English and the one thing that matters most...

I headed down to the Seminary today, my "day off", a bit begrudgingly to fulfill part of a favor for a good friend. Lucner left today for Mississippi, followed tomorrow by Matt (they'll meet up in Florida and head on to Jackson). However, each Saturday Lucner teaches a 2.5 hour English course and he had asked me to please substitute teach for him the three Saturdays that he'll be gone.

There isn't much we wouldn't do to help Luke, so I agreed, only really realizing this morning how much I did NOT want to teach English, for 2.5 hours, on a Saturday, the day before Matt left for over two weeks, in a HOT hot classroom to 40 people.

However, I knew from Luke that there were going to be LOTS of non-Christian businessmen and women, students and professionals there, so I tried to adjust my attitude as one of: "This could be a great opportunity to talk about Christ to people that are very lost but VERY interested in English!"

So, I prepared lessons throughout the day without really knowing what to expect. Luke's instructions were: "You teach English. Do whatever you want." So, with Bible verses, praise music, homework, exercises and vocab. cards in tow, I headed down to class and entered a very hot, but not at all warm, atmosphere. I am so used to teaching pastors, or at least men and women who know and love the Lord.

Instead, today I found a room, of not 40, but SIXTY men and women, most of whom obviously did NOT emit the Holy Spirit. We always say that Haiti is a land of extreme darkness. It's darkness is emitted through its people that don't know the Lord. The spirit of joy, hospitality, of humility, and of peace that emits from my seminary students was replaced today with a cynical spirit of harshness, pride, rudeness.

They were there for a business transaction. They wanted English. They had paid. Fork it over.

Needless to say, it didn't take long before I was sending up small prayers, "Lord, help me! Lord, give me boldness, give me joy, give me words!" A few bright lights of pastor's wives and mission employees that I knew scattered throughout the crowd helped enormously, and with some hesitation, I began with what I had prepared, John 3:16.

Despite the obvious coldness of the group, John 3:16 was still English, and I was relieved to find every man and woman repeating after me loudly, over and over, "God loved the world so much that He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, and if we believe in Him, we will not perish but live eternally." We broke it down, talking about what each portion was in Creole. He gave me boldness and I took it a step further than translation, discussing what each portion MEANT, using myself as an example, talking about what Jesus did for ME. It was awesome...proclaiming the salvation message loudly with 60 students, most of which seemed to not know it already

We then worked our way through a song Luke had picked, "He is Exalted"...more translating, more explaining, "He is the Lord, Forever His truth shall reign!"

Singing this with them, the Lord began to allow my eyes and heart to see the humanity around me as He does...I stared into dark dark eyes that had nothing behind them, and felt broken. Most, I felt awful for having such a bad attitude! Here He had placed me smack in the midst of darkness IN Emmaus Biblical Seminary's classroom, giving me 2 and a half hours of UNdivided attention to say WHATEVER I wanted to 60 men and women of all walks of Haitian life, most on the forefront of business and worldliness here in Haiti! PRAISE THE LORD!

He broke my heart in some other ways, too. After a few minutes of teaching, I realized that one of the students was actually a little girl, maybe about 8 years old. I was going to question her being in an "Adult Learning" class, but thought I would wait until class was over. However, as class continued, I realized she wasn't there alone, but with her mother. As the class progressed, I realized that the little girl was doing all of the work, taking notes, reading each vocabulary word or phrase from the chalkboard to her mom, her mom dictating to her what to write. My heart filled with sadness, realizing finally that this woman in her 30s couldn't read or write. Her child did it for her, while she struggled to learn English orally.

An older man, a friend of ours, on the other side of the classroom continually was trying to get those around him to help him, though it didn't seem like anyone else was needing help. I realized after he submitted a quiz with his name on the top and some "X's" and some long lines and nothing else that he also couldn't write, but had no one there to help him. I wanted to cry...

What a heartbreaking reminder of that fact that no matter HOW long we live here, we will NEVER understand.

It is not enough to realize just that I've been to Disney World when SO MANY in this world will never have the chance. It's not just that I got to go to summer camp as a kid, that I had a car with my brother when I was 16, that we went on family vacation each Easter. NOT enough that I am typing this on my laptop, that a printer sits beside me and a fan is whirling overhead, representing a generator in the distance and gas to fill it with.

It's not just that I've had extras that others haven't. It's that I've NEVER slept in the mud! I have NEVER been hungry. I have NEVER been unable to feed Lily, never put her to bed hungry after giving her dirty water to drink. I have never chosen between food or clothing, clothing or schooling, supporting my brothers and sisters OR learning to READ.

I stood dripping with sweat in front of a class of 60, and could NOT, NOT EVER, understand where they are from.

And yet, Disney World or mud hut, writing novels or chicken scratch, I HAVE been lost. I was BORN it. Born empty eyed and living for myself. And I have well known lost people...those who are dripping with opportunity, the world at their fingertips, but just as dark eyed, empty spirited, and self-centered as the friends I met today.

Poor, rich or in the middle, educated, illiterate, passport to the globe or village, birth to death:

God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever will believe in Him will not perish but have LIFE.