We have the idea that God is leading us to a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not.
God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this minute, not for sometime in the future.
We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.
If I can remain calm, faithful and unconfused in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God IS being accomplished in me.
As I was blearily feeding the baby this morning and contemplating pouring my cup of coffee directly into my puffy eyes, He used today's Utmost for His Highest devotional to speak exactly to today.
Baby girl has slept TERRIBLY the last several nights. I don't know what's going on, but she can't get comfortable, can't stay asleep, and wants to eat every two hours instead of the four and five hour stretches she was giving us.
On top of that, sleep has been evading me anyway...the midnight hours prime time to worry about this house still having not sold, and all the "what ifs" and financial concerns that come with that...concern over Matt leaving tomorrow for 10 days and the new house closing August 1st....concern over todays 10 am final and major home study interview for foster licensure...concerns over Lily, dealing with some boy issues we thought were just dumb-typical, and turns out have been more toxic/concerning...concerns over our bonus girls and some struggles/fears/behaviors that come from so much trauma that it gives mama trauma just praying for them.
Side note for the record (whoever is keeping that record book, carry on!)...dealing with new baby sleep-issues AND multiple teenage girl issues at the SAME SEASON in life is ridiculous and should be avoided at all costs. Undergoing foster licensing/training at the same time, bonus nuts.
I ran (probably more like "drug") to my devotional time this morning with three kiddos already up by six because I am not gonna make it through the morning, and He immediately reminds me in this season that feels like everyone else and their mother is at the beach, lake, river, or national park, squeezing in that last relaxing, picturesque vacay before school starts, that it can still be holy and used by Him that I am buried in a pile of nine people's laundry in a house He has not yet sold with beautiful and broken kiddos.
If this is my season of accomplishing very little, the Mighty God can still be achieving His goals. In a season when I am prone to sleeplessness, panic and worry, His purpose can be accomplished in me if I
can remain calm, faithful, and unconfused in the middle of the turmoil.
If in the middle of this chaotic roller-coaster, I can stay off it...grounded in the calm and faithful and true One, His beautiful and trusted and mysterious plan and purpose can be brought to fruition through and in me, even if NONE of my plans ever materialize.
And as I re-read O Chambers words again and again along with the corresponding Mark 6, He asked me this morning if I can get on board with that.
...if I can be good and at peace with HIS purposes instead of my own.
...if I can be open to His refining work, even when it feels a lot harder than what I consider successes, what I consider needed, what I'd consider blessings.
...if I can look, instead of for solutions and fixes, for Him walking on the storms of my life, however continual they feel right now.
I'm so thankful He gave me this good word today, because I needed to remember that with His mighty help... I CAN.
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