go out with me?

I know it's only January 2nd.

But I sure am learning a lot this year!

Today Matt left at 5 am, and my Lily-girl turned 5.

It's crazy that we weren't even THINKING about a Lily-girl when we moved to Haiti, and today in English-Creole with Hatian-American friends, we celebrated her being FIVE!  I seriously don't know how it has happened or where the time has gone.

My standard for cake icing is this: if the child recognizes the character she asked for in your cake, it is GOOD.  

My mom made this cake using this cake pan for me 25 years ago.  Bet she never would have guessed I'd be using it for MY five year old one day in Haiti.

Sofie worked very hard to try to turn her well-practiced "2" into "5" for Lily's big day.  Nope.

Aunt 'Lida got her a color purse (two of Lily's favorite things)

And we got her her first real Bible with her name on it...she loved it and immediately said, "Mom, we've GOT to keep working on my reading!  I want to READ this to Sofie!"

...and her first LEGO kit, which was way cooler than the ones I remember my brother having when I was five :)

I stayed up late last night working on decorating so I could play today, and play we did.

She got in her mind that she wouldn't be five until she blew out her candles, so all day she was asking, "Where are my friends???  I want to turn FIVE!"

Nina and Sarah are Lily's friends from the main OMS campus,

Azi is her friend from across the driveway, 

and Asheline and Alexandra are her friends from school.  

They shrinky-dinked like crazy, then watched the oven like it was the SuperBowl. 

Lily grinned the whole party through, and especially once she got those candles and turned FIVE.

Haylie and Hannah blew up balloon animals, gave the girls temporary tattoos, made rubber band bracelets, served strawberry ice cream (thank you, Dodo and Bubba for that bag of frozen strawberries!) and helped me with whatever I needed with great attitudes, and only got paid in candy :) Seriously, I was SO blessed by them in Matt's absence.  THANK YOU!

It was so fun to do a few special things for these special girls and to watch them delight in pink cake...fun crafts...strawberry candy...sparkle crowns.  Doesn't take much when they're this age to just special their socks off.

Several of you sent sweet emails and notes to Lily to make her day extra special!!  THANK YOU!

The moment all her friends left, Lily pulled me down and said, "Mom, I KNOW today was my birthday because you definitely look older!"  :)

I would have protested, but fun as the party was, excessive pink will DO that to a woman.

For the fifth year in a row, the best gift on Lily's birthday was Lily Sue.

But back to what I learned today.  

There was this point of ugly overwhelm this afternoon.  lots of special = lots of work, I hardly got any sleep last night, my girlie is growing up (>cringe<), Matt is gone for the next 10 days, another huge semester is upon us, I'm missing my family (every time they come, the following weeks are just extra hard), and I was good, and suddenly something came up, and I was fighting tears.  

I had the sense (finally, after all these years!) to STOP and go RIGHT to Him.  

I knew I had about 10 minutes, and quickly cracked my Utmost for His Highest of the day only to read THIS:

Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him. Then think how unnecessary and disrespectful worry is! Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to “go out” in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Jesus. 

I am no new Christian.  I have been learning Him and coming to know Him better for many years.  There is still so much to grow and know, but I KNOW who I KNOW Him to be, which I often abandon for worry and stress in difficult situations.  I forget who I KNOW Him to be and worry about how I feel, what could happen, how something feels, what the future holds, what someone thinks or says, all that needs to be done...

Believe God is always the God YOU KNOW Him to be when you are nearest Him.

This year, this 2014, I want to live like this.  I want to LIVE and act and react like I BELIEVE, based on who HE IS, not who I or others are or what is happening.  Not in light of others, or the moment, but in light of Who. He. Is.

Think how unnecessary and disrespectful worry is!

That honest word stopped up my tears immediately.  In light of who He is.

Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to "go out" in dependence upon God, and your life...will be satisfying to Jesus.

I have seen Him faithful, in His Word and in my life and in the lives of others.  Just this week.

I know Him to be loving, through His Word and through my life and the lives of others.  Just today.

I KNOW Him to be present, and to be in control, to hold the future.  

I know Him to provide.  I know Him to have a plan.  I know Him to go before and hem behind.

I know Him to be Pure and Holy and Love and Just and Grace.

I know Him to be Everything I need and am.

Who do you KNOW Him to be?

Let us go out in dependence upon Him, this year.  Not just in the big things, but in the pink frosting things, too.  In the 'move to Haiti's' and the 'these are HIS children' and in the 'Strawberry Shortcakes' and in the daily grind.  In the big 'step-outs' and in the little 'move overs'.

I am naming my worry: Unnecessary.  Disrespectful.

And I am staking my life and my days on who I KNOW HIM TO BE.

'Go out' with me, will you?