to be or not to be

There are some days here that end with me genuinely and joyfully thinking: We have arrived!  I feel a part of this culture!  We get it, we're living it, we're becoming Haitian!


Today was not one of those days.


Yesterday evening, a good friend, Magalee, and her 8 month daughter came to see me.  Her husband Junior has what seems like multiple-sclerosis, and became ill right in her last months of pregnancy.  A God-hearted and joyful woman, Magalee and I quickly became friends through trips to visit and pray for Junior.


This past year has been heartbreaking and difficult for her, and I hardly recognized the gaunt, tired eyed woman at my door.  There was no mistaking Abby-guy-ee (no idea how you spell that) however.  Wide-eyed, chunky, alert and happy, she and Lily played on the floor for about an hour while her mom and I visited.

(Lily goofing with Gertha and Sofie with Micheline)

As soon as they left, Lily was abuzz.  "MOM, I LOVE HER" she gushed.  "I love kids!"


She didn't forget overnight, either, and woke up begging to play with kids.  So, throughout the morning of visitors, dirty dishes and laundry, I promised that we'd go play with "the six" across the street "in a little bit".  Two single mothers split a little block home directly in front of the gate.  Three little girls belong to one, and three little boys belong to the other, a home Lily always loved visiting.


Lily begged and begged and finally could be put off no longer.  We grabbed Sofie and headed off, Lily squealing and clapping her hands.  "The six" were just as thrilled to see Lily, but we hadn't been there but 10 seconds before the yard was suddenly full.  Anxious to see the "ti-blanc" (little foreigner), dozens of children ran over, and anxious to see the new baby, bored adults from up and down the street quickly streamed in.


Extreme curiosity, close encounters and bold questionings are quite often to be found as a foreigner in Haiti, so I wasn't phased, but Lily's happy eyes quickly turned fearful as she clung to my skirt.  With everyone talking and pulling at me at once, Sofie began to bawl, which was quickly met by a dozen mothers strongly urging me that the baby must be fed, NOW.


It is believed by many in this culture that thumb-sucking leads to mental slowness in children, so as soon as Lily became frightened and popped her thumb in her mouth, a dozen hands reached out and ripped it back out...so Lily began bawling and trying to climb up my leg.


A very boisterous and forceful woman, seeing that I was NOT feeding the crying baby as instructed, starting pulling at Sofie and ripping her shirt up at the same time.  "I'm going to feed her!" she kept insisting.  


(Recognize that while a lot of this sounds and seems rude from our cultural standpoint, everyone was only being curious and helpful in Haiti's.  Remember: community, community, community).


Helpful or not, overwhelmed or not, this lady was NOT going to feed by baby.  Trying to comfort Lily at the same time, I said a quick prayer and searched the crowd for His Spirit.  I immediately made eye contact with a woman I'd been to pray for several times throughout the past year,  a woman who won't step in church but loves the Lord.


Whew.


I snatched Sofie back from loud-lady, quickly handed her to Spirit-eyes, scooped up a now bawling Lily, tried to answer as many of the questions as I could in Creole while speaking peace to Lily in English, and waited for thing to calm down.

Was Sofie a boy?
Why didn't she have any hair?
Why weren't her ears pierced?
Why do I let Lily suck her thumb?
Why isn't Lily in school yet?
Do foreigners breastfeed?
Do I give Sofie other foods, too?
Where were we for the past 8 weeks?
Did I suffer much in labor?
Where was Matt?
Were we married, or just living together?
Don't we wish Sofie had been a boy?
Why do foreigners give all their children such short names?
Will we keep having children until God gives us a boy?
Was Matt upset that she was a girl?
Why was Lily crying?
Why couldn't loud-lady feed the baby?
Doesn't Lily know how to speak yet?


When everyone realized that we weren't actually all that exciting, most everyone moved on...but the damage was done.  "Mommy, I want to go HOME," Lily cried, and my heart just broke.


She had been so excited, and now she was desperate to get away from the very kids she had come to play with.  She had wanted to play with kids so that she could play with other people like her, and had come away instead feeling like a lonely object.  I felt equally sad for the other kiddos, who didn't understand why Lily wouldn't play with them or why she was crying.

Our friend Sharon reminded me recently that while Matt and I have chosen to be missionaries in this country, Lily didn't, and she doesn't have to be.  While we want to teach her to be Christ-like in how she treats people, we don't want to forget that she doesn't have to be a missionary toddler.  But today wasn't about doing ministry out in Saccanville, nor did all this happen while I was out evangelizing.  Sigh.


Things did quiet down, Sofie was perfectly happy with my friend, Lily calmed down, and even wandered about a bit with a few other little girls until the whole lot of children ran into the tiny dirt-floor block house, and bizarrely came out with a little DVD player.  A mini movie theater with rocks for seating quickly emerged, and all the children crowded around with the adults to watch a very old and very foul-languaged Jackie Chan movie.  SO random.


Lily looked at me from her rock again with a dozen questions in her eyes, none of which I had answers to but to laugh and draw a small wan smile from her round face.  Once everyone was well captivated, I thanked our friends, scooped Sofie back up in my left arm and Lily in my right and we headed home.


"I'm sorry, Lil" I told her as we walked home.


"That was not fun" she whimpered.


Ah.  Everyone says that life changes drastically with children.  Life in Haiti, all the more!

Please be praying for us as we try to help our children thrive and understand and be a part of their home. Pray for God to help us be extra creative in how we can bring friends into our girls lives and how we can do ministry that is healthy and not harmful for them and how we can live life here in a way that shows the girls the beauty of a different culture.  Pray for wisdom as we take one day at a time, prioritize, and live and minister here!


Praising the Lord again at the end of the day that He is our culture and the Father of not just us, but Lily and Sofie, too.