29 May 2016

prayer season

Talking to myself has been one of the most powerful vehicles of the Holy Spirit in my life.

I was reaffirmed of this again today.

There are always so many things swimming along in our heads, most things we don't even realize are thoughts and ideas we are toying with.  

And most often, it is not until I SAY them out loud and HEAR myself saying it that the Holy Spirit makes it instantly clear where His heart is on the matter...and where mine should be.

It is often in these very conversations with myself that God openly converses with me.

I don't really know how this works, and yes, I do realize that I am encouraging you to talk to yourself...which sounds as nuts as it probably is.

It's when I SAY, "Nobody cares" that I'm instantly rebuffed with the reminder that HE cares...so incredibly, so sacrificially, so eternally that it suddenly sounds downright blasphemous to have even said so.

It's when I SAY, "What if they think this thing that's not true about me?" that God says, "What difference does it make what 'they' think?  What do I think?"

It was today, when I said out loud to the Lord, "They are SUCH a hypocrite! I can't STAND it!" that the Lord immediately spoke to my heart, "Have you spent ANY time dwelling with me today? You know that I am what you need."

It's when I SAY it, and suddenly realize what direction my fickle, emotional heart is going that the Holy Spirit redirects and guides, convicts and confirms...I am SO incredibly thankful for His powerful work in our lives.

If you followed me around, you'd be shocked how many times I am verbalizing over dishes..."You're right. You're right!  Help me!" and Matt can't figure out who I'm talking to. 

Some would call it prayer.  

He is using this season of my life to show me how incredibly insufficient, incapable and incompetent I am.  

Not harsh.  True...and Freeing.

Man alive, there is just nothing worth anything in me outside of Christ.  There is just nothing good in me outside of Him.  I've simply got nothing in the world to offer anyone aside from Him.  I'm so anxious to be dying these days, dying so much more to myself.

As I'm working to let go of so many things, my need for Him is great, and man, when we need Him, when we seek Him, He is found.  

Talk Him your heart today...see what He has to say.

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