waste

 Last week, Ben went to spend the night with some dear friends of ours. He and their sons started before 7 am for a full day of all-boy fun...street hockey, basketball, bandits, nerf guns...they did it all. Ben never runs out of energy, and he, George and John Stuart were soaking it all up. Told me he wasn't coming home for a million nights. 

Till Morgan.

Their dear family friend had just been on mission in Spain, and he popped in that afternoon, at Morgan's invitation, to show all the family some pictures from his trip and to tell them about the work. About 15 minutes. Lily said it was awesome. 

Ben, however, was dying. 

Mom, he groaned dramatically on the way home, we only had a little bit of time (like 24 hours :) and Ms. Morgan made us WASTE hours of our time looking at PICTURES. We just only had time for the best things, and it totally wasted so many minutes!

I laughed at him and ruffed his hair, but it wasn't until Sunday school the Lord brought the conversation back to my mind. 

We were studying the Great Commission, Matthew 28, getting ready for Trinity Sunday. Jesus told the eleven to go and make disciples, ad baptize them, and teach them what He had taught them, and that He would be with them, always. Always, to the end of the age. 

Out of nowhere, the Lord brought back to me so many hardships, so many difficult seasons, so many dark times in my own life...times I was forced to spend doing hard days I didn't want to do, times, I realized Sunday morning, I often thought were wasted. Survival seasons. Kicking and screaming seasons. Even too-quiet seasons, ones I often turned to myself, where I forgot the Lord was there. 

Here the Lord God Almighty, King Jesus, sitting on the throne, promises He is and has been, absolutely, with me always...such richness. Such a bulwark of strength and peace and power. I have had access to the mighty God my whole life, all my days...and so many times I have wasted almost unaware of His presence. How much time have I wasted walking as if I was walking alone, carrying burdens as if they were mine, pouring out of my own strength when HIS is SITTING there waiting for me.

Our abiding awareness of Him should continually push itself to the forefront of our lives. Many seasons have I wasted, not obsessed with God. 

How often I run and go about our busy lives, living almost unaware of His mighty promise of presence! No hardship, no season, no discomfort, no sacrifice, no challenge has He wasted...but how many moments I have, forgetting or overlooking the most important thing : God is with me and has made in EVERY moment the possibility to walk with Him, talk with Him, receive from Him, pour Him out. In every moment of my life He has given me full-access to Himself, and I have often settled for much less. 

May we not waste our time thinking we are alone.