Holiness Emphasis Week has been great, today Emmaus is also hosting an alumni day with Pastor Larry speaking, and this afternoon he and Verna are doing a 2 hour symposium on Biblical Parenting that I'm excited to attend along with many of our staff, students, spouses, alumni and ministry partners. As Larry keeps saying, the message of God's Word is simple. It's simple. But doing it...not so much. I'm looking forward to hearing what God has to say through them on this sacred work of parenting.
Matt leaves tomorrow for Moscow Seminary Board Meetings (thankfully NOT in Russia, but in North Carolina) and then on to Wesley Biblical Seminary in Jackson, MS for a few more days. Jodenel and Esther are in the hospital, waiting to meet their precious first baby today or tomorrow, it seems, and we are all keeping busy here with so many good visitors and good classes and good students.
My exciting news of today, however, is one of rest, which is not a topic I write on often because frankly, we have failed.
I was truly humbled over my hospital stay in Miami reading about the Chambers' lives with rest. As busy as Oswald and his wife were, preaching the Word all over the place, even in the middle of the desert in Egypt for many years, PAUSE was always built in. Sitting, resting, enjoying time away alone and the pyramids or fishing and a good book was a pattern in their busy lives of ministry.
Something clicked in me when I realized that this godly man, whose sacrificial ministry has truly impacted MILLIONS over the years and greatly impacted ME, regularly stopped to enjoy ice cream. It speaks my language!
Each evening, they walked the desert and cherished each other and their child, each few weeks they stepped away a few days to enjoy mountains and meadows and tourist-sights and God's sweet, slower presence. PAUSE and resting on Him, it was built into their lives, without apology. Without pride.
And that sweet resting on Him, surely, greatly impacted their ministry.
We haven't done that well, Matt and I.
As I've been seeking and praying His perspective, He keeps bringing me back to that need for PAUSE...for pausing on Him.
His perspective unclouding on the past few months has looked like this:
1--In the middle of very low, very tight, very dark circumstances in Haiti, yes, we have all persevered. But what I hadn't focused on until now is how MIGHTILY our staff and students stepped up when it was necessary. Matt and I weren't dragging anyone through anything, nor even out front, pulling Emmaus along.
Our leaders--when all was raining chaos and misery and uncertainty--were stepping up in ways we never expected. They rose above, they showed up, they led well, they were courageous, they were the example...the men and women around us excelled for His glory in the middle of struggle. In ways we didn't think they were ready, Christ-in-them was MORE than enough. We have seen God at work in the men and women of Emmaus in impossible circumstances, and I am profoundly grateful, inspired, encouraged and humbled. Praise the Lord for difficult circumstances, times that allow God to grow.
2--As life in Haiti has grown increasingly unstable and difficult, as foreigners and businesses and ministries have been closing up and heading out left and right, as we ourselves as foreigners have grown more and more limited in how far we can go, in how freely we can minister, in how freely we can work and travel...HE HAS NOT BEEN LIMITED TO US.
What a powerful, humble lesson I have learned and am still learning of our God...His ways are not our ways. He has not been limited. In in ways He can use us, HE IS. And in ways He can more effectively use our Haitian staff and students and brothers and students, HE IS. In ways our family has grown limited in insecurity and instability, our family in Christ have not been. They go, still. They pour out, more so. What powerful and humble reminder, over and over, that God is not limited by us and our limits.
He never will be.
3--We have done badly as a family, as His servants, with rest and stepping back TO SEE these things. To SEE God at work...with and without us, through and not through us. We have done badly at pausing and waiting upon Him for our life and breath and nourishment and filling, because we have been busily and sacrificially working for Him, for Him.
I can honestly say that we have always, truly, are always doing our very very best. But guess what? There were times we were doing our very best when we should have been resting in HIS very best, instead.
Much of the pain, paralysis and struggle of burn-out this past month could have been avoided if we had trusted Him with the work, and built more pause and peace into our life and ministry...especially for Matt, who is forever on call, responsible for a ridiculous amount, and always always always being approached for more.
Because of who our mighty and gracious God is, it is not too late. It is never too late to humbly repent, and to ask Him to give us a NEW best, His.
As such, we are taking a few weeks off.
Hah, I literally just gasped. Clearly, I'm still wrapping my mind around this :)
Remember the awesome counselor from Soul Care Project who was here a few weeks ago helping us out? They are partnered by one of our faithful partnering churches, Crosspoint, in Niceville, Florida. Together, Soul Care and Crosspoint have offered to find us a place to stay, a car to drive, and provide continuing counsel and care for our whole family for a few weeks this spring.
If you were going to step away, wouldn't you want it to be in a place called Niceville?
No speaking. No traveling. No teaching. No guests and visitors, though we love them. Just family time, rest time, pause time, read time, prayer time, worship, godly help and counsel, etc. I pray there might be a blessed dishwasher, and I know there will be ice cream, somewhere.
We don't go till mid-February, but the Lord's got Nikki here to teach my classes, Matt is taping lectures as we speak, homeschool will go with us, and all the reasons I've always felt like we couldn't/shouldn't/can't...He is going to care for. He is not limited by us being here. He is not faithful to Emmaus or to Haiti or to one friend or family because of Matt and Stacey.
He is faithful because HE IS.
Praise the Lord.
This is exciting! Is this wisdom from the book you were talking about, "Mrs. Oswald Chambers"?
ReplyDeleteoh yes! Somehow THEM being able to do this, well and consistently, made me realize that stepping away wasn't a weakness, but necessary for strength in Him. I don't know why I always need permission for pursuing HIS good things for myself and my family, even when I can easily wish them and appreciate them and enjoy them on OTHERS. If it was important for the Chambers, man alive, I probably need it too! :)
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