the enemy's advantage: one toe

I thought, entirely and truly, that I HAD forgiven them.  Forgiven the hurt of what was said and unsaid...forgiven the pain of unmet expectations...forgiven all that had angered and pained.

Until I heard the name unexpectedly, and my jaw clenched and pain and anger flooded in.

Been there?  Someone coming to mind?

That's normal, right?

It must be, because as I was reading through 2 Corinthians 2 yesterday, Paul brought the same issue to my table over two thousand years ago...but in a light I'd never considered.

He writes to the Corinthians about ones who have caused great sorrow to their community, and urges that they be forgiven.

I put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things.  What I have forgiven, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ. (vs10)

Yes, though we struggle to forgive deep hurts intentional or unintentional, recent or from long ago, we know we have been instructed in His Word to forgive, as He has forgiven us.

But what interested me most was what Paul says next...

Forgive...so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes. (vs11)

Working in a culture where Satan is openly recognized and often openly followed, Matt and I are always careful to keep the focus on Jesus, not on Satan.

However, we are not to be ignorant of his schemes, one of which, as we see here, is USING our unforgiveness for his own glory and evil purpose.

Satan can't use our forgiveness, for there is nothing left to use.

But our bitterness?  Our harboring?  Our clenched jaws...our dormant anger...our fisted pain?  He takes FULL advantage of those dark spots, of those footholds in our lives, and manifest his schemes there.

Our missionary patriarch here in Haiti often tells a story he heard from an old Haitian pastor about how Satan works.

A huge bus with every two in every single seat is NOT a full bus in Haiti.  A huge bus with three in every single seat is not a full bus.  A huge bus with three in every single seat and twenty in the aisle and three on the stairs and chickens underneath and goats tied to the sides and luggage piled on top is NOT a full bus in Haiti.

As another man flags the bus down, the driver screeches to a stop, allowing the passenger to grip the railings and place one ball of one foot on the bottom stair and off they go.  Almost full.

"This is how Satan works," the old preacher told him.  "You do not have to be the driver of the bus to be used by Satan.  You don't have to have a seat, you don't have to be inside, you don't have to be all aboard."

"One toe.  One toe in Satan, and your whole body is off in the direction he is going, used by him for his purposes."

Forgiveness, then, is not only about our freedom.  It is not only about because Christ forgave us.   It is not only about that we may be forgiven.  It is ALSO about REFUSING to set ONE TOE on that bus.  REFUSING to be in ANY way available to be used by Satan and his schemes.

If the thought of a person, living or dead, intimate or removed, floods us with anger...
if the mention of one name, significant or petty stabs us with bitterness...
if the knowledge of one's success or joy brings us irritation or sullenness...
if the observation of another's pain brings us satisfaction or joy....

There is a foothold there, which Satan WILL take full advantage of.

"Satan's schemes" are focused and consistent in our lives: to separate us and others from God and to destroy us and others.

The cause of Christ is too great to give even one toe to another, even for one sin (unforgiveness) that is satisfying or comfortable to hold on to...even one that is excruciating to revisit and FORGIVE.

Forgiveness, like everything else in the life of a Christ-follower, is not about FEELINGS, or Jesus' agony over going to the cross, asking the Father to remove the burden from him, (Luke 22:42) would have trumped our salvation!

I have more to give Him, again.  He has more work to do in me, that I might LOVE DEEPLY my enemies.