I read to the girls in our Easter devotional these words a few days ago...
“The people of Israel hoped Jesus would be a great king who would build them into a powerful nation once again, but Jesus taught them that their expectations were much too small. He was the king they had been waiting for, but not the kind of king they had expected. On that Last Day, King Jesus will appear from above with power and glory to bring his followers into His forever kingdom...THAT kingdom is what we should put our hope in.”
The phrase "their expectations were much too small" has been resounding in my heart over and over since then, because the reality is that they were so confident that the first Easter went down like it did because their expectations had been too BIG. They were utterly disappointed. Totally mislead. They'd thought He was THE ONE, the one who was going to free them from Roman rule and takeover the throne, hallelujah! And instead he was mocked and beat up and slaughtered like a puny sheep without one mighty display of power, without even a sharp word, and they remained under Roman-rule, disappointed and dark and unchanged, crucify Him.
They thought they'd expected TOO MUCH, not realizing that in reality, He was freeing them from the slavery that NEVER ends, freeing them for the FOREVER kingdom that never ends. Not realizing that in reality, He was overcoming the WORLD for them and for their children's children's children's forever. Not realizing He was making it possible for us to draw close to a mighty God.
Their expectations were far too small.
Jesus taught them.
What Easter awe.
It's echoed with me again and more because I've felt Him probing and asking me.
Where are my expectations far too small? What have I been "mis" expecting? Where have I been safely satisfied? Where have I been shallowly disappointed? Where have I been holding onto what should already be fully abandoned? Where have I been safely dwelling where I should be recklessly setting out? Where have I been wanting Him to do this much in my heart and life when I should be stepping out on Him doing HIS much?
So ouch. He's been showing me.
He's not through.
Easter's not for one day, not for just wake up call.
Tonight I was praying over and with Lily, convicted that she and I had more grouchy run-ins than grace run-ins today. I apologized and prayed His peace over her while she slept, and something I prayed made her giggle, and then when I finished she made a joke about someone my prayer had reminded her of. It wasn't unkind exactly...but it wasn't kind and loving, either, but I couldn't say anything, because she'd heard it from ME. She was just echoing my joke...one I'd shared with Matt many times and thought she was missing.
As if they miss anything.
And as I apologized to her a second time--this time for making fun of someone instead of being kind--He convicted me that there are areas in my life that my expectations for myself have been too small.
As long as I MEAN well.
As long as I'm TRYING.
No. too small.
Not 20 minutes later, I went through some emails and emerged livid and hurt, blowing up to Matt.
They should have. They should have! But they didn't. Didn't even care enough to. Didn't even care enough for one small thing that they should have.
All kinds of hurt and anger ran through my head. Immediately I wanted them to hurt the way they had just hurt me. I wanted to not be there for them the way they had not been there for me. I wanted to not show grace or forgiveness for their failure to love me well.
far too small...immediately popped in my mind.
FAR too small a heart for a Christ-follower. For a vibrant believer. For a city on a hill.
Far too small an allowance for salt and light.
He didn't come and EASTER for me to be quick to anger over being wronged. He didn't come and EASTER for me to be biting about others, in front or behind my children. He didn't come and EASTER for me to desire hurt in people's lives instead of loving those who have hurt me.
He didn't EASTER for me to have small expectations of what Jesus being LORD of my life should look like.
The cross I desperately needed, and need still, is right in front of us. Sometimes I think I'm on the resurrected side, and then realize I'm back at the cross again, nailing Him in.
If He is Lord in our lives, there can be no allowance for anything less than HIM, Christ crucified and raised again. There can be no allowance for less than HIS holy, for HIS love. And He's showing me places I've been allowing myself to settle with far less.
There is NO settling for small, friends, this Easter.
May Jesus teach us again that our expectations have been far too small. May we learn again to expect KINGDOM things from Him, LASTING things, REDEEMED things, transformed things, new life...and to allow no small things...bitterness, anger, envy, strife, deceit, hypocrisy, harsh word...in our hearts or lives.
He Easter-ed, at the greatest cost, that He might reconcile the world to Himself. May that reconciliation begin. in. me.--looking like, sounding like, loving like HIM--painfully, sacrificially and fully.
Ephesians 4…30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rageand anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.…
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