective) my understanding is not correct.

But it doesn't matter what my lens is or if it is correct...doesn't matter what my filter is of these situations.

I'm not to lean on that.  My understanding is not to be the rock I stand upon.  It's to be nothing more than my limited understanding, chafe.

Instead, I tend to act like MY understanding of things is the end all, the standard, THE truth.

But there's only one of those, isn't there!...only one Standard, only one Above All and End All, only ONE The Truth.

Am I trusting in the LORD with all of my heart?  Or am I trusting in my perspective, and asking the Lord to support me?

Man, I know this isn't rocket science, but it feels revolutionary to me.  I feel like a different person since this afternoon than I have the last few days.  If I'm leaning on and trusting in Him, then I can have peace and true comfort and joy (even without understanding) in even such dire circumstances as these.

And maybe I don't even have to know HIS understanding.  I just have to know Him, and trust in Him.

As the verse goes...
In all your ways, acknowledge Him
and He will make your paths straight.