taking rest in His security

I was looking tonight for a quote from a blog post past, and realized just how much of my journey this past 12 months has been revolving around loss and struggle. How gracious you have been to pray through dozens of posts about my dad, musings and tears that have helped me work through this hard journey with Him. In this current season of stepping back instead of pushing forward, I can truly see Him leading us beside still waters so we can hear Him above the noise and let Him restore our souls. 

I am trusting in lots of His promises, and as we sit for a minute and catch our breaths from what feels like the first 40 years of life and loss, the Lord sits enthroned over the flood, King forever, giving strength to His people and blessing them with peace (Psalm 29:10). 

We are clinging and He is blessing us with some strength and some peace and some hope. His care IS ever tender and we have needed tender in these days. Add in the man who dropped off a ham, the woman who brought us a devotional and a jar of pickles, the many who have been praying, the friends from church who babysat for a much needed date night and little ways the Lord has answered prayers through His people, and we can see His love in His people. 

A month before my dad died, last January, I committed to making this year another one where I read through the whole Word. This commitment has blessed me MANY times of darkness and pain when I would have otherwise been tempted to sink away from His word instead of into it, and this week as I am wrapping up Week 51, we are in Job. It is proving the perfect place to be for our current season, when it feels that "my days are past; my plans are broken off, the desires of my heart..." but also that "He is unchangeable, and who can turn Him back? What He wills, He does. And He will complete that which He appoints for me, and many things are in His mind."

As hard as it is to learn some of the lessons we are learning, having finally hit our wall, it has brought us into His rest. It has brought us to a place of looking at things very honestly and seeing boundaries we need to learn, seeing places we want to do better.  Seeing yesses that should have been better nos. Seeing weaknesses that need His healing and strengthening instead of burying. Seeing how the Lord is good.

Some days it has felt extra brutal to be Christmas, and yet these last days the miracle has felt extra sweet. We were giving Him our all by trying to do it ALL, for Him, and yet when we found we had nothing left to give, there we found Him, Christ come. 

What a fragrance for us this dark season speckled with Hope. 

Whatever you're facing with us this Christmas, 

Your life will be brighter than noon day, 

its darkness will be like the morning. 

You will feel secure because there is Hope, 

and you will look around and take your rest in His security.

Job 11