It has been a hard and good summer, all around.
And the last thing I thought I'd be doing tonight was sobbing. America's hard, Haiti's hard, the heat, the travel, the tarantulas, small kiddos, the cultures, the languages, it's hard.
But the hardest part, hands down, is the dear people.
We are c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y making relationships and saying good-bye. Remember when Lily was 4 and yelled after a visiting team, "Goodbye, I love you, and I will never see you again!"? Or last week, when my little niece is saying, "Aunt Stacey's coming back soon? Soon?"
Yeah. That's hard.
And for the third time this summer, I was driving away tonight with tears pouring, WANTING those relationships daily for my children, wanting those relationships for myself, wanting to BE in those relationships...and saying good-bye instead.
I am the woman who hides in the bathroom when people are leaving because I HATE goodbyes. I would far rather go saying, "See you tomorrow!" or someone saying, "Stacey says she'll see you soon, go on now!" then deal with the reality that it's always, "See you...someday...probably!"
We could stop building relationships, protecting our nomadic hearts and the nomadic hearts of our children, or we can keep on diving deep and transparent, building and building in His family, letting Him deal with the tears and ache in our hearts.
So we dive. And I am thankful.
And I am working to rejoice.
Tomorrow morning at 5:30 we head further south for Fort Meyers to spend a few days with Matt's family...they haven't seen the girls since Nora was three weeks old and it is time!