the mission field of ugly and difficult

Two weeks ago, Wesley sent out a short Christmas video message with Matt wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, thanking donors for their support and students for being a part of the family, and assuring everyone of the thoughts and prayers of the Wesley team this year end.

Two days after it went out, Matt received a scathing email from a complete and total stranger, both a stranger to Welsey and to Matt personally, ripping his short video to pieces for being meaningless and trite and acting and talking like Matt cares about people when he surely doesn't.

Such an email would have ripped me to pieces and ruined my week...I care so much what people think.

But where the angry-at-the-church stranger went wrong was thinking that Matt didn't actually care about people.

Instead of burying his head in the sand like I would have done, Matt looked the guy up. Found his phone number and called him...blocked.  Emailed him back and told him he'd like to get on the phone, and finally got through.  

He talked to the man so burnt by the church, unemployed since this covid thing began, with six children to provide for, for over an hour. Has talked to him several times since. Has spoken to several people about getting him a job. Has prayed with him and for him, exchanged family photos, and sent him a Christmas card.

I don't know exactly how to word this, but.

I do not want to be the negative, bitter-burnt Christian sending nasty emails to strangers about who they should be and what the church isn't doing and how they've been failed. 

I do not want to be bitter, and friends, I know it is tempting. I am tempted many Sundays, many days as of late. I have seen the countenance of several lovely people this past week just utterly transform with bitterness and sarcasm and anger when certain subjects have come up, and it's ugly. It does ugly things to the bitterness-bearer, it does ugly things to those they are bitter towards. 

I want to, somehow, be the person who hears the hurting heart behind the nasty email...who sees the hurting person behind the outrage...who sees and loves and meets those in darkness instead of skirting away from the cloudy places. Who calls out lies, not for our own defense, but for the sake of His Truth, longing to heal and set us free.  I want to be the person who gives the benefit of the doubt, who exudes grace in ugly moments, the person who responds so utterly different than the world.

I want to befriend the stranger who just called me awful names, because at the end of the day, that stranger is not my enemy, but my missionfield...the hurting, the bitter, the hopeless, the lonely, the lost, the burnt, the self-sufficient, the hateful, the angry.  

Do you know any people like that?  This year, friends, this year: make those people your mission field. Kill them with His lovingkindness and turn the other cheek tenfold. 

Someone told me once that they couldn't reach out to their neighbors like they observed us doing because unlike our apparent neighbors, their neighbors were ugly and difficult people. 

I am praying that this year, being THE ugliest and MOST difficult person of all without Jesus, that I might be the one who hunts you down with love, simply and only because of Him.