polishing shoes.

Do you ever talk to yourself?

This has pretty much become a pattern in my life the last few years.  Yes, I recognize this means I'm getting old or am old or am borderline crazy or something like that.  All things that might be true.

But yesterday, I found myself actually helping myself in righteousness by talking to myself...which made me realize how often I speak Jesus to myself effectively.

We have such a great group of professors here right now.  We really do.  They are helpful, they are fun, they are servant-hearted.  They love our students visibly.  They are working really hard, and working alongside of them has felt like such a blessing and privilege.

And you know we can't pick up a pizza.  Can't order Chinese.  Can't get frozen dinners.  Can't buy bagged salad or bottled ranch, can't open a can of fruit salad or throw cans of beans and tomatoes into the crock pot.

Which means that despite the loveliness of this or any group, I am spending a LOTTA time in our dear kitchen.  The girls are spending a lot of time on the countertops.  We're kneading that dough, skinning that pineapple, mixing up that Ranch, bleaching that lettuce, picking rocks out of the beans before we boil them, literally squeezing the orange juice.

And darn it...just a few hours go by and everybody wants to eat again!  Heavens :)

So yesterday following a great and PACKED OUT service at the Vaudreil Church, I rushed back into my place in the kitchen (Phil....Gentry...Casey...Matt...Sam: "the wedding dresses matches the fridge" jokes prohibited). 

And everyone was exhausted.  I wanted them to rest.  Matt needed a nap.  I TOLD him to go sleep.

But when everyone's napping...then playing outside...resting and getting ready for another big week, just as they should have been...I'm as busy as a Martha.  And before long, Martha's attitude started to creep in..."Jesus, tell Mary (or Matt :) to HELP ME!  Look at what I'm doing!!  HUFF!"

I know you know exactly what I'm talking about.  When you're in knee deep...when you're pulling the weight...when your kids overlook...when there is so much to do...when your husband doesn't notice.  It sure would be nice if I got a nap for once!  Sure would be good to have some HELP with some of this...

Growing discontentment started robbing my joy as I fought audibly to take control of serving UNTO HIM.

And finally, sweat dripping as I chop-chop-chopped the carrots, I STOPPED myself.  Christ in me stopped me...and first made me a cup of coffee (does the Holy Spirit ever do that for you?  Ahhhh).

Then, all the truths of His Word and Being that I'm always trying to soak in and fill myself with abided.

I started telling myself all of them, talking to myself like the crazy person I guess I am.

Started reminding myself that my greatest desire is to bring Him glory and dwell at His feet.  Reminded myself that I could do that with carrots.  I can bless the God of the universe and others with CARROTS.

Reminded myself that whoever gives a glass of cold water in His name blesses Him.  Told myself that He is NOT interested in the WHAT as much as the HOW, and that I could beg Him to take control of this moment and help my HOW be a joyful outpouring...and that HE WOULD.

Thought of the love I have seen these men and women and my husband and children bestow on our Haitian family here, His children, and reminded myself that I could bless them...could encourage them...could nourish them...could be a part of that by making "edible" into fantastic, making a meal a service unto Him.

Reminded myself that my best unto Him is beautiful unto Him if done with a thankful heart and a desire to love Him.

Reminded myself of the pouring out of oil from the alabaster jar--the sacrifice she didn't even notice and joyfully made and that He found to be so lovely.  So meaningful.

I promise you, it only took two minutes of deliberate ramblings of truth before what could have ruined the day in my heart (and in His sight) instead was transformed back to a blessing.

True joy...not pretend joy or "sucking it up"...but true joy was restored to my soul, and I loved Him by loving others and felt the joy of His love.  In my kitchen.

It wasn't until this afternoon that O. Chambers put it into better words than I just did...

Sometimes we are fresh and eager to attend a small group or Bible study, but do we feel that same freshness for mundane tasks such as polishing shoes [making 2 dozen more rolls / washing more dishes]?

Being born again by the Spirit is an unmistakable work of God, as mysterious as the wind, and as surprising as God Himself.  Being born again from above is an enduring, perpetural, and eternal beginning.  It provides a freshness all the time in thinking, talking and living--a continual surprise of the life of God.

Are you drawing your life from any source other than God?  

Let me include you in my self-talk.

It's easy to think our life-source is Christ, but the moments that make UP our lives don't always reflect that...especially the "shoe-polishing" moments.

I mean, we even try to AVOID those shoe-polish moments.  Try to get more efficient so we don't have to do them.  Try to cut corners.  Try to watch tv while we're doing them so we don't have to think about them.  Buy stuff that DOES them so we don't have to.  Live for the vacations and the weekends and the end of the days.

I'm betting most of our moments today will be just that:  unnoticed, tedious, same-old, repetitive.  Easy to get a bit grouchy about...on our own strength.  Easy to think about ourselves.  IT IS ALWAYS SO EASY for me to think about ME.

But let me challenge our moments today that make up LIFE....even if you have to sit yourself down in a corner and say aloud the Truth we KNOW to be the Truth...do it.  When we feel ourselves creeping in on ourselves...Claim it.  Write it on your heart, run it through your minds, post it in your lives until it transforms.  Fight to stay in His Word, that it might balm us and transform in the shoe-polish moments.

Not just because it can.  Not just because I NEED it to.

But because He wants it to...a continual surprise in the life of God.

Last night it was beef tips with noodles, salad and rolls, cupcakes.  Tonight, it was Irish Stew with dumplings and fruit salad and and lemon bars.  Tomorrow night, it will be hamburgers and coleslaw and brownies with homemade ice cream with milk I pasteurized this afternoon.  

And I have beautiful ones to make it all for and a fridge holds the food so much of the world doesn't have.  And two adorable helpers and happy carrots.

And a Mary heart before a God who doesn't mind one bit hanging in our kitchen.

Or wherever you are today.