Gertha got to a local market and got us all kind of eggs and onions and pineapples and oranges today, a lot more cars were on the road, and Micheline even came to help with the kiddos so I could get some work done. Some rumor that "the bandits" are taking a few days off from protesting so everyone can get out and restock on groceries, some hope that if things get moving again it could help, everyone is frustrated that there is no plan, no proposal...and the one thing every one of us have in common is that we have no idea what tomorrow brings. It is a stretching place to be, actually having to trust God with each day!
As she and Gertha were leaving today, I cornered them both and made them be direct, something no one likes to do culturally. "What do you need in your house right now?" I asked, and neither wanted to tell me, because they don't want to ask. Finally, I pried and they both said the same thing...rice is so expensive right now. So expensive. The rice I gave them Monday is gone, because they're helping feed those around them who don't have jobs, don't have help.
"God will take care of us?" Gertha said. Asked. Said again, trying not to ask.
Holding these women's hands in my kitchen, these women who have BEEN God taking care of our family so, so many times for twelve years, I was grateful to be here. Sacred space.
"YES. God will take care of us." I pulled out my Bible for the 13th time today, back to the passage that was scheduled for my reading for today. We read it and prayed and I pressed some rice money into their hands and God is taking care of us. I pray for His people throughout Haiti.
I'm so thankful that we have good Haitian brothers and sisters who are keeping us posted and staying involved in what this all means not only for them, but for us. As always, we know that our Haitian brothers and sisters KNOW a lot better than we do, have seen and understand a lot more than we do, and they are beautifully protective of our family and community here at Emmaus and they are such good counsel on all things Haiti!
The girls have been missing their school friends so much, but today 6 of their village buddies came for the day and they all had such a good time. The girls were all cracking me up...doing something they are NEVER allowed to do because schools won't allow for it...painting their nails :)
Tonight as the girls laid in bed falling asleep, I pulled open my Bible again and read to them again the same words.
Because reality is, trusting Him today looks like choosing, working hard, to be present as Nora is playing with mushroom "books about Jesus" instead of being tempted to worry. It means looking for moments to encourage Job, Leme, Gertha, Maxi and listening to His leading. It means thriving on Him, in the middle. It means still cooking and cleaning and carrying on and focusing on Him. It means caring for our girls well, pushing Ben on the swing with a grateful heart. It means not riding on every wave of emotion, but being firmly grounded on Him.
It means actually, deeply trusting Him. In the moments. In the conversations. In the decisions. In the not knowing the future. In the waiting on the Lord.
I've read Psalm 27 so many times in my life. So many. But my reading plan for the Word in a year gave me Psalm 27 for February 15th, and it's never before meant what it does today, not just for me, but for our Haitian Brothers and Sisters.
Read it with me, and pray it with me, for you, for us, for Haiti. For whatever uncertain future you're facing, too...
"The Lord is my light and my salvation--
So why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
When evil people come to devour
when enemies and foes attack
they will stumble and fall.
Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even when I am attacked,
I will remain confident.
The one thing I ask of the Lord, the thing I seek most,
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord.
For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on an high rock.
Then I will hold my head high
and offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.
Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me.
My heart has heard you say, "Come and talk with me."
and my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming."
You have always been my helper.
Don't leave me now; don't abandon me,
God of my salvation!
Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.
I am confident that I will see the Lord's goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."
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