Today was Day One of Spring Break and I had three sick kiddos on the couch and a boogie baby and Matt at the doctor with an ear infection. We have been healthy since New Years and as soon as a break hits....man. I'm thankful that the rest that was needed was easily available, for sunshine to sit in, even if bundled up, and for conversations throughout the day with the One who keeps me grounded and going, with the One who helps me.
When the silverware drawer is jammed again and I mentally put it on our, "next time Dad comes" list...the Lord helps me. When Ben runs over Emma's fingers with the chair I have told him 86 dozen times not to "drive" around the house. When I trip over Sofie's shoes that she can never find. When I miss our Haiti home and people and community so badly I can hardly stand it.
I always breathe-pray, dozens of times a day, Lord, help me...and He just does. I love that we have a God who asks for our holiness of attitude...and also plays an active roll in shaping it. That we have a God who commands us not to worry, and who is quick to carry our burdens. That we have a God who tells us to be faithful, and helps our unbelief...who warns us against pity, and helps us to praise...who sees and knows but also cares and intervenes.
I need all that.
10 days off school with seven kids and a sick husband or not :).
I have gotten a few really precious letters and I am so grateful for the reminders that you loved my dad, or that you are praying for us, or that you've been there.
The Lord also gave me some precious moments last week with the only person in our daily lives we know who has done foster ministry, and I needed that. It's a hard, heavy, lonely mission field, foster care. I've heard people talk about it my whole life, and always always thought, "NOT me. I'm not doing that...that would just be TOO hard and messy and raw and costly and 24/7. That would just be too much."
And some days it is, but you can't take those days off.
That's refining, isn't it?...His work that you can't only do when it's fun or rewarding...His work that you never wanted and never signed up for and were terribly equipped for and then somehow found He walked you in...and stayed?
Hearing her say, right out of my crazy confessions and frustrations, "yes, that IS how it is...that is how it feels"...having her get it right away and understand, man, it just set me free. I had been feeling so overwhelmed and helpless, and she got it, and gave me a plan and some things to try, and that just made all the difference. He helps me.
I know it feels counterintuitive to share your heartbreaks and struggles with hurting people...but man alive does it help to know we're all in it together, and that if there is hope for you, there is hope....that if He is helping you, there is help...that if you've been through it, I'll get there.
Grateful for His body and for His help.
We've been through it these past few years. I've still got things to work through and rubs for Him to redeem.
But the only thing that is TOO much is doing it without Him...and that is the very thing He promises will never happen.
❤️
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