It was maybe the hardest day, the doctors confirming the fight has been lost, and that more fighting will cause more damage than victory, and they shifted gracious feet and said they were sorry and sent dad home.
He isn't yet at peace, his mind racing with things unsaid and jobs to do, his life-long favorite expression running through my mind.
You don't come up 'till you hit the wall.
He'd meet us at the pool after work, green-tipped braids and sunburnt cheeks, do crazy stunts off the board, buy us popsicles at the break and play gutter ball across the shallow end. He taught us to swim and dive and tread water, and always pushed us to swim further and further underwater 'till we could get from one side of the pool to the other.
We can't DO it! I remember complaining, thinking he was some kind of Michael Phelps, lungs ready to burst.
It's easy! dad would laugh. You just don't come up 'til you hit the wall!
It's been a family expression for the decades...studying for tests, pushing for deadlines, struggling with babies, calling him weary and worried, unsure what to do, and he always seemed strong, steady and certain.
Trust the Lord. Keep your head down. Pay with cash. Work hard. Love the babies. And don't come up 'till you hit the wall.
He has been fighting the good fight, and this past year extra selflessly for all of us, treatment after treatment.
He's not quitting and coming up early. He never would.
The wall is here.
Emma and I go as soon as I've got everyone off in the morning.
And He's gonna have to accomplish what is beyond me.
Praying for peace in the midst of this storm. “The Eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Love you - Beth
ReplyDeleteI am praying for strength and His nearness
ReplyDeleteHolding you up in prayer
ReplyDeletePraying for you Stacey. What you are going through is so, so hard, but God is the strength of your heart. 🙏🏻
ReplyDeleteHis healing is inevitable. Praying for grace peace and comfort for all of you.
ReplyDeleteFather God, words that never want to be heard are heard. Listened to. Rejected but yet accepted in minds but not hearts. Walking a road that isn’t desired. Yet planting one foot in front of the other.
ReplyDeleteGive sweet moments of conversation and memories. Hugs. Tears. Laughter. Tenderness.
Pour out Grace. More Grace. And even more Grace. Make this a holy journey. As he hits the last wall of earthly life, may he reach out with the promise of You being at the wall, of You being the wall, to lift him out of the water and up into a life of living by sight, seeing Jesus’ face for eternity. Breathing in deeply the fragrance of sweet heavenly aromas. The sweet fragrance of Jesus.
Thank you, Father, for your provision. Your love. Your compassion. May your love permeate the hurting hearts of this family.
Amen and amen.
Stacey, sending my love, hugs, and prayers. I continue to pray for your Dad. I will be praying for you and Emma as you go to be with him.
ReplyDeleteLove you my dear Friend.
Shirley
Stacey - I am so very sorry the "wall is here". Fall into Christ's arms in these weak, scary, dark times and He will hold you and he will hold your dad. My prayers are covering you in these difficult days. Love you....Lori
ReplyDeleteStacey - I am so sorry to read of this update on your father. I will continue to keep him and your family in my thoughts and prayers. May god keep you in his loving arms to help you keep the strength for this next step along the journey.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family are in the midst of the hardest times of life. I pray for God’s grace for you. I love you, Lady Jane
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. May God give grace upon grace, upon grace and make these days exceedingly precious for all of you.
ReplyDelete