I hadn't planned on giving up my computer for Lent, but so it goes! 
As a planner/multi-tasker, not having my calendar, emails, photos, English tests and homework, recipes, notes and bookmarks has me feeing at a major loss...rather ungrounded. I feel a bit like I'm plowing through each day blindly, and so much of the planning that helps make each day a little smoother is GONE.
I hate that feeling.
As I prayed through feeling so scattered and frustrated and out-of-the-loop this morning, He brought to my mind a silent prayer I lifted a few days ago in the face of Lent during retreat...before I knew my laptop-slash-buzzing-brain was dead.
"Lord, help me find ways to make your voice a little clearer, a little louder.
Help me deliberately step back from anything that stands in front of you."
Now don't get me wrong. My laptop helps me function and minister and serve so much more effectively. Just about everything I do, from homeschool, to class, to research, to dinner is done better with it's help and memory.
But I've realized these last few days that it often also hushes His voice, steals His time, distracts my focus.
I always touch base with my inbox while I'm getting everyone ready and out the door in the morning, and at least another 10 times throughout the day. I'm on Facebook 3 or 4 times a day, checking in on what's happening. When I take a picture, I'm usually sharing it within 24 hours. While we're chatting or watching movies in the evenings, I'm emailing/blogging/facebooking and if I have an extra 5 minutes, I'm on Pinterest. Mmmmmm. Just realized I miss Pinterest.
My fingers absolutely spend more time on keys than pouring over my Bible on any given day. I absolutely spend more time checking the pulse of my friends and family through email and blogs and Facebook than I do checking the pulse of God through prayer.
If I wanted His voice louder, LOUD like the mighty waves crashing unceasingly these last few days, THIS IS MY CHANCE. If I prayed away distractions, They are Gone. If I desire HIM to be my only grounding, HE suddenly feels like my sole constant.
I know it's just a laptop. But my daily functions are IN it...stuck in there. And while ultimately, I can't teach and stay in contact and manage EBS finances and sponsorship without getting that information out and going again...for now, I am stuck.
I lift my eyes up.
Where does my help come from?
It comes from You.
Instead of letting this consume me, I'm declaring it an answered prayer (until I believe it).
Retreat has left my heart and mind feeling so overloaded.
He has a lot to sort through with me...
...without the continual >ding< of a new message.
This lent season or just this DAY, chocolate or internet or movies or your cell phone or Starbucks or a sport or habit or hobby...
Whatever it is...find a way to deliberately make His voice a little louder today.
He IS ready to speak. We'll listen together...
This is good. I pray that in the discomfort of adjusting to this that the time with him will be your greatest blessing as you seek his heart and process what he is saying!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't FEEL good :) But the Undistracted Voice is precious...
DeleteAlas,if you are going to step on our toes that hard, you should furnish steel toed shoes. Seriously, since you won't see this for a while, I assume you will be using your laptop to do that, I hope you have developed a deeper relationship by now. I also hope those of us who had our toes stepped on have survived the pain, and have also learned to focus more on The Lord, and less on out little electronic devices.
ReplyDeleteI often think the same thing about His Word...anything that bold and to the heart should surely come with steel-toed boots! Maybe the boots are His unchanging, unfailing love!! Thanks, Bob!
DeleteComputers and the internet have made our world so much bigger, it can steal away some of the things that are most precious to us (if we let it). Thank you for the loving reminder that He is bigger than any of that and that we all need to just take some time to listen to Him.
ReplyDeleteOften without us even realizing it...until they are gone!! Thanks, Steven...so thankful I never wake up to a frozen, stuck, unavailable GOD.
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