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08 March 2022

 It's not that I am concerned, per say...it's just that my mind is crowded over leaving Monday.  I don't think I'm forgetting anything, I think I've done or have scheduled all the prep still needed...but I fall asleep the moment I hit the pillow and then wake up in the middle of the night or early morning unable to stop my mind from whirling.

Have I thought of everything? Everyone? What gifts am I missing, what socks for which kid, and what do I do about Lily's Haiti skirts suddenly being six inches shorter? Am I sure no one's passport is expired and why can't we schedule the covid-testing appointment? Can my trusty laptop make it through another international trip and massive use, which foods do I need to ask Gertha to find for us, what if this growing belly slows me down or keeps me from being able to push when I need to? Should I repackage the solar-discipleship radios to try to outwit corruption in customs? Did I remember to pack the answers to Lily's pre-algebra homework and quizzes and meds in case someone gets sick? 

It's all the many details of traveling with four kids...then of traveling to Haiti at such a time as this...then all the details of life here while we're away (the dog...Matt's travels and schedule...church events...friends with heavy burdens) and all the details of life here this week...a very busy one as I try to pack, plan, talk to Emmaus in spare-rare moments while still parenting/teaching/cooking/cleaning/chauffeuring/serving. 

So it makes sense that when Eddie asked tonight at small group if I was excited,  I didn't know what to say!

I am excited to kiss my goddaughters and to hold Granny's hand...to pray with Claudin in person and to meet so many new students and hear their sacred stories. I'm excited to watch my children with their friends, begging Gertha for sweet slices of pineapple and eat their weight in rice and beans. I'm excited to be at the foot of a mountain where the Lord has met us so many times before. I am excited to finally meet Naomi's baby girl and to come alongside the ways I always, always long to.  I am excited fo finally have some sweet hours with Shelley and to worship in our village church, in chapel...songs and prayers I haven't sung for so long. 

I am also tempted to stress over so many details, what-ifs and hard parts, the parts I'm concerned I'm not strong enough for.

So the Lord's going to have to take care of those and I'm just coming back again to those being His area, including being strong in our weakness!

Thankful He is with us....and where we are going...and all along the way!







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