As much as I am missing my sister's dear family, it is such a gift to be back in a place where the sun warms your skin and your feet can be ever-bare. Haiti has RUINED me on cold weather. I never want to experience it again!
I was reading through my Lent passages yesterday, and was touched profoundly by the well known verse, "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you."
I was touched by it yesterday because it is true.
Sofie has this maddening quality. We experience it 30 dozen times a day.
Mom: "Sofie, go put on your shoes please."
Sofie, one second later: "Moooommm. I can't FIND my shoes!"
Mom: "Did you look for them?"
Mom: "Are they on the shoe shelf?"
Sofie, one second later: "Yep! Thanks, Mom."
She can NEVER FIND ANYTHING...because she NEVER actually LOOKS.
Looking means changing what she is currently doing. Looking means MOVING. In a nutshell, looking means work.
People talk about how they don't see God, they don't feel God, they don't see Him at work. They tell me that it is amazing how we can see God at work in Haiti, because they don't see Him at work in their own lives, in America, in normal day-to-day.
This verse makes me want to ask, "Does God see YOU? Is God feeling YOU near? Is God seeing YOU at work?"
Of course God is ever present, ever watching, ever knowing, ever near. But God is interested in a relationship with us, not in being our genie. If we want Him closer...we must draw close! If we want to see Him, we must be looking, we must be coming into His presence. If we want to feel Him, we must be felt.
Seek Him, and He will be found, Jeremiah 29 tells us.
I wonder how often we are frustrated that He doesn't seem to be able to be found...and we haven't actually done anything to SEEK Him. God is sitting there where He has always been, and we're going, "Mooooommm! Where are my shoes????" because it's a lot easier to just have someone say, "Boom, here's God" or "Boom, there's a miracle!" than to have to MOVE. Change. Seek. Fast. Pray. Be broken. Draw near.
It is one of the things I love about Lent...a deliberate time of searching and knowing our brokenness, searching and knowing His face, His love, His forgiveness, His new life...seeking Him. Drawing Near to Him.
And as we do, He draws near to us. Praise the Lord, God of the universe, mighty in power, holy and righteous and love, He. Draws. Near.
What wondrous love is this, oh my soul.
There are dark nights of the soul. There are seasons of knowing the Lord is there, without feeling. May we stay there, drawing near, drawing near, seeking and praying and memorizing and fasting and praying, and WAIT upon Him.
He WILL be found. Yesterday I found His answering prayer in pecans, I saw His amazing redemption in email, I experienced His ability to provide through rejection, I felt His powerful hand squelch a guilt through homeschool. I saw Him at work through mere humans, I felt His love through couscous, I received new strength through prayer.
Seek Him, today, that He may be found. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.
He will be found.